in search of a new identity

2008-10-27T20:17:00.003+08:00

its the time again. time to decide who i really am.

frankly i really feel like i have been made use of. gosh. tak tahu ah kalau ade org tu terase. hmm. its quite upsetting to know this is the kind of treatment i received after all this while. i don't ask for much. just a bit of respect and a little bit of gratitude. but do he/she gave me that?

oh whatever. i do whatever i think is best for me. that is all.

syg, as per normal, have been patience in hearing all my ranting and cuddling me whenever i cried. feel so emotional this whole month. but he don't mind at all. love him so much.

so yea. lots of stuff been going on. raya with BE. ITP. school. another hectic term, i suppose. whats with add coming up some more. oh well. time management i guess. i know for sure, i will be avoiding that certain place for the time being. feel so hurt to even step inside. maybe i will step in when necessary.

ha. to ensure i never step in, i left the task to val to remind me why i shouldn't step in. and oh my gosh. she really is one stubborn girl.

darling nures, ama, shiffa and all of the rest of the girlfriends have been there for me during this emotional period. thanks you guys. i guess without you i will be lost and i really mean literally lost.

ooh. phoebe, we should really hang out with ronald really soon. maybe after his A'level but before he enter NS. gosh. so gonna miss Ronald. hahax. still remember the argument back when we were studying for O'level. remember those days? hahax. hilarious like nobody business.

pardon me if i hurt anyone feeling during those time when i talk bluntly or joke about you. believe me. it never have been my intention to hurt you. i just have this habit of saying whatever there is in my head. that is just genetic problem. really sorry.

ooh. and i have watch HSM 3. hahax. love the movie. though the first time i watch it, i don't really get the whole story thanks to syg who totally distracted me. hehex.

i have this very gut feeling that my sister is up to something. hmm.

gosh. darn tired now. school tomorrow. damnation to it.

sheesh

.aishah.

2008-10-02T21:06:00.003+08:00

i know this come in quite late, since their birthday is like on 30th September. But nevertheless - HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIFFA AND FAROQ. ok. the second picture, you can ignore syg picture. should crop it away, but he look so cool and cute. lol.

anyway to the both of them. enjoy your 18th birthday to the fullest. it is this age that alot of opportunity should be grab and not let go. experience this age before u reach the age of 19. because frankly, i think once you are 19, you feel darn old. don't you think so syg?

hahax

okie. i m feeling so random. hahax. got to see syg after not seeing him for one week. ONE WHOLE WEEK!! that is freaking long you know. sheesh. anyway. went over to bedok before i went to E!Hub to do my work there. so yeah. 30 minutes meeting. well, it means alot to me. miss him so much. he left malaysia and enjoying himself there by now. coming back tomorrow. by then, i would have left for malaysia and come back on saturday night. well, at least i got sunday to look forward to.

so it HARI RAYA already. okie. frankly, i don't feel the festive mood. i guess because of all the work. damn. ha. but its ok ah. i mean, i bought my own stuff using my own money for like the very first time. i mean, usually my mom will give me a budget of 200 bucks to buy all my clothes and shoes and all. but this time nope. i use my hard earn money. see. i m such a good daughter.

GAG!

gosh. hari raya was pretty much ok. but i can feel the tense around ah. my grandfather fallen sick, so everyone is like worried for him. LIKE REAL! ha.

i still did my routine collection and all. heh. i even got some of my cousins asking me not to wear heels cause it make them look really short. i mean. its only 1 inch. its not that high. isn't it?

lol.

shopping as per normal, using my pay. at least i bought some good stuff. gonna treat syg real soon to his supposedly present. hmm. maybe i will do it this sunday. we'll see how it goes.

camps coming.

HSM3 opening.

hahax

counting down.

SPAC2GO - 3 days

ICE Camp - 3 days

FOT Camp - 8 days

HSM 3 - 22 days

okie. i m crapping. frankly, i have no mood to blog now. don't know what's up with me. i guess to sleepy..

miss syg really alot now..

SYG!!! love ya..

dang.

sheesh.

ok..

i need to sleep.

hahax.

to all the muslim - SELAMAT HARI RAYA. MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN. sebulan berpuase akhirnya tiba syawal yang mulia. ku susun ke sepuluh jari ku, meminta maaf, jikalau tersilap bahasa atau tersinggung hati. you know what, i will just speak in english. malay is so freaking difficult. ha. anyway. enjoy this festive season! collection, jangan tak collection.

hahax.

missing him alot.

||.aishah.||

2008-09-29T10:43:00.000+08:00

deprived of sleep.

gosh. as per usual, i m all cranky. yesterday event got me really burn out and burn. and i really m literally burn. i got uneven tan on my body. nose is freaking red. sheesh.

is a good exposure actually, being able to help out in different event. only problem is that, i have to work the next morning and i have insufficient rest.

syg

thanks to syg for that. well, can't blame him so much for that ah. he was busy cleaning his room (cleaning his room took the whole day. gosh. his room is so freaking huge. hahax) ok. here is what happened. i slept kinda early yesterday. about 11 pm like that. smsed syg asking him whether we can talk on the phone if not i will just turn in to my bed. well, he told me to give him a few minutes. okie. a few minutes. i ended up sleeping waiting for him to tell me whether i can called him. i guess i was sleeping soundly because the next thing i know, my sis was shaking me vigorously saying that my phone is ringing. and yep. syg called. sheesh. i think he realise that he woke me up coz he ended up apologizing profusely. hehex.

as per usual, he tease me like nobody business. i think i should called him a bugger syg instead of idiot syg. hahax. inside joke. anyway, kept telling him to change his habit. as per usual, he gave me one thousand and one reason why he would not. zzz. then he told me about his mom and all. gosh. his mom is really a cool dudette. hahax.

can i have this dance.

dortz. hahax. the new song i put on blog is nice ay? hahax. HSM3!! gosh. i can't wait for its movie.

girlfriends outing.

went out with phoebe to northpoint after i break my fast. gosh. northpoint is boring to a point that you wish it never opened. hahax. 3 quarter of the shops are like closed. i guess its because its getting ready for the grand opening. nevertheless, i get to buy some stuff. new shoes. new concealer. new nail polish. hahax. well, it was on offer, so i definitely take it ah. hahax.poor phoebe have to literally follow me around while i shop. SORRY!

anyway. talk the whole thing out to phoebe. yep. from A to Z. i guess she will be the peacemaker among us now. hahax.

but that gurl ah. never change sia. scandal here scandal there. at last she settled on one guy, whom i have yet to see... gurl. you better show him to me soon!!.

ditto.

hahax. i m just bored. i m falling asleep now. need coffee. okie. cant take coffee. fasting.. zzz. can't wait for hari raya. its C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-I-O-N TIME! hehex.

got to get back to work. hahax. i think someone will just have to kill me now..

||.aishah.||

2008-09-27T22:41:00.002+08:00

this is what i drew when i was bored at work. lol

well, i guess, i can just say, WELCOME TO AISHAH LIFE? hahax.

definitely in need of help and prozac to secure this insane mind.

ditto.

||.aishah.||

2008-09-27T16:44:00.010+08:00

well. i did forewarn that i will be changing blog skin, and here it is. hahax. fine its not exactly sweet vintage as i said previously. but i did change my blog skin nevertheless.

fine. its like just taking others work. hey. u cant blame me. an IT illiterate designing her own blog page can only occurs when pigs can fly. yep. hahax.

thought of taking this blog design but thought better of it. hahax. want to know why? i will show you why.

yep. call me retarded. hahax. laugh for all you want. sheesh.

okie. actually i myself m laughing for choosing this design. feel like a lesbian somehow. dortz. hahax.

wanted to put tagboard. but i got this very gut feeling that it will be collecting spiderweb very very soon. hahax. so thought better of it and just replace the tagboard part with a song just like my previous skin. your skin? hmm????

ok. fine. its technically not my skin. like duh.

its pay day already! yippee. but sadly, i won't be using it just yet. need to pay val her money first. then the rest will be for ADD and appreciation dinner. yep. hahax.

ADD meeting yesterday was fruitful. at least i know now that my committee are doing their work. gosh. i love the poster design. its really is mysterious. well, like duh aishah! your ADD theme is MYSTERY! oops. hahax

i m hyperventilating here. hahax. ok. not exactly. i m all fluttery. don't know why also. gosh.

i miss school.

i miss my girlfriends.

i miss my lovable friends.

i miss my teddy bear.

last but not the least again...

...

....

.....

......

.....

....

...

I miss muhd. shafiq b hadi chua alot.

ditto ditto..

hahax.

better get back to my work before my manager start screaming at me.

All I want to do is stand close to you

Be by your side

All I want to do is make the world revolve

Around you and I

What I would give up

What I would go through

To get it right

All I want to do in this lifetime is make you mine

familiar? hahax. happy figuring who sing this part

Enjoy the new HSM3 songs!

||.aishah.||

2008-09-26T11:50:00.000+08:00

i'm bored. definitely bored. i can die out of boredom. AH!!! the only thing i have to do now is to find transaction cost of other payment system. i hate doing research. it is so not my type. so yeah. i m bored stiff here.

killer joy.

i m so gonna enjoy myself during ADD meeting later. sheesh. going to city hall for meeting. hehex. let's see what my committee have come up with.

ROCK ON ADD COMMITTEE 0809!

i miss syg tremendously. he having his audition like now. wonder how he faired for it. hope they get to go through the audition and be able to perform. he has been so busy with his band stuff. difficult to even meet him. ok fine. i just met him yesterday (over the moon). but still? wish we stayed closer to each other, like darling nures and her guy.

boredom.

that is why i m ranting like nobody business. i hate doing research. never my cup of tea. if you asked me to compile, i m better at that. sheesh.

events after events are coming up. let's just say, i will be pretty tight and may not even come back to school the first few week of school. hahax. fat chance. miss school tremendously.

i miss going for camps. gosh. i think i will want to join heartware network and plan for the youth camp. hmm. maybe i should do that.

ADD planning have been coming out fairly well. let's see. we got a free entertainment company who's willing to sponsor sound system and emcee. how cool is that? save us $1350 of our budget.

talking about ADD, i realise how much money i will have to handle this time. last year was about 11k. this year, its close to 20k. gosh. alot-alot. this year ADD must be impactful and memorable for the year 3s.

troublesome ah this year 3s. first thing first, they want their tickets to be cheap. but at the same time, they want a 5 star hotels. ah? gawd.

in exactly 2 weeks, it will be FOT. i wonder if i have the energy to run around. no helper for myself, other than ama and regi, who will definitely be busy managing the camp on that day. so yeah. left alone. see that syg? i m left alone. hahax. okie. i m crapping way too much then normal.

boo hoo.

i want my bed now! i feel so lethargic and sleepy. damn. i want my 12 hours of sleep! i want my comfy bed!!

dortz.

feeling quite dumb now. ha. listening to jonas brother (when you look me in the eyes). wonder when syg going to sing that to me. its like how long? 2 months since he last promised to sing this song for me? ha. well, i guess he is too busy. won't pester him at all about it.

flipping through the latest HOT magazine. set my eyes on this dress, that i m so gonna buy for appreciation dinner. if there is no appreciation dinner this year, then i will wear it for ADD. hehex. its darn cool lah. bronze colour freaking nice, simple, classy and sophisticated. then add in with a 3-inch high stilettos and a head band that look like those crown princess usually wear. hmm. down-to-earth makeup? hahax. i m really picturing the whole thing already. kinda cool actually.

shucks. hahax.

i think i better prepare my agenda for ADD meeting later. at least i know what to talk about later. hahax.

jolly well.

i love vanessa hudgens! hahax. i m so gonna watch HSM3 on theatre once its out. drag syg along. hahax. he will definitely be cursing and swearing and putting on a black face for being force to watch that movie. oh c'mon. vanessa is so hot. the songs are nice(i love ballads and pop). good looking guys. how can you not watch it? and its the last part of HSM already. ha.

till next entry i guess?

p.s: i m thinking of having hair extension, then curl my hair just like vanessa's hair style, with brown highlights. what do you think?

lol.

||.aishah.||

2008-09-25T15:15:00.000+08:00

oh gosh..

i envy all those who get to go for LTC. i want to go for it too!!!! well, abu just came back. hahax. fine. not just. he came back yesterday. gideon will be back tommorrow. i m the only council who did not go for it!! hpmh.

i was suppose to go for 2 to 4 september LTC to Sibu. together with syg. damn upsetting when i realise i cant go for it. i was looking for it since last year. LAST YEAR! damnit.

ok. i m like repeating the story again and again. get over it aishah! everyone knows you want to go for LTC. sheesh. get a life. tell us another story.

zzz.

scolding myself. hahax. retard.

anyway. in 2 weeks time, it will be BEC FOT. up for a change i aspect. yep. the FOC committee are back with a different technique. horn growing on our head. hehex. okie. i m repeating the whole thing again. sorry guys. i m just bored here in my office.

i was so bored that i literally draw out syg and my name on a piece of paper and took pictures of it. call me a ditto. hahax. i m bored. what do you expect. waiting for 3.30pm so that i can go to sports school for reccee. wondering whether i get to see cute hunks there. hmm. gosh. hahax.

ditto. ditto.

miss him alot. stupid nightmare make me go hysterical. i ended up waking up in tears. and all syg can do is laugh. zzz.

fine. FOT is drawing real near. i m telling you. i m so not prepared at all. i have not even get the camp booklet ready for helpers. gosh.
get back to work aishah.

really sorry to ama, regi and abu. 3/4 of my attention have been for ADD. marketing will be starting when school reopen. i have not even done the proposal. sponsorship not really there. AH!!! panic mode instilled now.

sheesh. too laid back i guess. hahax. stop procrastinating and start working aishah.

okie. fine. i will start work. only after i get a good 12 hours of rest. haha.

need to go off. will post the pics i took later. ciao..

||.aishah.||

2008-09-24T22:19:00.005+08:00

i m so gonna change my blog skin very soon. bored with the pink blog. hahax. gonna take the sweet vintage skin. it look awesome.

DORTZ.

hahax.

miss my darlings.

miss volleyball.

miss running.

miss my bed.

miss my class (not the lecture though).

miss reading Harry Potter series.

miss watching movies.

miss my management committee.

miss my friends.

miss shopping.

miss sleeping in till the late afternoon.

miss my lecturers.

and last but not the least.

...

....

.....

......

.......

........

.........

........

.......

......

.....

....

...

MISS SYG ALOT!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

||.aishah.||

2008-09-23T13:49:00.000+08:00

“Do you know that you are such an idiot? Sheesh.”

Hahax. That is the line that I kept using everytime I talk to syg. He very irritating can? Ask him to do something, a lot of excuses he will give me. Then when i told him to say the 3 magical words he will say:

"3 words is never enough to describe the love i have for you."

ZZZZ. Just a simple 3 words.

At last I m done with my admin stuff, for ITP. Slept late so that I can finish it by today. Shucks. Now I m yawning non stop. Tired like no body business. Well, admin work are still piling and waiting for me to start on it. Grrr. Guess I will be returning home late just to finish those works. Sheesh.

People claimed that they understood me. Is that really? I mean, I myself don’t understood my own life, how can others understood it then? My parents? They will never understand me even though they took care of me for 18 years already. They don’t even know what is my hobby, how can they understand me then?

Irony. Sheesh.

Did not talk to my parents again. Felt bad when my mom asked me nicely to eat with them. It’s like she purposely cook chili crab so that I will eat with them. Tempting offer, but I guess my ego and heart overruled my head.

Darling Nures. Don’t be upset k? It hurts to know that you are upset and I can’t do much to cheer you up. Call me ay? Anytime you want. I want to hear it from you. If you don’t want to talk about it, then don’t aite? I can be the one talking non stop that you wish I will stop. Ok. That’s not really cheering you up. More like irritating you more.
Smile, k? You make me smile when I called you ranting to you whatever that had happen. This time you can do it on me. No problemo. No charges also. Hahax

Cheery.

Never bother taking good care of myself already. My weight drop tremendously. I could not be bothered already. Its no wonder my doctor kept scolding me.

Syg, you still own me stuff eh. One romantic date with a surprise. Will be waiting for it. =)

Shiffa, having sleepover soon? Right after the holiday, maybe? Hahax. We put it on hold for a long time, don’t you agree? Since last year sia we planned. Ama and Nures should join us also.

Ooh. I met Fauzi Laili and Khairul Anuar at Kallang MRT yesterday!

Hahax. Retarded sia.

Love them all.

||.aishah.||

2008-09-22T14:09:00.000+08:00

I am sleepy, cranky, over-tired and so not in the mood to work at all today. I want my precious bed. I want to sleep in till 12 noon, and not slack my butt off to work. *YAWN*

Sheesh. The only thing that I m looking forward to is breaking fast together with my favorite girlfriends later – Ama, Shiffa and Nures. Waiting for Nures reply now. Well, Ama couldn’t make it though. Understand understood gurl. No worries. After ITP, we will go out together and eat as much as we want at Spaghetti Too. Hahax.

Event yesterday. Was practically under the sun for a whole 3 hours plus. I reckon I look much darker now. No fair. I want my fair skin back.

The event was all the way at Bedok, so I took the opportunity to meet syg.

Gosh, he is always making me piss and irritated everytime we met. Keep nagging at me. Kept arguing, then tease me like nobody business. He can really pass out as the girl, while I become the guy. Hmm. Maybe that is a good idea. Lol. Met him near his home, went to ECP. Break fast there. The Indian chicken chop is so spicy and red. I ended up with a red mouth after the whole thing. It made my face look flush, together with the stuff syg did. Zzz.

Syg bought a black baju kurung (guys) for this hari raya so that we can wear the same colour together. *blush*. He went against his parents wish for me. That’s call sacrificing. Lolx.

I realize I talk non stop about my problem to him. Poor thing. Hahax. I guess you just have to endure those torturing moment?

Now that I m not talking to any of my family member except for Ain and Aniq (the youngest 2 in the family), I ended up calling syg and talk to him every single night. Wait. No. He was the one doing the talking. More like nagging actually. Zzz. Love him no matter what.

To phoebe – I don’t know what is happening between all five of us. Ok, fine I do know. Just that I tried not to think about it. Well, it was quite a surprise when you still sms me asking me to meet up with you to clarify stuff. Frankly, I thought you will just avoid me like the rest. But you did not. For a moment, it brought tears to my eyes (dramatic moments, hahax). Well, I just want to say, thanks for giving me the chance to tell you the whole story of what has happened. I admit I have kept lots of secret from you guys, but the day we meet, I will tell you everything that you want to know – from parents, to schools, to my health condition. Thanks a lot girl, it really means a lot.

Love my syg and girlfriends a lot.

||.aishah.||

2008-09-19T14:29:00.000+08:00

i m officially pathetic. really. i can't sustain a friendship of 4 years. no. 5 years actually. what in the world is happening to me?

i m literally giving up half way through. i remember andy (my god-bro) and adonis (my god-son) saying that i m overly persistent. never giving up a job half way through. so what the hell is happening to me now then?

i can easily said I GIVE UP if too much stress. i used to be able to handle stress. whatever happen? okie. at most i will cry and rant if its really stressful. but never give up.

oh gosh. i can't maintain a friendship. what make me think i can handle a relationship?.

i m deluded. definitely. why am i in this world then again? no one appreciate me. even my parents are like calling me stuffs. my been accused. i hae been maligned. it hurts. tremendously.

whatever make people think that i m strong? i can be strong for other people but not for myself. why is that so?

i kept lying to myself. i feel totally downcasted (whatever it mean, seem really appropriate in this context).

i hate my life. i hate everything around me. i don't belong here. i should not be born. i should be unknown from people so that no one gets hurt by me.

oh gosh. somebody just stab me. i don't have any more energy to live. just kill me. i don't even have the strength to kill myself. sheesh.

end this agony. love can really make me happy. syg did love me. and he make me happy. but after that moment, i feel empty and cold.

i m such a dissapointment to everyone. ignore me if you want to. it is totally understandable.

to all those who believe in me, i guess, i m a weakling after all. a weakling in disguise. a pathetic in this current phase. sorry if ever i hurt you.

||.aishah.||

2008-09-18T21:38:00.002+08:00

im in love with vanessa hudgens. ah. i really love her new album. identified!!!. oh gosh. can i at the very least have her hair?

hahax

||.aishah.||

2008-09-18T15:07:00.000+08:00

its official. people don't understand me. totally. i mean, more time with others? whatever lah. i find it dumb to even vent my anger here. i mean, they don't even know what i m doing in the first place. sheesh. and for jon - this is not about you if you want to know. i really have no energy arguing with you. so don't worry, after today, i won't mention anything about you on my blog. lets just say whatever happen between us it will be between us. put up on your blog if you want to. i don't care already.

sunday event. shucks. everything is like a freaking last minute now. damn damn. problems. darn clients. sheesh.

i m telling you, working with a designer can be realy a pain in the neck. first thing, they are damn emotional. ah. ok, thats applied to me i guess. zzz. well, apparently the client is upset due to our ever changing ideas and concept for a light box. pity him. i myself will be pissed if i was in his shoes.

okie. need to get back to work. sidetracked abit 'coz too tired looking at the microsoft excel. hahax.

||.aishah.||

2008-09-17T09:22:00.001+08:00

result out. sheesh. well, i pass everything. but not as well as my last semester result. kinda dissapointing. oh well. thats goes to tell me not to be confident about my exam. the module that i love the most - Account and Finance - don't even meet my target marks. shucks. expected an A at the very least. but no. i have to get a B+. shucks.

ok. these few days have not been going so well for me. now its all up to syg to decide. i m kinda afraid of his decision. whatever his decision he makes will impact drastically to my life. and really its DRASTICALLY. i really hope the both of us know what the heck we are doing.

have been crying the whole day thanks to all the problem. i literally broke down whenever i m alone. i m afraid. tremendously afraid. i love him so much, that i do not want to be separated from him. but, will he want that?

he has been everything to me, when i start this semester. it was because of him i look forward to coming to school. i made a dumb mistake of asking him to think about it. i m dumb. tremendously dumb. how i wish i could go back time and change the whole thing. ok. maybe not the whole thing. maybe just go back to yesterday, when i was talking to him about what happen. yep. that is the time. but then again. if i could change history, i will go back to last saturday to change the whole thing so that this won't happen. ok, aishah. enough crapping.

darling nures and abu have been such a kind soul listening to all my ranting and all. they were so positive that me and syg will work out. maybe it will. i guess i need the courage. but i m too afraid for the past to be repeated. its one hell of a past. thanks you guys for making me smile eventhough i was in the midst of crying. you all really gave me the courage to carry on this whole thing. also to shiffa, for sending that cute, sweet sms. hahax. it really brighten my days to know there are still people who cared alot for me.

to jon. i take back whatever i said. really sorry about all those stuff. i won't try to cover up any of my mistake. you can get angry with me for all i care - i don't care. i was being selfish and childish about all those stuff. really sorry. scold me if that really make you happy. frankly, i miss the whole gang alot. trust me on that. but if you all are still angry over what i have done, then i think, its time for me to bow out gracefully over the whole thing.

i really hope syg knows what he is doing.

||.aishah.||

2008-09-15T15:12:00.000+08:00

gosh.. enjoy this story. its quite a sweet story.

Inspirational Love Story

2008-09-14T23:19:00.003+08:00

This is precisely why i m moving out of my parents house and live on my own at the age by the time i m 21. i hate it. people who are stupid enough to just jump onto conclusion. thank gawd parents believe me. i mean, for gawd sake, it is the fasting month. hate this person. never ever forgive him. its all thanks to him that my parents think wrongly of syg. urgh.

don't know how syg going to take if he hear this accusation that have been made onto us. i mean, just about my aunt, he already feel bad. now this? gosh.

i really don't deserve him. no. he don't deserve me. erm. isn't that like the same? oh what the f**k. syg could have chosen not to go through what i m going through. he could have chosen better girl with better life and whose family don't give much problem. but no - he still chose me and stuck with me. he promise not to let me go. this is precisely why i love him from the bottom of my heart. its like, my problem became his, and he willingly help me solve it. we solve it together. never had this happened in my life. never.

the accusation, will be something that will always be in my mind to remind me that people are not to be trusted. i could trust no one now, other than my love one including syg, ama, darling nures and shiffa.. even my friend whom i thought is my bestfriend betrayed me of my secret. see. i can't trust people no more. don't blame me for that. its what i have been through.

life have never been fair - that is what i learn back when i was in secondary. but now, i understand why it is never fair.

syg, thanks for everything. i love you from the very bottom of my heart.

||.aishah.||

2008-09-13T11:57:00.002+08:00

hi..

in school now.. won't blog much.. want you all to enjoy this song. gosh. for a fifteen years old, she hot. i will kill for her look. damn.

Get Back- Demi Lovato- Official Music Video (HQ) - Demi Lovato

GET BACK

Demi Lovato

Don't walk away

Like you always do

This time

Baby you're the only thing that's been,

On my mind.

Ever since you left I've been a mess,

(You won't answer your phone)

I'll say it once,

And I'll leave you alone,

But I gotta let you know.

I wanna get back, to the old days,

When the phone would ring,

And I knew it was you.

I wanna talk back,

And get yelled at

Fight for nothing, like we used to.

Oh kiss me, like you mean it,

Like you miss me,

Cause I know that you do.

I wanna get back,

Get back,

With you.

Dont look at me that way,

I see it in your eyes.

Don't worry about me,

I've been fine,

I'm not gonna lie I've been a mess,

Since you left,

And every time I see you,

It gets more and more intense

I wanna get back, to the old days,

When the phone would ring,

And I knew it was you.

I wanna talk back,

And Get Yelled At

Fight for nothing, like we used to.

Oh kiss me, like you mean it,

Like you miss me,

Cause I know that you do.

I wanna get back,

Get back,

With you.

You were the only one I wanted.

And you were the first one I fell for

You're the only one that I've been needing,

And I don't want to be lonely anymore.

I wanna get back, to the old days,

When the phone would ring,

And I knew it was you.

I wanna talk back,

And Get Yelled At

Fight for nothing, like we used to.

Oh kiss me, like you mean it,

Like you miss me,

Cause I know that you do.

I wanna get back,

Get back,

With you.

(Get back)

Get back

(Get back)

Get back

(Get back)

Get back

(Get back)

Get back

Oh kiss me, like you mean it,

Like you miss me,

Cause I know that you do,

I wanna get back,

Get back,

I wanna get back,

Get back,

With you.

Get back, yeah, yeah, yeah

2008-09-11T13:38:00.001+08:00

okie. back to update again. stupid comp burn out on me last monday. shucks. so i have to bring my laptop to work. heavy thing, especially when you go to work, with mrt pack with inconsiderate people. haiz.

so lets see. monday went out with darling nures. pictures out. AT LAST! hahax. there is one very damn cute picture. but since there is some bloody problem with my lappy, i cant really upload it. just check out darling nures blog if u desperately want to see.

tuesday. went back to school. to return the form. forge signature for my dear mr president. dortz. hahax. i think the authorization letter should be done as soon as possible. if not i m left with forging signature.break fast with nabeel and farid at LJS commonwealth. gosh. nabeel sure can eat lots of junk food. should see the stuff he bought ah.

planning to go to school so that i can see syg for the last time before he go for his camp again. gosh. i wonder how he will look like when he come back from camp. i mean, he is already damn dark after sibu. now pulau ubin? can't wait till saturday to see.

so wednesday. came to school again. in the morning this time. hey, i got a valid reason. had some bloody photoshoot for SPINNOVEX. darn. a hour trip wasted on a 10 min photoshoot. sheesh. call that professional? i really did not expect to see syg ah. i mean, he was the one who told me that he will be leaving for ubin at 7. i arrive at 8. so highly doubtful to meet each other right?. but no. he left at 9 am. called him a few time. he off his phone. darn. have to go through timothy before getting to him. hahax. but oh well, he did called me when i was on my way to work. miss him alot.

he called me at night again. poor syg and timothy is doing the whole job by themselves. they are like cheap labours. wait. can't even call them that as they are not even being paid. hmm. free labour then. poor guys. handling food and logistic all by themselves can be quite tiring even for a camp with less than 20 campers. sound very tired when he called also, so we did not talk much.

well, yesterday, i even went out to paya lebar. things happen at home. don't even bother mentioning it. try to avoid home for the time being. at least tomorrow will be overnight-ing in school. hmm.

anyway. met zureen and noori. aw. they look so cute working at the same place together. hahax. have to remind them to go out with me and darling nures. make it a triple dates. ha.

so now, i m darn bored. work have start to pour in. can't stare at anymore paper already. brain not functioning at all. sheesh. sleepy like nobody business. have to wait for my client reply about the design before i can start on anything else.

so yep. everyone is busy except for me and pearlyn. tomorrow is off day for the both of us since the whole division is going for a retreat. hooray!

ha

cant understand why everytime i update my blog, half the stuff is about syg. he. i appear clingy, don't i. oh wtf - let me answer my own question. who give a shit about it except for me.

definitely miss him lots now.

||.aishah.||

2008-09-08T15:07:00.000+08:00

publishing post now.. hahax..

alright. he is back. but will be leaving again this wednesday. shucks. unfair sia. well, friday, met him. i literally rush down to school so as to see him ah. met him, went to imm to break fast. and half the time he was teasing me. typical shafiq. hahax.

love him so very much.

anyway, friday, had my fot meeting. as per usual, i argued with keith. always m arguing with him. can never meet eye to eye. gosh. will never work with him again. i will ended up arguing instead of working. hahax. so meeting start at 8.30 pm, end at 10 pm. gosh. arguments most of it. ha.

went to bedok after that. during the short time while waiting for the bus, i found out how much he misses me. i m telling you - nobody, not one ever behave like he does, affectionately.. the next thing i did when i reach home was to fell asleep with my work clothes still on.. hahax.

okie. saturday. nuthing much happen, well in the afternoon. but in the evening, syg came over my house. break fast together. he was from school, and he still came to yishun. gosh. 1 hr trip just to see me. i feel so touch. i wonder whether i deserve this kind of guy of not.hmm. oh. what the heck. he still "mine". ha.

so sunday, went to geylang with my family. gosh. i love the banana split there. freaking nice. you can even take away banana split. how cool is that? and its only for $4.50. damn cool. so.. we walk around. the thing i don't like about geylang is that, it is boring. the same stuff and all. no vibrancy. sheesh. but i still bought some clothes, nevertheless.

so monday. here i m on my office. bored to death. sheesh. we now waiting for quotation and design. not much work can be done till we gather all those information. hmm.. so that is why i m blogging here.

ha. and i m meeting syg and darling nures together with her babyboy. can't wait.
to darling nures - yep.. i love him so much. hahax. feel incomplete without him.

i didnt realise some people will read my blog. well- just want to say HI!! lolx. retardation distilling in my head. wow.. hahax.

going to miss him alot when he go for his next camp.

||.aishah.||

2008-09-05T11:41:00.000+08:00

HE IS RETURNING HOME TODAY!!!
AH!!!

||.aishah.||

2008-09-04T16:19:00.000+08:00

1 more day till his return. Hahax. Cant wait. 1 more day. Wish time will travel really fast. When see him, I would want to hug him so tightly as if I did not see him for more than a year. Miss him.

Hahax. So everyday I miss him. Like duh. He called me yesterday. Well, it was late, but he still made the effort of calling me. Gosh. The first call he made was bad. Cant really listen to him. Then after I called him and get through I get to hear his tired voice. Hmm. Camps. What do you expect from it right? *Giggle-giggle*. Private joke.

Well, I have been flooding his inbox. Hahax. Send him all the stuff that I have been doing. Hmm. I wonder whether he really think of me like I think of him. Never mind. I will know tomorrow.

Did some research for Gerald – my senior manager. It is good contacts actually. I guess working here allow me to know more people and have more contacts for future used.

Well. Till here then. Miss syg a lot now. 1 MORE DAY TO GO!

Cherishing him always
||.aishah.||

2008-09-03T11:41:00.000+08:00

He called me. HE CALLED ME!!! I m ecstatic. Happy. Overjoyed. Just name it. I feel like shouting my lungs out, telling the whole world that he, Muhd Shafiq, my syg, called me yesterday night. Gosh!!!

Ok. I know it is kinda, over reacted. But still… Hahax. I went to sleep quite early yesterday. I mean, usually I sleep at about 12 mn since that is the time where we tend to chat or sms each other. Well, yesterday was different I guess. I slept at about 11 pm. At about 11.40 pm, I was woken up by my phone ringing. My phone was next to my pillow. You can imagine how irritated I felt when the song ‘Sneakernight’ rang into my ear. Well, frankly I don’t know how or when I pick up and answer the phone, ‘cause the next thing I know is that someone asks me “Do you know who this is?” Initially, I just thought it was a prank. I mean, c’mon, I was half asleep, mind still thinking of the dream that I had. So I just said “Ah?” in those can’t be bothered voice. Then he repeats again the question, this time he added with a laugh. Gosh. That is when my mind became more alert. I have always love and remembered syg laughter. That is why, when I heard his laughter, I really can’t believe my ears. I kept asking him “Is this really you?” He was laughing together with someone at his place. Reception was bad though but still I get to hear his voice. AH!!!!!!!

Well, we can’t talk that long since he got some stuff to do for his group. He was somewhere in the forest, since that is the only place where there is reception. He was saying something about have to go between 2 trees to get through a phone call. Turn out he was using Amron international card to call me. His phone has no AutoRoam, so I guess he used Amron. Seriously, that was the biggest surprise I ever had. I love surprises. But to this extend is really something. I literally thought I won’t get to hear him at all until he reached Singapore. But HEY PRESTO! HE CALLED ME!! Even if it was the shortest called I ever had with him, HE STILL CALLED!! MISS SYG SO VERY MUCH!!.

Definitely lovesick now. Miss him. Miss him. Miss him. 2 more days to go before I get to see him. Yep. 2 More days. I will make sure I meet him when he reached Singapore. Maybe break fast with him or something like that. He promised he will called me tonight, so I will be waiting for his called. Definitely. AH!!!!

Ok. I think I better get down to my work again. Need to come up with new concept. Hmm. Counting down till Friday: 2 days (50 hours ++)

Loving him always and forever

||.aishah.||

2008-09-02T11:20:00.000+08:00

Okie. Back to update my blog. Currently on my office desk, feeling lethargic and hungry. Yep. I have my very own office desk. Cool isn’t it? Hahax. Love my work place. Projects streaming in already. From a five day work, it will definitely be a one whole week work. Especially since the event is like on 21 September. This Saturday already I have to go down to one of the place and check out what it’s like to recruit people. Hmm.

Anyway, syg have just left for his camp. So miserably miss him. And I just met him like at 8 in the morning today. Now I m already missing him a lot. Shucks. 4 dreadful agonizing period. Well, he did promise to wait for me when he return from camp on Friday to just see me since I will be having my meeting at night. I hope he fulfilled his promises. I wonder how darling nures have managed to endure 2 weeks without her darling. I mean, 1 week for me, I feel like committing suicide. Hers is 2 weeks! Gosh. She must be enduring and all. I think for me, I would just stare at his numerous pictures in my phone and tears will start falling on my cheeks. *sob sob*. Think I can go for audition for any soap opera? Hahax

Alright. Crapping too much already. But really I m missing him a lot. Spend time with him at town yesterday, after I end work. Such a darling he is for agreeing to spend time with me rather than going home after his pre event and spending time with his family instead. Well, we went to Burger King to break fast. My first time breaking fast with the person I loved – well, apart from my family of course.

Then we just hang around at the steps at Marina Square. Told him about my past. About JD. Yadda-yadda. I think he have the right to know – what had happen to me when I was young and all. We talk and had fun. Hmm. Lets just keep the details to me.

Well, one thing for sure I manage to spend quality time before he left for camp. During movie marathon, I get to snuggle up to him and feel the warmth of his body. (Does that seem wrong to do? Oh, what the heck!) Then we slept together. As in, on the same bean bag. Hahax. Watch stuff that I don’t really like, but then again, there is always a first time right? Dortz. So I went to tampines so that he need not need to send me home, and that I can take 969 back home, which is way faster than 854 – trust me on that.

Saturday, I met him again. He had his pre – event on LTC. Darn ITP. You know, if its not because of my nice supervisor and all, I think I would have been crying here, begging them to let me go for my camp. Forfeit my LTC for ITP. Sheesh. What’s more he will be going, and I have wanted to go since like last year. Urgh.

Anyway, back to the story. So yeah, I went to meet him in school. Wore black dress with black shoes. He claim I look like someone who just came back from funeral. Zzzzz. Hahax. Anyway, yeah, after his event thingy, he slept in my clubroom for awhile since he did not have sufficient sleep. Poor guy. Oh, it was the best nap I have ever taken. Hahax. With him by my side and all. Hehex. Okie, when we woke up, we went to Bugis, to find army market. Hahax. Wrong move. Well, we ended up not going. We went to eat murtabak at Zam Zam and then we went Parkway Parade.

I know the time we spend is quite limited. But it actually makes my heart grow even fonder for him. Only yesterday I realize that he truly love me, make me even prouder for even liking him. When he come back, I will make sure I will spend more time with him, then he can leave for his LTC camp with his club. Camps, clubs and ITP don’t go together when a relationship is involved. Everything changes when that happens. Well, I guess it is a test for the both of us. I know one thing that, what I felt for him is incomparable to all the crushes I had with past boyfriends, sum together. He is for me and only for me. LOVE YOU A LOT SYG!

ll.aishah.ll

2008-08-28T14:13:00.004+08:00

alas.

updates. hahax. okie. exam just finish yesterday. kinda relieved now. phew. 7 papers all together. and i SURVIVED!! gosh. i thought i would have died. what's more with project submission during the paper at the same time.

okie. 1st semester gone. ITP starts. then the real nightmare begin. planning for Final Year Project (FYP) have to start. i hope the idea of partnering with Shiffa will still continue. we can work so well with each other. well, i think. had fun planning my ADD with her last year. its just fun working with her. she got lots of ideas. to Shiffa - if we are still continuing to work together for our FYP, lets strive the best eh? we will do the best project ever seen by people in SP. hahax. ok. i think that is like over achieving.

waiting for syg to end his paper. today his last paper. yep. then tonight there is the movie marathon. can spend 'quality time' with him. hahax. his definition of quality time is different from mine seh. hahax. but nevertheless, love him so much.

aite. ITP is coming. shucks. Kallang. grrr. that is so far. because of this bloody ITP, i have to forgo my LTC. UNFAIR!! cant go for the camp that i have been wanting to go. last year, i was not in the council. this year, i got the bloody ITP. it is so not fair. syg is so freaking lucky to get to go, eventhough he only know about this like this year only. grrrrrrr..

ok. i think i m not making sense at all. pardon me. post-exam stress. hahax. so FOT meeting done. wait for syg. then start on my ADD meeting. after that it will be movie marathon. c'mon aishah. you can do this.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-08-09T22:38:00.002+08:00

ok..

updates again. hahax. anyway. lets start off with poly50.
so poly50 is a campus wide event. erm.. had about 166 teams participating in this event. gosh. BEC came in 35th. well, its good to them since there are like 4 smokers in the team. but it did not beat last year record which is 23rd. hahax. syg ran. did not get to watch the whole match. wen i came, it was 3 quarter through the race. well, he did his best though. he smiled even when he was tired. was practically shouting and cheering for him everytime he ran. well, i did cheered for the SDC, BEC and the lecturers from BE.

so, since the people are tired, i bought 3 1.5 litres of 100 plus. cost me about 9 bucks. gosh. i will never buy drinks from 7-11. freaking expensive eventhough they called themselves a convenience store. hung out with darling nures and putri senior after poly50. left school about 9.30 pm. syg had to stay on in school 'cause of his club talentime which was happening the very next day. so, since he can't send me home, he walk me to the mrt - despite being tired and all. gosh. syg is so shweeeeeeeet.

well, DMITC talentime then was held on thursday. went to support syg who happen to be the emcee together with his club member. gosh. never had i felt so popular. everyone in the auditorium knows me the time the event ends. thanks to some jokers. and some of this jokers include people from my club also. sheesh. well, apparently, it is from this event that i become popular among the DMIT students. well, that happen since syg was a GL for his club FOC.

then came friday. went out to eat at spaghetti too at imm together with darling nures and zureen's girlfriend, noori. had a fun time. laugh non-stop. it is like as if we took drug instead of eating pasta. hahax. lots of cam-whoring done also using my phone. hahax.

well, studied with darling nures in clubhouse first. rush through my IT project. sheesh. hate projects.. but i manage to did it. went to moberly then to study with darling and abu. at about 7, went to SAC to watch the olympic. well the main purpose of going there is to get the durian. but.... nevermind. hahax. hung out with syg for awhile. miss him so much. now that test and exam is drawing near, it will mean lesser time to spend also. if wait after exam over, it will be the start of my ITP. shucks. i hate school for that man. damn.

but nevermind i guess. at least i can save up the money and like rent car for him maybe? then can go for a spin around singapore or something. well, i can start dreaming about that already.

well. till here then. need to start on my revision for my upcoming test this thursday. shucks. hahax.

ll.aishah.ll
--loving him always--

2008-08-06T08:24:00.002+08:00

updates again. okie. i m getting the hang on updating my blog. i guess i m darn freaking bored listening to IT. doing chart using Excel. hmm. its the basic step. i bet nobody is really paying attention to the lesson. if not for the test, i think i will still be sleeping at home now.

syg send me home 2 days ago. not the normal MRT trip which i normally take. he drive me home. kinda sweet of him. at least i get to be alone with him in the car. hehex. he even went up to my house to ask my dad on how to go back to school from yishun. i m telling you, i don't think my dad will mind adopting syg as his son. he was never that nice to any of my ex-boyfriends before. sheesh. i wonder what my dad thinks about syg. hmm. oh well. at least i have gotten the approval to go out with syg. no need to hide in the dark anymore.

oh. did i tell you that my parents have been kind soul of asking syg along to have a late meal at Tanjong Pagar railway? yep. that happpen on friday, after the council bbq. hahax. i don't know like how many time syg went out with my family also. and since he was overnighting in school, my mum just gave me 10 bucks to buy additional food for the hungry people in school. hahax. well, at least they need not need to think of food since they have lots of indian rojak to go about during the night.

ok. so saturday i was suppose to watch the NDP preview. well, darling nures had a check at the clinic. at last she did that. it has been quite some time since i start nagging at her to go and visit the doctor. hmm. well, she cant go. shiffa was busy. i could like literally call my secondary school friends to go with me. but nope. i did not do that. i was in school, initially, to get the tickets from valerie. oh thanks val, for the tickets! back to the story, erm, yeah, i was in school. met syg and zureen and i had my book with me, so i don't feel like going anywhere. stayed in the clubhouse. talk to syg. oh. and i pass the tickets to amron. hahax. gosh was he happy to go for it. lets admit it. i m damn nice. hahax. self praising all over again. well, the day did not go to waste. i get to be with syg. finish my book. clean up the clubroom. yep. not wasted at all.

well, i think i better start practising my PMT and such on Excel first before i go for the darn test. ok. i have never been good in IT. always a B for that module. hmm. oh yeah, today Poly50. hope the club will do well. syg running again. a pity i wont be able to watch the start of the event 'cause of the damn test. shucks. kinda worried for him. he have been really tired with all the assignment submission and such. just hope he won't fall sick.

well. till the next entry i guess, which i don't know when will that be. ha.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-08-04T10:35:00.006+08:00

oh my gawd. at last i get to put this song on my blog.
to whoever that has been reading my blog, listen to this song. can't believe he got this kind of voice. it is so totally heavenly. must listen. have a sing-a-long session if you must. gosh. oh.

Here I Am - Paul Twohill

Here I Am
By: Paul Twohill

I’m waiting at the door like so many times before
This time, I’ll make it right
I know I need to be a different kind of me
This time, I just might
Have a little strength to show you
The reason why I’m here tonight

Here I am.
This is the moment
Here I am.
Feel the love is waiting
From now, the start of something new
My life is not complete when I’m standing
Standing close to you

I woke up in a dream.
There’s someone in between
This time, I got it right
They are still in front of you
Then I realised that my wish had just come through
This time I want my fight
This feeling may not last forever
So now I’ll brace this magic now

Here I am.
This is the moment
Here I am.
Feel the love is waiting
From now, the start of something new
My life is not complete when I’m standing
Standing close to you

I doubted my emotions.
I can pull this off and make it all away
But now I know I am stronger.
And I’ve finally feel that I am here to stay

Here I am.
This is the moment
Here I am.
Feel the love is waiting
From now, the start of something new
My life is not complete when I am standing
Standing close to you

love you always syg!

ll.aishah.ll

2008-08-01T10:28:00.002+08:00

alas. i have finish my presentation. i was in a paranoid state just now, when i wake up, as i realise my laptop crash. damn. ok fine. it did not really crash. blue screen is what i call it. i didnt know what to do. that is for sure. the presentation that i stayed up to finish have all gone. darn. thank gawd i met alex in the MRT who help me reset my setting again. THANKS ALEX!

so yeah. instead of paying attention to Logistic and Site Operation lecture (believe it so boring that you could literally fall asleep listening to it), i did my presentation. thanks to zhi li and val's research i manage to finish it on time before the cross culture lecture start. hate it when class start at 8. i ended up nodding off half way doing my presentation. shucks.

finland. yep. that is the country that i m doing for my presentation later. sign and symbols found in finland. gosh. its kinda interesting you know. i mean, do you know that bear is the king of wilderness to them? it has a sacred status but they still hunt bears down for some ritual practices. and sauna is the country symbol. long time ago, women gave birth in the sauna. i mean how weird and cool, at the same time, is that? ark. cross culture stuff hitting to my head already.

anyway, syg is so freaking nice. he been sending me home this few days. had more time to spend with him. love him lots and will definitely cherish him. no one is like him, and no one is going to take him away from me. pity him lots too. its like 1 hour trip to reach my house and another 1 hour trip from my house to his. hmm. definitely will be tired after that. totally pity him. at time i wished i stayed somewhere near him. at least it won't be that tiring to him.

everytime we went home, nures darling and her boyfrend, faroq, are always together with us. hehex. left clubhouse at 7. took the mrt at 8.30. hahax. talk at the staircase and such. at least get to spend time with him. nures darling, have been such a darling, listening to all my problems and woes about club stuff and such. i think, without her, shiffa, nabeel and syg, i will have breakdown and give up everything. a high possibility of quiting school also. THANKS YA ALL!!

damn ITP. its because of the ITP i did not get to go for my LTC. and i paid a freaking $100 already!! there goes my trip to Pulau Sibu. shucks. and i also cant help out in F1 race. haiz. well, looking at the good side, i m attached to People Association. i dont know if that is good news, but my parents were happy for me with the attachment. said that i will have a better prospect to get a job in near future. i hope whatever they say is true.

so, since holiday is filled with ITP, it will mean lesser time to spend with him. what's more, the first day of fasting month is the first day of work. this will also mean that i will ahve lesser time to go out and celebrate raya. another shucks. haiz. how i wished my ITP is in February. i mean, there is nothing else for me to concentrate in February since ADD will be done latest in January. and the only event that has been held in march is only the FOC, which, is not to of my advantage since i won't be the one planning that event. unlike last year. i guess i can assist the year 1 in the planning. totally afraid for them. i mean, they can plan well, but when it come to executing, it is a so different story. well, i guess we have to wait and see i guess.

well, that's all i guess. my presentation coming up already. concentrate on it. then later can go home and sleep. deprivation of sleep makes one cranky. ah!

ll.aishah.ll

2008-07-30T08:19:00.002+08:00

i'm dead tired this few weeks. i guess the exam mood have start hitting me and thus make me study even more. its during this few weeks that i realise how way behind time i m in term of my revision. shucks. and here i m hoping to obtain at least a GPA of 3.4 this semester. totally screwed man.

realisation. the club. dissapointment in some people if you ask me. won't mention names. let it be kept within my thought and a few trusted friend of mine. well, i guess we just have to give time for it to get worst and see if Abu realise it before it happen. sorry Abu for this very 'kind' act.

its time for me and some of the committee who been with the club for 2 years to step back and not teach everything we know. i mean, for gawd sake, i learn all the stuff by myself. it is like so totally unfair that i learn everything by myself while the others just want to be fed with the hard work i put int. gosh. no justice at all. ok fine. i m cranky now. talk too much rubbish already.

insufficient of sleeps. wish everyday is a saturday. can sleep in. sheesh. but i guess it is partly my fault also. i mean, class start at 11am but i m already in school studying at 9am. but then again, lots of tutorial been coming in, so it means more time need to be spend right? hmm. frankly i don't know what the hell i m talking about.

IT application for Event II used to be so dry that i skip most of it lesson. back then, i learn microsoft access and it does not make sense at all. practically sleep in class. but now that i m studying how to use excel, it make me look forward to come to class. well, all except that it is a 8am class, thus the reason why i m blogging now. too tired and sleepy. had fever the whole night. and since i have known how to use the chart wizard from excel, i don't feel lost in whatever the lecturer is talking about. so now, i update my blog before many start scolding me about updating. then i will just sleep in class.

miss syg so much. he been so busy with his stuff, and i m so busy with my revision and tutorial. it seems difficult to just spend time with him. shucks. to just say hi, we have to sneak up during the busy time. a very short time spend. usually at night, we will talk to each other for hours before sleeping. but now, everytime i reach home, i will just crash to my bed, and merely sms-ing him good night. dead tired. miss spending time with him. will definitly spend most of my time with him once the exam is over which is like in one month. urgh!.

well then, that is all. time to sleep in class. hahax. oh. i m so addicted to vanessa's song, vulnerable. oh my gosh. stop it aishah!!

ll.aishah.ll

2008-07-29T09:05:00.003+08:00

alright. i revamp my whole blog. yet again. hahax. instead of updating my post i changing the blog skin. hahax. and it is not me. i mean, everyone knows me as the girl who love blue, not into girly stuff and such. hahax. well, this blog skin really capture my attention. oh. do check out the song i put on my blog. awesome song by an awesome singer. yeah. vanessa hudgens album is at last out. love the song lots. well thats all. till next updates.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-07-26T14:27:00.005+08:00

ever wish you could stop time and do whatever you want before continuing with the hectic life that you face? yep. that is exactly what i wish i could do. just like hiro from "heroes" the series. ok fine. definitely cool especially since life is predictably hectic now.

sorry to all who been waiting for me to update my blog. busy busy. i could not even be bothered to switch on my laptop. such a waste of time and electricity consumption. but now, i have to do so thanks to the piles of assignment on my desk.

events after events have been going on. thanks gawd AGM is over and done with. the most prestigious and important event for BEC. response was totally awesome. did not really expect a great turn out. thx to all who made the effort to come down. special thanks to scott, rong fa and gang - they came down to the event eventhough i told scott the morning of the event. hahax..

right. so AGM over. the next big thing will be FOT. the FOC committee are coming back together again. alas!. miss them alot. all those laughter and scolding and such. we are back again. wondering what post i will get this time.

when that is over, ADD will be the main attention. gosh 25 tables?. how are we going to get that number of people. crazy school. then still have to coordinate with the yearbook committee. i hope my committee won't be a dissapointment. last year committee was awesome. what's more it was all year one. we did a splendid job on the event though. well, definitely a high expectation is set upon this year committee. what's more, the school management committee are involved together. it will definitely mean more budget, but also lots of restriction. that is definitely for sure since the committee is like full of out-fashion staffs who only want to do stuff traditionally. zzz.

lets face it. BE DAY was a not so succesful event in my opinion. sorry guys. i thought you will be better than our year in term of executing. but nope. totally dissapointed. where is the respect that you should give to your client?. ok. no use trashing it out now since the event is long over. i really hope they learn their lesson 'coz if they were to bring it to the corporate world, they are sure going to be blacklisted. trust me on that.

syg have been very patience with my mood swing. gosh. the time with him is so short that at time i wish i had nothing to do but be with him all the time. well, now that he is over with his assignment, hope to spend more time before the exam period come.

yep. exam is around the corner again. been having sleepless night just so that i can finish my tutorial time. then i could concentrate on my studies during the study period. why cant they like introduce study break like back in secondary school, when you have a study break before your Olevel. i really wish i had that time again. at least i need not need to wake up early in the morning to avoid the morning rush in the mrt.

ok. council fiesta was nice. like the food. wish syg was there. he can then eat the cream puff. hmm. zaid, council chairperson is totally a retard. fancy pulling my hair and mess it around just because i call him gay boy. sheesh. not gentleman at all.. hahax.

now that i m talking about council. i realise one thing. never argue with CLS and SMA club president. after one point is settled, they found another point to argue about.well, i argued 'coz i don't find the need of having the three sport competition. i still remember the fights that were involved last year. didn't want history to repeat all over again. but guess they outbit me in the argument. shucks. hahax.

well. i will stop here. don't bank on getting to read more of my post. i doubt i have the time to even update now. will try to do so, maybe like once in every 2 weeks?hahax.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-06-05T10:53:00.002+08:00

ok.. you may want to kill me for not updating for so long. what can you expect when i am such a busy person right?. hahax. not forgetting, my laptop is like currently useless - not able to use at home for now. have to get that problem fxed soon before i go nuts not being able to surf the net. now is like the only rare opportunity where i can actually use the home computer without someone breathing down my neck,

right. so what has been happening. hmm.. lots of things actually. the formation of the new committee. BE BBQ. the fights. the outings. the MST. i was really hoping i m done with MST but turn out, i got my GEMS test when school reopen. gosh. and my GEMS is the most boring GEMS that i have ever taken. Microbes and diseases. i don't understand what the heck it is about. there are like 7 lesson. went for 5 and still i don't know what the heck the lecturer is talking about. gosh.

the new MC committee have been formed. yep. i m again the secretary. hahax. it is something that i m comfortable with. something easy. something that i know. ok. nevermind. i won't go into details about this. but to the whole committee, congrats to you guys. hope to be working well with all of you.

BE BBQ was cool. i get to spend the whole night with my darling. the best night ever. hahax. love him so much.

ok. can't update much. i m too sleepy to think already. shucks. and i can't even go to school since i have to take care of my lil' bro. shucks.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-04-26T11:09:00.002+08:00

so here i m. after 5 gours of sleep, all cranky and hungry updating my blog. ha. alright. nothing much has yet to happen in my life. NOT. hahax.

thursday the gang came over my house. ok. not gang. its the BE people. and that is not even half of the people i know. my parents was like really surprise the number of malay people i know is like really alot compare to primary and secodary school add up. ah.
so he came over my house. yep. together with the rest. my mom cook for them. ok. so my parents saw him. i should not think there will be much of a problem about going out with him already. maybe at most they just expect him to send me home. loved it when my parents know who is who cause it will mean i can go out easily with them without my parents questioning who i m going out with. can be quite irritating actually when it happen.

so thursday they came over. friday we went MOS. i was really hoping to get into it and see how a pub look like. i mean, the only club i ever went into is The ArenaLive and that was in the morning. no fun. so eager and all after all the interview, i went to MOS with my Nures, Farouq, Nabeel and some of the BEC people. we were separated for awhile from nabeel's group. i was with gideon waiting for farouq and nures. well, the queue was freaking long. really really long. trust me on that. the four of us did not make it in. at the entrance, guess who we saw?. yep. he was there. HIM!!. as per usual. i was grining from ear to ear. hahax. it is always nice when i get to see him. so we did not go clubbing which i hope to. we ended up hanging out at LJS at City Hall. ate dinner for a while. then went to esplanade to meet Farhan and all. it may be a simple night, frankly speaking but it was the best night i ever had. when nabeel and the gang was done at MOS, we met up at esplanade and went to marina square. slack again there. bored, we ended up deciding to watch midnight movie. but the show was not much. so we went to play bowling. really had fun. kinda sleepy though. i ended up resting on his shoulders everytime i want to sleep. laugh the whole night. me, him, feroz and putri went home at about 4 am, thus the lethargic feeling right now.

being with him is all i want yesterday. he was a comfort. he could easily go home with his club people and make it for today driving lesson. but he join us for the bowling and all. he is so sweet. really love him. don't know what i will do without him. thanks shafiq for being with me the whole time.

so yea. i had a fun night. erm. frankly i don't know what i m talking about here. oh screw all this. i should still be in bed sleeping now. not here blogging. dangs

ll.aishah.ll

2008-04-22T02:00:00.002+08:00

omg. it has been such a long time since i blog. hehex. in like 3 more days it will be exactly 1 month since i last blog. well, don't expect much updates until i can get that freaking laptop fixed and i m not too busy destroying my life.

so yep. all the events that i was involved are finally done. all with major success. three cheers for the batch of 07/08. we rawkz. c'mon. don't deny it. we made your day much better after all the activities, right?. hahax. from enrolment to preparation camp to FOC to FOP to school starts again. hmm. those were the craziest moment. all the paperwork rushing needing to be done. damn.hated that moment. every night i will keep thinking to myself whether i have done all the necessary paperwork.

yep. event major success. so for now, don't even ask me to plan. taking a serious long break. and i really mean it this time. true it is fun planning the event and all. but still you have to pity this poor distorted girl who is in need of lots of rest right?. hahax. ok. fine not exactly over. i still have to see through the BE Day, plan by the yr 1 DEPM students. GO DEPM!. its either you do better than us for your event experience or you be living in a miserable school life for the next 3 yrs. trust me, it won't be your lecturers doing it.

hmm. what the hell am i blabbering about. ok. i m in serious need of sleep.

ok. it is only the 2nd week of school and i m like freaking sick. i don't have much energy to move as enthusiastically as i use to. i mean, i look forward to going to school, but i dread the trip and the walking and all. my energy level is sap up so fast that by the time lessons end, i was ready to kill myself. it is really that bad. urgh.

so sunday went for my checkup. freaking check-up. i hate it so much. now i m scared wits of myself. for the first time, since i heard off my illness, i m actually scared. i don't dare to admit to anyone as i don't want others to worry about me. but this feeling is so hard to avoid. so what i do to try to forget about it? i revise my modules. yep. i m actually revising. now i can like answer the question of my tutorials. hate check-ups.

he been sweet to me. really. though there are things that i m left confused. hmm. guess things takes time. but he is sweet. and funny. and adorable. and cute. and the list goes on. hahax.

gosh. school is such a darn thing now. lecture is freaking long. but i love my timetable. except i don't understand why lesson is from 8 to 6 now. are they out to kill us? not that i have lessons from 8 to 6 also. hahax.

alright i think i better sleep now. ending my entry soon. don't miss me to much.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-03-25T13:45:00.006+08:00

yep..

my 18th birthday was the best birthday celebration i ever had. thanks to all my friends, who surprised me (and it really does surprise me) even days after my birthday (ok, only like 2 days after my birthday). well, let me start talking about my birthday celebration before i go on ranting about FOP.

so i was suppose to meet xavier, farhan and shiffa at tampines on sunday. ama couldnt make it. well, was really hoping for her to come. hahax. i mean, me, ama and shiffa seem inseparables. well, i thought i was late. but nope. apparently skye and regi were coming along. so they came later then us. well, when i reach tampines i saw xavier with kiat hua and shu min. i really fell for their lie. kiat hua and shu min said that they were going to meet someone then happen to see xavier, and then decided to go along with us to ikea. gosh. i really can't believe i fell for it. can't blame me though, shu min and kiat hua start to be really comfortable in the club only recently. gosh.

so the six of us went to ikea. hahax. frankly, i was in the camp mood already. i kept singing camp song - whatever that came popping into my head. gosh. well, had lunch there while waiting for shiffa. hmm. so off we went shopping for furniture for the club.

seriously, we look like we are shopping for our home. if only all of us stay under one roof. gosh. that will be so freaking awesome. hahax.

well then. at one point skye asked which box looked nice. he claimed that it was meant for his hamster. gosh. i was like. hmm. ok. to the extend of buying it for his hamster, he must really love them so much. ok. then he pass to me the box he was going to buy. well, i was carrying it all the way. it was kinda heavy for an empty box, but nothing came into my mind to tell me to peek at it or something. i just thought the box must have some stuff inside that skye took and want to pay for it. gosh. and so, at the kitchen utensil area, i took photo together with the box.

gosh. i really can't believe i m that dumb. not to even notice anything. hahax. so skye ask me to open it. and to my great surprise.

in the very box lay my a bag of the body shop bag with a card popping out of it. it was my birthday present. not only that, the card was like in a magazine form with my pictures on it. well, through it was distorted but it was freaking nice. gosh. skye is the best picture editor ever.
the group even sang me a birthday song in ikea. gosh. birthday celebration in ikea is something no one ever had before. it maybe weird. i mean, the atmospheric is wrong and all but it was the most memorable of all. curious shoppers were looking at us. but couldn't be bothered. what my friend here had done was the sweetest thing ever. i will definitely remember my 18th birthday. it was the best birthday of all. 18th BIRTHDAY @ IKEA. hahax.

took some random pictures while shopping at ikea.

hahax. met up with farhan when paying. went to Court to buy printer and a radio. ooh. new printer on the way. hahax. ok.

so separated from shiffa and farhan. went to acm after that. did not manage to go in as it was 7 already so the exhibition ended. gosh. a pity. but we did some cam whoring though.

hehex. proofs that we indeed went to acm. lolx.

went to lau par sat to eat after that. satay was great. seriously. hahax.
the pictures for sunday event can be found on skye blog actually.

http://www.zukami.blogspot.com/

well, the next day went back to school to do the banking in for FOC. hmm. lots of campers very little helpers. but nevermind. i got this feeling we have hell lots of fun. provided i don't get last minute stuff. gosh. last minute things can really make me grouchy. sheesh. made me sleep late and wake up early just for it.
went to NUH to get some first aid stuff. ama gave me a blue rose and a box of merci chocolate! you are the best ama!. they are my favourite things!.

ok. had meeting. abu kept reminding me that i have like one month to get a boyfriend if not i have to treat him. urgh!!. why did i even bet with him. sheesh. one month? how was i to find one?. i don't even know how to tell him my feeling, now i have to get him be my boyfriend?. shucks. this is more difficult then coordinating for the camp. nevermind, i will just pretend to forget about it. lolx.

ok so now. fop. what about it?. it was great fun. seriously. well, except for the first day. i was grouchy like hell. mt night did not go smoothly yada-yada. guess lack of sleep did that. haiz. whats more, even my itinerary was a last minute things. my fault. my fault. ok. now i better start settling the itinerary stuff first then.

2nd day was fun. everyone mood raise to a good bar. i love sing-a-long session. always look forward to it. but this time, everything run smoothly as everyone followed the itinerary. that was a good thing, i guess.

well. can't say much actually here online. freshies have been reading our blogs and all. so to keep our activities for FOC a secret, we can't spill much online. hmm.

anyway. to all those who wishes me, gave me present for my birthday - thank you all. it was because of you that my 18 th birthday was the best birthday i ever had. THANKS YA ALL.

to the BE FOC 0809 OCS. c'mon. a few more days to go to the actual thing. WE CAN DO IT.
to all those helping out to make this event a successful one, just remember one thing.

BE SPIRIT - EVERLASTING!

2008-03-16T11:39:00.001+08:00

FOP DAY 0...

AH!!!

what the heck am i still doing at my work place!!!

ll.aishah.ll

2008-03-15T23:56:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHOEBE!! MAY ALL YOUR DREAM AND WISHES COME TRUE!

ok. this is definitely unfair. here i m slugging my ass off doing the itinerary finalization for FOP and there, somewhere in town, my friends celebrating phoe birthday. this is SO UNFAIR. urgh. dad new rule - out today, tomorrow stay at home. who in the world create this rule?. and i m missing one of my close friend birthday!!. where is the justice. hate everything that has been happening.

so definitely not talking to him now. i m seriously wondering when he will just give in to me and start talking to me like father-and-daughter. not like enemy-meet-enemy. i have been giving in too much. now is my turn. can't be bothered how long it will take. at the very least, i can talk to my mom. at least she understand what i m doing - well, other than her nagging and all of course.

so currently i m blasting my radio loudly while typing a new itinerary. just something to annoyed my dad. ha. he have never been approved of me liking english songs. saying that i will definitely turn into an english person. can u believe that?. hahax. sometime it is just so hilarious off what conservative people think. i mean, i still can remember my dad scolding me when i sat next to my boyfriend. he claim we should sit like at least one meter away. believe it or not, i got lecture and a heaty argument on this thing. i mean - for gawd sake, he is my bloody boyfriend. and he was the one who ask me to bring my boyfriend home. gosh - understanding them is one thing, tolerating them is hell.

so yeah. tomorrow is the start of my camp. DAY 0 of FOP. i just hope whatever i have proposed to the OCs is accepted. hmm. i think that is our only way. haiz.

paperwork. meeting minutes finally done!! send to cynthia ang. gosh, she was really surprised with the thickness and the efficiency of my work. hahax. i m proud of myself. gosh. i guess one sleepless night doing that bloody thing sure deserve some praises right?.

well, gotten the money for furniture and maintenance secretariat of the club. yesh. it is S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G T-I-M-E. well, for the beneficial of the club. gosh.

so now, SAA have send in a notice that the 1st week of april they will send to all the clubs the nomination paper for the MCs of academic year 0809. hmm. and he - as in that guy piss me till today - have already planned for it. gosh, i m so not going to be in the MCs if he is in it. not like as if my spot is guaranteed or anything. i mean, during the result, they will definitely announced the president spot first - like duh!. so if he get it or even stuck as v-president, i m definitely out of the club. i will be an active member in SPAC2GO. i won't mind. i don't think the MCs for SPAC2GO mind also. i can even volunteer to help them - without asking, which they normally have to do. ha.

well, apart from scolding myself, my dad and him, i have been - yet again- giggling. gosh. everytime i just feel like bursting, i take out my handphone, when to my picture folder, click the button, and there he is. his picture. then i will start remembering the talk we had yesterday. gawd. how i wish i have a reason to message him. it really driving me nuts. definitely driving me. urgh. ok. fine. i m so gonna find him during enrolment on monday - since BE is sharing with SMIT and SD. hmm. if it is not for the camp, i don't mind staying till late night during enrolment. shucks. but then again, i m literally staying overnight for the camp. ok.what the heck am i talking about?

lol.

anyway. i fine this song really interesting. it is by miley cyrus. kinda thoughtful, meaningful and nice.

True Friends
Miley Cyrus

[VERSE 1]
We sign our cards and letters BFF
You've got a million ways to make me laugh
You're lookin' out for me; you've got my back
It's so good to have you around

You know the secrets I could never tell
And when I'm quiet you break through my shell
Don't feel the need to do a rebel yell
Cause you keep my feet on the ground

[CHORUS 1]
You're a true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me aside
When something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
'Til it's alright again
You're a true friend

[VERSE 2]
You don't get angry when I change the plans
Somehow you're never out of second chances
Won't say "I told you" when I'm wrong again
I'm so lucky that I've found

[CHORUS 2]
A true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me aside
When something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
'Til it's alright again

[BRIDGE]
True friends will go to the ends of the earth
Till they find the thing you need
Friends hang on through the ups and the downs
Cause they've got someone to believe in

[CHORUS 3]
A true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me aside
When something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
No need to pretend
You're a true friend
You're here till the end
Pull me aside
When something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
'Til it's alright again
You're a true friend [3x]

well, i guess this song will have to go out to those who have been with me through thick and thin. no need to mention who, as they will know themselves. yep.

well then, off to finish my work.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-03-14T23:30:00.004+08:00

ok. he is witty. funny. not that very good looking to some. but i find him exactly how i picture in a guy for my life. ok. not the look. hahax. if looks, i will expect something like orlando bloom kind which definitely be a dream. but he can make me laugh. he was nice. he respect me. he is fun. just laugh it whenever he is nearby. i will just go giggly. felt retarded - but yeah. then when i see he is plain bored, i just pluck up my courage and went up to talk to him. we talk the thing that is coming up soon. CAMPS. i accidentally snap a picture of him while talking to the rest of the OCs just now. seriously, it is accidentally. i did not notice my handphone was unlock. i literally press the camera button and snap a picture of him. really. it wasn't a nice picture, since i never realise it but still, i have his picture. hahax. now i m just going to look at his picture during the camp. lolx.

definitely retarded. i need to go mental hospital. shucks.

right. so enrolment has started. BE was today. freshies are definitely insane - swear to you on that. i mean, nuts. like this guy, he sign up 3 camps. now he don't know which not to go. hahax. persuading the people to go for camp was definitely fun. 95% of those i talk to actually sign up for the camp. ha. say that i m good, 'coz i am good. lol.

ok. now i want to sleep. deprivation of sleep due to the bloody meeting minutes really making me talk crap. hmm. guess i should press the orange button.

like now

ll.aishah.ll

2008-03-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

guess what?. i am anything but excited for the camp. not that i have any hatred for any FO OCs. definitely not. but thanks to one fucking idiot senior, i m afraid i won't be able to enjoy my time with my juniors during camps. thanks for the beautiful fingers pointing ay?. it really is a pleasure. NOT.

urgh. i don't even know why i allow him to make me get angry. he is nothing. a piece of dirt who wish to control everything. ok fine. not everything. but most of the thing. fancy of becoming the president ?. dream of it. you become one, i will make sure i m the first one to get out of the club. the hell with the club if you are there. not worth of any of my supports. sheesh.

ok. frankly i was kinda looking forward to the camp. i mean. Freshmen Orientation Camp?. how can you not look forward to it?. it is the moment of torturing. lol. fine. i won't torture. but this year is definitely into changes. yep. the freshmen of 0708 is so gonna rawks all the freshmen of 0809 ass.they will definitely be in the best camp ever. hahax. ok. exaggerating. hehex. wth.

anyway. adonis will be in sp too.. yipee. my godson in my sp. whats more, in sd. something to even look forward to. will be seeing some familiar faces around i guess. hmm. but i hope not to many familiar faces.
well, will be watching the leap years with him. hahax. the movie that i have been waiting to watch. thanks adonis for going with me! =P

right. so have been having lots of overnights in school. hmm. now that enrolment is rolling in real fast, followed by the prep camp, i guess we don't have much time to lose. shucks. and i still have not gotten the stuff ready on my part. okie. really in need of some people help.

need to print meeting minutes and letter of apology. hell lots of work man. why is the club printer out of ink???. urgh. now i have to find a place where i can print with the letterhead with me.

2008-03-08T00:18:00.002+08:00

so.. i guess i better update moi blog before people start killing me for collecting spiderweb. hahax. can't blame them for that. i make them update their blog, while i did not update mine. lol

been a darn hectic week. my body is all soar now. if i m not at work, i will be in school doing club stuff. how busy can i be?. very. now that the enrolment period is drawing even nearer (from 13 march to 19 march), it will be darn hectic for the FO committee. FOP is like in a week time. 8 days to be exact from today. hmm. i m not really looking forward to it actually. don't know why. i guess the tiredness from all the commitment is really hitting me now. hmm.

ok. fine. to be fair, i took 2 days off - thanks to my partner who was sick on the day. well, without partner, you can't work. in my job scope you need to be with your partner at all time. lol. so what did i ended up doing during my free time?. i watch movie online. hahax. it seem to me like it is going to be my hobby now - watching movies online. dortz to me. i watch various movies. movies that have not been shown in singapore cinemas to movies that have been around for quite some time to movies that are pretty darn old. well, i think Titanic is pretty old now. hahax. yep. i m watching Titanic all over again. don't blame me, but when it come to romantic movies, i just am hooked to it. what's more, leonardo is still young and hot and cool and macho. hahax. sometime i just wish he had stayed in singapore or something like that - get a glimpse of him, and i will be happy for the rest of my life. lets admit it, he is a heart throb. totally. well, apart from orlando bloom of course. ok. aishah, SNAP OUT OF THIS.

so yeah. i watched Titanic. cried as per usual. i realize something - whenever the hero dies it is usually leo that is acting. lets face it - he died in Titanic, Romeo + Juliet (well, i think so), The Departed and the best of all Blood Diamond. hmm. every time i watch him die (as in the movie), tears just start sprinkling down my cheeks. feel so dumb now for doing so. sheesh.

well, many things had happened during this past few days. HSBC golf tournament. the best of all. it was pretty fun taking care of the stall and all. did chipping, hospitality, registration and golf stimulator. learn lots of things. meet new people. from the 'ang-moh' to the koreans to the japanese. try doing at registration. gosh. half the time, i have to strain my ears to listen to the pronunciation of the koreans. their l sound like r. their @ sound like hat. hahax. good experience though. well, except for the time when some old man (not exactly old actually - about 30 to 50 i guess?) start flirting. hahax. asking out for dinner, getting a kiss if they win the longest putting competition. kinda embarrassing though.

well. now that camp is drawing near, the FO OCs are in frantic mood. well, i don't know about the others, but i am. hahax. everything need to be settled. the everything referring to all the paperworks - the booking. the memo. the advancement. the proposal. the quotation. remind me again, why am i doing this again? hmm. oh, i volunteer to do them since i have the template. lol.

on top of this, people been asking me to go for the presidency post of BE club. well, frankly, i don't think i am cut up for presidency. too much responsibility. i m so comfortable with the post i am in that i do not want to change. that is provided shiffa stay (you reading this i hope, shiffa). or maybe someone i m close to be in the committee. well, i know practically how to do every paperwork of the club. its kinda fun doing them actually. the only thing is that to go for LTC (leadership training camp), you will have to be either president or v-president of the club. i guess i will miss that. yet again. a pity. i mean, the activities are like darn cool. i envied those who went for it. definitely something you will remember.

have to thank ter, jon, kesh and phoe for forcing me out yesterday. hahax. even if it is for dinner at funan it mall. if not for that, i think i will just be rotting here at home with my laptop on and book on my lap. oh. not forgetting chocolate next to me, with lime drinks top with lots of ice and a small umbrella. ok. not the umbrella. but the rest is there. so you can say, i have become a book addict - cum- movie addict - cum - junk food addicts. thanks again guys. laugh my lungs out whenever i am with you guys. ooh. i want the pictures that we took. it was kinda cool. we should have more outings actually, especially since everyone is having holidays now. but i guess my time management is bad. sigh. thanks for the threat!.

now we definitely will be separated to different school. frankly, i can't believe we manage to sustain our friendship this long. hahax. others complaint to me that their friendship just fall out when they enter to different school. but not us. definitely proud of that. we have went way back in OPSS. i still remember the 'hindustani stunt' - jon not giving my wallet and i have to chase him around the canteen. hahax. how old were we?. 16?. hahax. we are still as childish as ever now. hehex

well. i am yawning countless of time now. my eyes are all watery. have not wash my face to sleep. sheesh. i guess i better press that 'publish post' button now.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-02-27T12:05:00.002+08:00

alright. i am all light-headed and all after seeing my result. yep. it is the result day. the sickening day where every single SP student await to see if they did well for their examination or not. hehex. and i did pretty well especially for this semester.

a pity my last semester was horrendous. if not, i will have gotten better result. tsk. well 3 As, 3 Bs and 1 Cs really do make my day. ah. i m so proud of my economics. an A. yep. the mark that i wanted. the other 2 As goes to ideas and GEMs. well they are easy to score so an A is pretty much there already. gotten B for PM, EMC (a B+, by the way) and AVS. C as you all know, AutoCadd. Can't blame on that. i never really finish drawing the darn thing. ha.

so i have gotten a GPA of 3.4 for this semester alone. a pity, the highest credit point for my modules are like 4. so if you want to get a 3.5 and above, you will have to get at least a B+ for all your modules. accumulative, i got like 3. hahax. at last i met my target of getting a GPA of 3.

i envied those who can easily secured a GPA of 3.7 from other course. i mean, how in the world do they do that? i studied my butts of, but only obtain this much. hmm. i guess credits do play apart. urgh. i just hope, by the time i graduate, i will get at least a GPA of 3.3 so as to get a place in the local university (NUS, i have been hoping). hmm. a long and hard way to go i guess. but never mind. i did well this time. yeap.

well. yesterday, went back to school again. should see me and shiffa rushing through the administration stuff for add. oh you know, the advancement settlement and reimbursement. yep. its all done. thanks to the both of us. hahax. we scurried through our stuff, arranging all the things needed and all. we'll be going back to school to settle the carried forward budget, proposal for furniture and stationeries (is that the right spelling? oh what the heck.) and we will be all done. then i will just have to wait for all the meeting minutes to be submitted to me. photocopy 2 more copies, then i will be all done for financial closing. i can then help shiffa, who look like she will need help for the treasury stuff. hahax.

ooh. i m so darn proud of myself. i had actually applied working part time 7-11. well, the pay is little - $3.50 per hour, but the shop is like so near to my house. a 5 minutes walk only. i could even work night shift for them, since i m used to staying awake the whole night till the next morning. all i need is caffeine in front of me to keep me awake. ok - since i m not allowed to drink coffee anymore, then chocolates perhaps?. or maybe a companion to talk too so i won't get bored and fall asleep. hahax. or maybe. just maybe, i bring my laptop there and watch movie. ooh. that should be it. lolx

so yep. tomorrow will be down for the HSBC golf tournament. will be helping out there. oh my gosh, i will be meeting famous female golfers. just can't wait. and i will get to earn $100, which this money will be used to pay something - darn.

okie, i m going giggly and all. he is coming back from camp also, which mean, seeing him online. dortz. hahax.

i can't wait to hear your voice.
the soothing voice you have.
everytime, you called, i have always the hardest time to put it down.
why is that so?

ll.aishah.ll

2008-02-25T22:30:00.002+08:00

just give me one more month of all this thinking i have to do right now and i will ended up straight in IMH. urgh. this is really frustrating.i thought when ADD is over, i could relax a bit before the next event which is FOC. apparently not. damnation to everything.

well, now that ADD is over, i have to rush up on the advancement settlement and also the balance amount of ticket to be bank-in. sheesh. if only some people pay up the tickets on time. but no. they have to wait for their pay day before able to pay. gosh. who does he take us for? urgh. frustrating. infuriating.

and there is the financial closing for all the clubs in SP. i have to submit in 2 meeting minutes for every meeting held. but then, people have not even gave to me their letter of apology. can some kind soul kindly tell me now, how do i submit this meeting minutes when they have no send in letter of apology?.

then, his face kept popping into my head. i kept remembering of how we disturb each other. calling names. right now he is in camp. but why in the world i feel like i m a lonely soul here at home, when he is not online to chat with me? why do i keep smiling, remembering the picture we took together on our lastest event?. why is that so?. c'mon aishah - you should not be falling for him all over again. what the heck is wrong with you? he is going off real soon. you should stop this freaking feeling of yours to save yourself from any more devastation and heartbroken. SNAP OUT OF IT AISHAH.

then, there is this freaking problem between me and my parents. apparently, we are not talking to each other - eversince the fight in the morning of ADD. they really do know how to spoil the mood of someone who is anxious over the event. did they feel guilty about it?. no. they are not. they even told my sister i deserved it. what the heck?. fine. if that is the case, then i will not bother them anymore. eversince i returned home from ADD, i did not acknowledged my parents. never even talk to them. then yesterday, suppose to go for the Air Show, the one that i have a waited for for quite some time - i missed it. i was still darn mad at them. as early as 7 am, they shake me off my bed, literally shouting in my ears to get ready. what is with that attitude?. well, as i was still tiny-weeny bit angry with them about the fight, i just ignored them, though i know what i m going to do. well, they didn't get it. again, me and my dad quarrelled in the early morning. hurt and apparently angry, i grab my keys, cap, wallet, handphone and ez-link card, i left my home. well, only for awhile - until they leave the house. i couldn't possibly go anywhere with my shorts on, un-comb hair, not yet wash face. urgh. disgusting. well, i m still angry with them, and it looks like they just won't admit their mistake.

and there is david. who is leaving singapore in like 2 freaking week to study in london. and he only told me just now. only today!! he got the confirmation on going to london to study 2 months ago, and only today he told me. fine. you don't remember me right david? i will just pretend you never exist. i will let aunt sue irritate you like hell to get married. i can't possibly be bothered by you anymore. hfmph.

ok. what other things am i thinking off?. oh yeah. my darn laptop. my bro scratch my laptop, and now it look ghastly. urgh.

fine. i definitely miss him alot. and his camp is like only in singapore. gosh. why am i falling for him again?. this can't be happening again. of all the time and people.

ok. i m really going mental. just thinking of all this thing is so infuriating, that i just stop whatever i was doing, dash to yishun park, and shout my lungs out. it is a wonder that my lungs is still in my body. i thought it will just plunge out.

i know it is impossible.
this feeling should not have happen again.
i can't tell anyone who you are.
it is something i need to keep to myself.
but i just can't seem to tolerate anymore.

part of me want to make you realize my existence.
my longing for you.
the other part of me just which this feeling never occurred
so that nobody could get hurt.
why must it be you again?

ll.aishah.ll

2008-02-24T18:10:00.003+08:00

i was just minding my own business, alone in my room, doing some stuff regarding ADD. then it came smack into my head. the year 3 are leaving. they are freaking leaving soon. no no. they can't leave. they were the one that have helped me where i m now. people like xiao yan, belinda, anna, jerelyn and farhan. they can't leave. gosh. overly dramatic. hahax.

i never did realized that time sure fly past real fast. in approximately 2 month, school term would have start and the year 3 are going to be graduated. why suddenly the school feel out of place without them, i m not sure. i actually wanted to plan ADD as i want the senior to have a memorable time on their last event before graduation. i thought i was prepared to see them go. apparently not.

it was the year 3 that have been my backbone all the time i became the secretary of the club and event holder for ADD 07/08. without the year 3, i will be lost. really lost. i will miss calling up farhan to come down to club house to get some documentation signed. i will miss jerelyn calling me up asking about the progress on ADD. i will miss xiao yan and belinda asking me, whenever we met each other in school, about the club progression. i will miss the farhan advise on how to go about doing club stuff. i will miss all these minor things. they were the one that made me want to continue being in the club.

the year 3 were like brothers and sisters to me. it has always been the case where the batch 2 year senior of me to be very close to my heart. just like in secondary school. people like vimal, nadine, yen tze and kahing. they somehow create a big impact to my heart. i have always respected these seniors of mine. they think like our batch. act like our batch. crazy like our batch. hahax.

well. i m going to repeat this again. i will miss the year 3, definitely. they are cool bunch of people. really cool. you want to do something crazy? well ask them to do it with you. they won't say no - well most of the time.

hahax. i guess i m just being emotional. well, to the year 3s - just trust in our batch ay?. we will make sure we will carry on the legacy that you have pass down.

to farhan - well, i know i kept saying that i won't miss ya at all when you graduate. actually you will be the one i miss the most. gosh. you were there listening to all my cries and woes. advising me. ensuring my safety and health. i remembered the time when i was really sick and did not attend the MC meeting. you actually ask around people to go with you to visit me at home - according to the source i heard from. i m so honoured and touched by that. i will miss irritating you to come down from your studio to the clubhouse just to sign some proposal. lol. i will even miss you singing. you better sing for us one last time. hahax. despite your hectic schedule you even help us out in ADD. well, i know you will say, it is the job of the president to worry about the club matter. but what you did actually make us see you more than a president. i don't know about the others, but i m definitely looking up to you as my very own role model. thank you for everything, my dear president. i will definitely miss you. be sure to visit us as often as you can. ok fine if you will be busy serving NS and all. hmm. but if ever we organize outings or events, do come down for it ay?.

i had share my thoughts and feeling. don't really know why i m doing so also. sheesh. i just felt like updating my blog. lolx

ll.aishah.ll

2008-02-23T22:33:00.004+08:00

alright..

back again. hahax. after not updating my blog for so long. hmm.

it was really a hectic week the whole time i never update. class chalet. prop making. add shopping. add deco making. and last but not the least, add itself.

11 february 2008

well. had class chalet. food was nice. hahax. i guess i feel out of place there. don't know why. if not for val and zhi li, i think i would not have come. well, the 3 of us were practically cam whoring throughout our journey to Aloha Loyang. thanks to zhi li cybershot 10.1 megapixel the pictures look pretty cool and nice. hahax. well, i would have post the pictures on blog, but somehow there is something wrong with the connection so can't upload the pictures.

14 february 2008

valentine day. guess what was my first gift? a call from the lecturers lecturing me about not informing them much earlier about ADD. dortz. pretty unhappy with that. they even want me to go down to school to discuss about it - well they claim they can't get alot of lecturers to come down for the event. said lots of lecturers are busy, yada-yada. excuses. excuses. well. i pretty piss then. i had actually inform richard about this event 1 month before the exam. not forgetting all the call he had made to me. urgh. i literally went down to school just to collect the receipt book to tally up the number of attendees attending the event. gosh. if phoe never followed me, i think i would have just slept through at home. going to school nowadays can be a pain in the neck, what's more your school is like smack in the west while you stayed in the north. 1 hour bloody trip, for 2 receipt book. not worthwhile. luckily phoe need to go to her school to get her specs done (which turn out to be closed when we arrived). but what the heck. ah. we then went to chong pang and meet up jon there. ate dinner. well i just ate my favourite chocolate ice-kacang. the night was really fun then.

15 february 2008

had add meeting. that was our last meeting. the following week we had to full force ahead since add was like a freaking 7 days more. discussed about door gifts and the prizes for mr and miss BE. yep. it was the start of the stressful moment. believe me. when i say i m stress up, i really am. i blabber like nobody business. that is what happen when i m darn stress. if not, i will keep darn quiet, eating chocolate, after chocolate. hahax. well, when to see that richard chang and liang. apparently they are our advisor. but believe me, they never act like one. i mean. they weren't really there to advise on our event. hmm. and they are called advisor. wow. hahax. ooh. not forgetting, cynthia ang smsed me saying that the advancement for lucky draw which was a freaking 1000 buck was ready for collection. gosh was i darn happy. hahax. now the only problem is that, the next working day was in 2 days, so we had to wait anxiously for the money to be transferred to ubai account by wednesday.

18 february 2008

another prop making night. yep. i came much earlier to school thinking i will go to the hotel together with regina and ama to give the cheque for the hotel reservation. turn out, eddie can only make it at 5.30 pm. right. and at 6 pm, we had foc meeting. if only the hotel is just next to SP. but apparently, its not. it is somewhere at clarke quay. a good 1 hour trip to and fro. so i ended up wasting time there waiting for the meeting to start. ok fine. i did not really waste time. i did the reimbursement for abu for the camp site reservation. i did the administration stuff for add. i had a chat with cynthia ang (she is really a nice person, kinda glad that i get the opportunity to work with her on all the admin stuff). me and abu even went to IMM to get crackers for the night. ha. foc meeting was fun. it was really funny, thanks to keith and mat. without this 2, i think we will be really quiet. half of the foc oc are in add oc. ok, slightly more than half. we were already tensed up with the add stuff. now foc. stress. then it was dinner time. guess what i ate? cup noodle. ah. kinda budget, i know. but what to do. need to save up for add clothes. and talking about add, i never even gone out to buy clothes for add. sheesh. the night was cool. laughter. joy. for the first time after so many weeks, i laugh like a banshee. hahax. mat was the main course. i hope the video of mat is uploaded on be blog, then you can see what i mean. i was really relax then. ooh. and lezlie loan to us (add oc) a freaking $1350 to pay for the entertainment company. $1350. just like that. i was really scared to keep the money. who won't. hahax. well. we did the props. it look nice now. for those who will be entering SP BE, do come for foc. you will expect lots of pirate props done by us. theme is pirate. must go, if you don't want to be lonely on your first day of school. trust me on that. hahax. foc, had actually allow me to meet people like ama and shiffa who are now one of my closest friend in SP. after doing the props, we discussed bits of add and then we played mahjong. ok, i did not play them. but i know how to play. thanks to val, who taught it to me during the class chalet. hahax. never slept the whole night. caught the 2nd train back home. crash to my bed when i reach my room, without even thinking about changing clothes.

19 february 2008

suppose to meet up with regina and ama to pay the hotel. but i could not wake up at all. and really cannot wake up. i was really tired then. sorry gals. but i did lots of administration stuff at home. now that financial closing is nearing, i had to make sure the meeting minutes and all are done. haiz. that is what happen when you are the secretary of the club. but i enjoyed every moment of it.

20 february 2008

in 2 more days, it will be add. i was nervous. scared. lots of people back out. not wanting to buy the add tickets. i was left with from the initial 5 to 9 tickets. was really panicking. i went to causeway point to the shop Zap It, to print (laser printing) the wrappers for our door gifts. ah!. guess what our door gifts was?. chocolate (cadbury: dairy milk chocolate with roasted almond) with the wrappers design by our dear shiffa. good thinking shiffa!. hahax. it turn out to be a good idea. whats more we were short of time.met shiffa, ama and regina there. met abu while we were having lunch at LJS. we then head down to orchard, to Art friends to buy decoration stuff for the centrepiece. met with gab and evelyn there. bought the materials and all. that is when we saw this small blackboard, and thought it will be a pretty good idea if we gave them that with personalise message written by us together with the chocolate. ha. after buying all the things, we went to far east plaza. had to find my dress that day. must find. sheesh. scan high and low around far east plaza. well. the dress were either too low cut. too short. too glamorous or too exposed. nothing seem to suit me. under desperate measure, me, abu and ama then went to amk This Fashion where i at last got my dress. hahax. i guess if i need to get any dress i will just go to amk This Fashion or the one at paya lebar. they are huge man. as in the shop. lol.

21 february 2008

one freaking more days to add. i panic like hell. i came about 10 am to school to do the centrepiece. i was really scared then. we rush through our centrepieces. the we refers to me, ama, regina, abu and gideon. after finishing them, we went to richard chang office to collect the lucky draw prize that the director had sponsored for us. well, when richard called me saying that the director will be sponsoring the prizes, i thought it will be those boring stuff. you know, microwave. radio. yada - yada. but guess what?. i was darn wrong. he sponsored:
1. hitachi lcd tv - 26 inch
2. ipod nano, 8gd with earpiece and screen protector
3. ipod shuffle, 1 gd with earpiece.

darn kewl the prize isn't it?. hahax. after collecting, we then went to imm to buy some lucky draw gifts. since the money was not transferred yet, we had to used ama money first. thanks for the loan ama! after that, me and ama continued hanging around the place. she had to buy her shoe, while i had to buy all the accessories for the add night. bought choker, dangling earrings, some make-up kit and the nail buffer. ha. couldn't sleep at night. toss and turn on bed. i guess i only fell asleep at about 4 am. and i was suppose to wake up at 7.30 the following morning. sheesh.ooh. not forgetting - HAPPY BIRTHDAY REGINA!

22 february 2008

the darn day. ADD DAY. at home i was chaotic. ran around the house like some loose maniac from IMH. sheesh. my nervousness was really incomprehensible. but my mom had to top it with a fight early in the morning with me. won't go in details about it. urgh. i was on the verge of breaking down already on my way to the school. thank gawd val replied my sms very soon. if not, i think i will have just jump of the mrt track and die then and there. i was somemore wearing my favourite white heels. legs were hurting and all. with all the add stuff, my clothes, make up kit, accessories. hahax. my bag was huge then.
well nobody was in the clubhouse yet when i reach there. so i was engross with this novel that i had start reading the night before to kill boredom. it wasn't until ama came then did i put down my novel to finish up whatever we had left. kat, xavier and wei lin came after that. wrap some lucky draw prizes. couldn't wrap the rest since cynthia ang wanted to see our prizes before allowing us to wrap them. kat had booked a maxi cab for us to bring all the stuff to the hotel. abu and gideon came after that.
about 2.30 pm, we left for the hotel in the maxi cab. it took about less than 10 minutes to reach there. well, like duh. it is taxi. sheesh. upon reaching there, we met up with shiffa and k7. we then check in to the room, under my name since the contract was forward to me. hahax. felt kinda cool to sign the papers to check in to the hotel. hahax. in the room, we wrap the lucky draw prizes. had a mini birthday celebration for regina. talking about birthday, in exactly one month time, i will be 18. looking forward to that. as this will mean, whatever i do, i can be accountable for it. like signing up for a better handphone plan without my parents knowledge. hehex. getting sneakier on all this.
by the time we finish wrapping, it was already 4 pm. we rush through to get ready. hair spray, make-up kit, clothes, were thrown everywhere. the room was darn chaotic. everyone was rushing to bath, to put on make-up, to get their hairstyle, to put on their new dress. if there were to be a video on that moment, you will be laughing. definitely.
once when we are ready, we went to the the venue itself. galleria ballroom. gosh was i hectic. run in here and there. managers calling me up. asking me questions and all. at one point, i didn't know what i was doing. hahax. vip came early and all. the entrance was not what we expected. well. we ran into several problems. but hey, which event doesn't have problem on the day itself right? hahax.
overall, the event was a major success. and really a major success. ask the seniors. they said that too. i was ecstatic after the whole thing ended. i danced like nobody business. it is over. ADD IS OVER!!. hahax. the pressure initially i faced are all gone now. everybody love the event. even the lecturers were impressed what the OCs can do. hahax. i m so darn proud of the OCs. we RAWK!. you can check out the pictures of the ADD on be blog (http://sp-beclub.blogspot.com) our wonderful moment.

well. i am glad that it is over. now i can concentrate on FOC. which is coming up in less than 1 month (that is for FOP). well. 3 cheers for the ADD OCs (07/08)!

BE SPIRIT - EVERLASTING!

ll.aishah.ll

2008-02-09T00:28:00.000+08:00

here again. updating blog. urgh. kinda sick of updating already. however, that is the only thing i can do right now to kill time. well, other than watching movie.

so 14 more days. 14 FREAKING DAYS!. it is so short. in 2 weeks time it is the BE ADD. then the day after that is SPAC2GO Anniversary. AH!!!. i need money. i need new clothes!. now that i m broke, i guess i just have to make use of the cloth that i have to make new dress. gosh. it will be a darn ugly dress i bet with ya.

12 february. the all awaited day. Simple Plan new album is out. yesh!. and dear david have promise to buy for me since i manage to stop one of my aunt from matchmaking him with this girl. ha. well, david. since you are reading this blog i want the following item also. hehex. they are:-

1. Simple Plan album (all of it)
2. Chocolate for valentine's day
3. a day cycling with you at pulau ubin
4. a big tub of ben&jerry ice-cream
5. one exclusive date with ya.

you will be kind enough to treat my this right?. well you own me for saving you from aunty sue.

ha. i m evil. ok fine. lets not make it a date. just a normal outing between us cousin where i can try to use your credit card for shopping. hmm. i think that is a good idea. don't you think?. hahax.

alright. i m addicted to simple plan new song , when i'm gone, now. that is the thing about me. never introduce me to new song. if the song is something to my liking, i will get hook and you will just keep listening it on my mp3. that will be the only song that i play. hmm. maybe i share with you all the song.

cool isn't it?. i wasn't that sure who sang this song when i first heard it from terence (another guy who is hooked to this song). it doesn't sound like simple plan initially. well i guess band are changing their music type and genre nowadays. ha. like panic at the disco sounding like fall out boys. hmm. below is panic at the disco song, nine in the afternoon. you will definitely agree with me that it sound just like fall out boys.

don't you agree with me?. ok. maybe i m just exaggerating. what the heck. hahax. well i think, of all the songs, this song is the best. nice lyrics behind the song. yep. tears drop on my guitar by taylor swift. enjoy!

Teardrops on my guitar
Taylor Swift

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see,
That I want and I'm needing, everything that we should be,
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about,
And she's got ev'rything that I have to live without...

Drew talks to me, I laugh 'cause it's just so funny,
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me,
He says he's so in love, he's fin'lly got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night...

[Chorus:]

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishin' star,
He's the song in the car I keep singin', don't know why I do...

[Verse 1:]

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause...

[Chorus]
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishin' star,
He's the song in the car I keep singin', don't know why I do...

[Bridge:]
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light,
I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight...

[Chorus]
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart,
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do...

He's the time taken up, but there's never enough,
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see

I finally learned to say
Whatever will be will be
I've learned to take
The good, the bad and breathe
'Cause although we like
To know what life's got planned
No one knows if shooting stars will land

ll.aishah.ll

2008-02-07T00:18:00.000+08:00

alright.

here to share with you a song that i find quite nice before i go to sleep.
ooh. and i also found out i m in the TDC (training & development committee) in SPAC2GO. hahax. yeah. i was really hoping to get that. i was initially in PRC (public relation committee). not anymore!. lolx.

ENJOY!

Into the night - Santana ft. Chad Kroeger

Like a gift from the heavens
It was easy to tell
It was love from above
that could save me from hell
She had fire in her soul
it was easy to see
How the devil himself
could be pulled out of me
There were drums in the air
as she started to dance
Every soul in the room
keeping time with their hands

And we sang Ayo Ayo Ayo Ey
And our voices rang like the angels sing
And singing Ayo Ayo Ayo Ey
And we danced on into the night
Ayo Ayo, Ayo Ayo
And we danced on into the night

Like a piece to the puzzle
that falls into place
You could tell how we felt
from the look on our faces
We were spinning in circles
with the moon in our eyes
No room left to move
in between you and I
We forgot where we were
and we lost track of time
And we sang to the wind
as we danced through the night

And we sang Ayo Ayo Ayo Ey
And our voices rang like the angels sing
And singing Ayo Ayo Ayo Ey
And we danced on into the night
Ayo Ayo, Ayo Ayo
And we danced on into the night
Ayo Ayo, Ayo Ayo
And we danced on into the night

(Santana Playing Guitar)

Like a gift from the heavens
It was easy to tell
It was love from above
that could save me from hell
She had fire in her soul
it was easy to see
How the devil himself
could be pulled out of me
There were drums in the air
as she started to dance
Every soul in the room
keeping time with their hands

And we sang Ayo Ayo Ayo Ey
And our voices rang like the angels sing
And singing Ayo Ayo Ayo Ey
And we danced on into the night
(Ayo Ey)
Ayo Ayo Ayo Ey
And we danced on into the night
(And our voices rang like the angels sing)
And singing
Ayo Ayo Ayo Ey
And we danced on into the night
Ayo Ayo Ayo Ey
(Ayo Ayo)
Ayo Ayo Ayo Ey
(Ayo Ayo)
Singing Ayo Ayo Ayo Ey
(Ayo Ayo)
And we danced on into the night

ll.aishah.ll

2008-02-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

ha.

so here i m. back from my reunion dinner. kinda cool to be able to experience this day together with my dad's family. this will be my second reunion dinner. yep. and it is darn enjoyable.

except for all the weird and queer question that my great aunt asked me. hmm. like "do you have boyfriend?". "what are you working as now?". "how much is your pay?". "when do you intend to get married?". if they are not asking they will be commenting about me. from the way i look, to dress, to talk, to walk and yada-yada. erm. excuse me, but doesn't anyone remember that i just finish my first year in poly? and i won't even be entering year 2 until in like 2 months time. gosh.

i was quite uncomfortable when they bombard me with question, until my hero come to my rescue. hahax. thanks david! i own you a treat. hahax. frankly david is a real hottie. if he isn't my distant cousin, i would have fallen for him. matured. hot. funny. and nice. ok fine. you are a bit too old for me though. 9 years of age gap is quite huge you know. ha. i know you will be reading my entry david. see. i m such a kind soul after all. not like what you describe in your blog.

ok. so i have decided to drop the fashion show thing that i was suppose to have. maybe i will just give my position to hayden since she been practically begging me. not forgetting, i m like the worst fashion designer student in my class, so i guess this won't be such a terrible loss for me. the fashion show is like a stepping stone for those who are eager to become professional fashion designer. erm. not me. i have set my mind to be in the event industry. i take fashion designing like a sub-line. you know like when you get bored with what you do, and just want to do something related to your passion like fashion designing. by then, i should have save enough money to open up my own boutique.hahax. like as if i will.

so i told my mom about this. and guess what. she was expecting me to say this! she is really good in reading my mind now. sheesh. so i will be able to spend my birthday all to myself and not in the studio. but there is still no party for it. well, can't blame my parents for that. it was my fault that i kept changing mind. so yea.

well. 15 more days to ADD. i just hope it will go smoothly.

i am still a bit naive with my heart.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-02-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

lets admit it.

4 meeting in one day can really kill you. whats more, the next day, you have another 2 meetings to go. and it is suppose to be H O L I D A Y. urgh. where are all the fairness in the world. why do i get stuck with meetings during my 2 months H O L I D A Y. sheesh.

well. counting down. i have like only 18 days to my ADD. 18 DAYS!!!. now i m panicking all over. ADD. ADD. ADD. ADD. i m so going mental soon.

a bit of disappointment, with someone. giving up so soon. i can understand your reason and all. but shouldn't you take this opportunity then to prove to yourself that you can handle all this matters instead of giving up just like that?. it is quite unfair actually in my perspective view. i don't know about others. but it does to me. well, its up to you i guess.

had spaghetti too with abu and mat just now. hahax. thanks for the abu for the treat! it was nice, especially when we start talking about the old time in primary school and secondary school. that was hilarious.

right. so now. 18 more days to ADD. 19 more days to SPAC2GO Anniversary. i m so totally screwd. never mind. this one large leap, then it will be over. then i can focus my full energy to FO camp. the one that i await for. hahax.

till then.

was i ever yours in the first place?

ll.aishah.ll

2008-02-03T12:47:00.000+08:00

its over. at last. now here come my holiday. the one that i have been awaiting for. hahax. screw the presentation yesterday. it was bad like hell, thanks to my sleepless night. sheesh. i even had my clothes mis-matched. look like a clown. haiz.

well. my design tutor ask me whether i still want to go through with the fashion show. well, it will be essential if i want to continue with fashion design after my diploma. but the thing is, events had already spark my interest. hmm. i wonder if i should continue with what my passion lies in or my interest?. wait. isn't that the same?. gosh.

well. its over. i can have my sleep back. and not think of what colour combination for a dress. with ADD and FOC coming up, i think i better not lose focus to other things. hmm.

till next entry.

i will never forget that precious moment we spend together

ll.aishah.ll

2008-02-02T11:13:00.001+08:00

at last i can upload the pictures taken during our mrt ride home and somewhere at yishun bus interchange yesterday. hahax.

the gang (T.A.D.A)

the gang, excluding me of course

oh. didnt i tell you. i have a new hair cut!

me and kesh

me and phoe

jon and me
me and terence

the guys

the gals.

the clappers

i didnt even know they took this pic.

kesh and phoe with partial of jon

me, jon and ter

nothing better to do.

pardon for the unclear pictures and all. well. what can you expect from phone camera right?. hahax. i miss those moments where we took lots of neoprint. well. this will do i guess. hahax.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-02-01T23:47:00.000+08:00

T.A.D.A.

founder : jonathan

ceo : me!!

chief - editor : kesha

h.r. manager : terence

sponsor : phoebe

(don't even bother guessing the abbreviation. you will be surprise what it really stand for)

hahax. see what happen when you just mixed around retarded and crazy people - your own association. haha. though i really had fun today. better late then never i have to say.

well. went to school for the appreciation lunch. food was good. purposely did not eat in the morning so that i will e very hungry by the time i reach school. gosh. well the only depm students who went were me, ama, shu min, kiat hua, bernice and fauziana. gosh. had lots of laughter. practically gossiping about everything and everyone. hahax.

well i told phoe that i will meet her first before meeting ter, kesh and jon so ended up hanging around in club house. did some administrative stuff for ADD. and i realise something. we have sold 71 tickets so far. 2 more tables to go. well. minus off the performance and vip - it will be left with only 23 more seats before meeting the minimum number of people. yippee. this is cool.
well farhan was inside with me in the clubhouse. so i don't feel that lonely. hahax. practically talking crap. and he was practically emo-ing all the way. hahax.

well about 3.50 pm, i left school to head for NP since phoe need my help in her maths. gosh. it has been a year since i last touch a-maths. totally forgot how to go about doing differentiation now. hahax. felt so retarded sitting around in her class with unknown people around me. thank god no one realise that i m from SP or anything. well. we went to orchard instead of our initial plan of going to t3 and expo. took a bus and alight wrongly. hahax. but nevermind. now i know where exactly the bus 171 take me.

met ter, kesh and jon at far east plaza. walk to centrepoint to eat. realise the place do not have halal food. so we walk to plaza singapura. there we tried the chicken grill at the kopitiam. freaking nice i have to say. hahax. lots of laughter while eating. at the very least kesh and phoe stress level drop. practically talking nonsense there. hahax. i really can't believe we are turning 18 this year. 19 for kesh. our jokes and thinking seem like a secondary school kid. hahax. well. i guess we miss those days in the canteen where we ate together. laugh like hell. chase each other(people even thought it was hindi movie). gosh.

in the mrt. we were practically cam-whoring. well currently can't upload the pictures. something wrong with the connection. sheesh. nevermind. will upload some other time. yep.

i really enjoy today gathering. now that jon and ter got their result, it means that we will really be separated. let see. kesh in NYP. phoe in NP. me in SP. while for ter and jon, chances that they will go to TP. one end to the other. gosh. i really wonder how we going to meet like this. especially during the chaotic moment of projects submission and all. well, we'll see how it goes. shouldn't be that bad right?.

i was really hoping tomorrow there will be another gathering. well i think i better get rid of that idea if i don't want to get broke. sheesh. work. i need work.!!!

where were you when i need you?

ll.aishah.ll

2008-01-31T22:43:00.000+08:00

alas!. updates to my poor little blog which have been collecting spider webs and dust. hmm. poor blog. i guess it is time for me to change my skin, yet another time. hahax

alright. exam is finally over. it is HOOOOLIDAYYYYY. hahax. but i m spending my time working and concentrating on the final 2 event which is FOC and ADD. hahax. right. 21 more days to ADD. and i m cutting down the number of people from 140 to 110. this is so that there will be a bigger dance floor for the year 3 to dance. See farhan. i m so nice to you to accomodate to this changes. lol.

well. olevel was out, like, erm, a week back. and as we have hoped, they didnt do that well as some teachers expect them to. ha. i enjoy seeing the teachers look when this happen. well don't mind me, but it can be quite hurtful and irritating when teachers always compare you with the juniors. saying they are more hardworking and all. sheesh. see what this cause them?. lol.

anyway. the national result was 90% with 5 credits or more. well our batch was 95 % if not mistaken. the opss student got like 92%. true they beat the national. but we still beat them. hahax. 93%. the highest so far in opss. not forgetting the percentage for 3 credit or more was 97%. see how crazy we are?. lol. sad to say i wasnt that close with the 07 sec 4 students. majority are cocky. thinking they are really good. well. take a look at the mirror i will say. hahax.

anyway. i m back on my stress mode eventhough exam is over. why did i take fashion again?. waste of my energy. saturday submission of my drafts work. but i only got 3 design that i will i can say acceptable to the public eyes. right. so i will be burning mid-night oil again. haiz.

well i guess i just go back to my design. half the time i was just scribbling nonsense on the paper. gosh. valentine is around the corner. looking forward to that.

is it really happening?.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-01-23T12:00:00.000+08:00

confused.

yep. that is exactly what i m feeling right now. i don't know why. maybe it is just me. for the first time, i m not thinking what i should be thinking. half of the time, i was practically lost in my own world. the other half, i ended up worrying about school stuff. like the upcoming ADD which is like in a month time. sheesh. that is fast. haiz.

one more paper to go. and it will be over. i just can't understand why they must have the paper 9 days after economics. now i m like practically slacking at home. don't know whether i should start just wait for time to pass till the exam day or just self-declare its holiday. gosh.

i miss his touch.
the way he hold me.
the way he called my name.

well now. i have to find a job. if not, i don't know how m i going to pay for my next fashion show. 5 of my design are going to be displayed. and i have not even start sewing them. no money to buy the cloth, which cost like $500 altogether. so yep. i m totally screwed. thank gawd the fashion show is like on 23 march. and guess what? my birthday celebration is canceled. UNFAIR!. but then again, i was the one who told my mom to cancel it. since i will be like spending my birthday at my studio. well, i guess i can make do with that. i just hope he can just be with me on that day. at least my day won't be wasted.

well. then. till next entry.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-01-19T16:56:00.000+08:00

alright.

the mugging period is here again. so you can practically see SP student feverishly mugging and stressing over their exam. especially me. NOT. hahax. this is the first time in my whole life i couldn't be bothered with exam. economics and project management left. well that should be a breeze. yep. i guess i m being abit too complacent. gosh.

AVS, EMC and autoCADD was relatively easy. hahax. i should be able to pass well. but not well enough to get a distinction. like duh! i mean. i did not really study the module until the night before it. gosh. and now i m praying that i wish i had studied much earlier. sheesh.

anyway. in a blink of an eye, a week had pass since we last get together. yep. definitely miss him loads. hahax. been sms-ing each other frequently. would have gone out with him if not for my exam and his thick pile of project that he have to do. hmm. nevermind. 2 more weeks to go. well after economics it is practically free and easy since project management need more of your common sense and understanding. so yea. i m prepared for the exam. well. i hope. lol.

well. better get back to my economics now. love that module. the thing about economics is that you manage to grasp to concept, everything will be easy. i never even memorise anything. gosh. i treated economic like social studies - remember the time we sat down days before the paper trying to memorise the linking sentence?. hahax. well. i remember olevel i never even memorise a thing. i just come up with crap stuff and where had it gotten me? an A1 for humanities. hahax.

well. till here then.

missing him loads.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-01-13T18:42:00.000+08:00

the mugging period is here..

sheesh..

tuesday is our first test paper. AVS. gosh. i have never like physics since secondary school. so don't mind me for being quite hateful towards that module. gosh. how i wish exam is over now. urgh

ok. the open house was hell of a tiring thing for me. was the tour guide for the SP Tour Bus. and frankly, if you don't like to speak, well, this job is not meant for you. let me see. on the first day, i was like talking from 3 pm to 6 pm. talking about MM, SMA, CLS, BE, Moberly Hub, SB, SMIT and SD. sheesh. i talk non stop. well. once you are on the bus, you will never notice the time has fly so fast. but gosh, was my throat dry after that. but then, i still got time to bring my junior around. yep. my juniors came by. hahax. amos is taller now (but still shorter than me). lol. pauline, daniel and andy all look great. gosh. i miss the council. it has been some time since i last seen them. i better make a trip back to OPSS to visit them. at the most i will just get a punch from amos. but other than that, it will be a fun trip back - i guess. hq and weide also came by to check out the open house. hahax. frankly, 10 january 2008 mark a memorable day for me. hahax. nevermind. will just keep it to myself. selfish me. hahax. but who cares.

2nd day was the same. i missed EMC. went to see the doctor. yet again. nothing change. regular check up. well. went to NYP after that to check out the open house. hehex. ok. fine. i admit. i did not become a spy. there was nothing interesting to check out. i ended chatting with hq. lol. then went to school to start again my tour guide duty. the same actually. except that now i did it till 6 pm. hmm. tour guide job can be fun at time. well provided that there isnt any guys disturbing you. sheesh. can be quite irritating. fine. not quite. it was really irritating me. dortz. anyway. went to spaghetti too after that. well i deserve a treat after talking so much right?. i practically survive on a bar of chocolate and lots of water only. i could have die of hunger in the mrt if i did not eat. hmm. food was fabulous. well. i guess when you are hungry, everything is nice. hahax. thanks ama for bringing us there. at last you get to eat your pasta. lol.

ooh. did i tell you, we make a new friend. ok. that sound wrong. yep. so i have a new friend name raine. cool girl she is. i mean, in term of shopping, we could just shop together. hahax. she is into cheap clothing just like me. so yea. she fun to hang around. talk alot. definitely a sanguine. yep. oh. she is the other half of the champion for SP Superstar.

ok. third day of open house was the worst. i did my duty from 10 to 6. and gosh was i beat. i talk non-stop. get to know some other people during the parent seminar and the tour bus. gosh. it was really scary especially talking to a group of parents actually. they ask lots of question. JAE. cut-off point. admission. registration. lol. do i look like a lecturer to them?. sheesh. well. i ended up asking my dad to pick me up from school. i was asleep all the way back home. thank gawd the car is comfortable and there is cushion in it.

well. i have to say the SP open house is an open eye. i get to know how they run the event and all. learn new things about other schools. listen to few gossips that lecturers share among themselves. hahax.

to those juniors of mine who miss out the open house, well it is your loss actually. you should check it out and learn the 6 new courses that they are having for this year cohort.

well. have to continue mugging now. till next entry.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-01-04T19:55:00.000+08:00

yes!

the very last presentation is done. over. i was just waiting for this moment. i can now concentrate on my test.

ok fine. i won't be able to concentrate due to the pressure of BE advisor and SAA regarding ADD. sheesh. tickets. tickets. it really is scaring me now. in like a months time it will be my event. i just don't know why i took ADD. i could have chosen like talentime or something like that. the stress of it is killing me.

well true, i don't have task like some do. like abu being in-charge of lucky draw and all. but i am responsible for the contract and all. i will have to answer all the heads of what-so-ever if ever there were mistakes. my head will roll off if i make huge error. gosh. that is what that i am scared. i guess some just won't get it. they think i got so much free time in my hand as a event chairperson. well you think wrong. though, can't blame them for that since they have not tried this position i m in. gosh, i practically choked when someone told me my job was the easiest job. yeah yeah. true. i no need to source the sponsor etc and all. but if someone in the committee make mistake, whose fault will it be?. it will be mine and mine. the heads and all will take it on me. who am i going to take it out on then?. the committee?. gosh. the mistake is over and done with. why should i even bother to take it on them. so ended up i will take it on my own. if it is too much for me to handle, my poor good friends will be tortured by my depression. well, if that really happen, i am tremendously sorry.

anyway. yesterday was my second training as a tour guide for the sp open house. freaking cool i am telling you. me and 10 other students guide the principal himself around. luckily i had the sch of BE stop, so it wasn't that difficult. i just have to talk about MICE Maze and the ARDC. representing BE is me, jun kai, fanny and lee han. well, lee han could not come for the training as she just came back to singapore from her holiday. i just hope she is in the same group as the 3 of us.

well we get to follow the principal through the tour. went into SMA integrated simulator room - very cool place, see engine and all, CLS frangrant lab and optometry centre, SB info-security lab, MM integrated project centre and of course BE MICE maze and ADRC. should see how excited me and fanny was when we went into the MICE maze. hahax. the people whom i get to know off during the training were envying us for being in DEPM and having the cool lighting and room. yep. totally cool. have to say, i was proud of the archi and DLA student. their projects were put on display at ADRC. it was really nice. and i really mean it. so for those who are interested to see all these, you should just pretend that you are looking for a course in SP and take a ride in the SP Tour Bus to get a feel of all this.

talking about the guides, there were 2 of them who have really nice voice. gosh. their voice made girls melt. and they are funny guys. hahax. had hell lots of fun with them. laugh so much. oh. also one of them by the name of kenneth, was like a twin brother of jondave. freaky i m telling you. he was musically talent. nice voice. play basketball. really is crazy. just like jondave. hahax. me and fanny kept teling kenneth that we are going to let him meet jondave. hahax.

well then. i think that is all. i am so going to listen to the advice that abu, valerie, ama and shu min said : just ignore it and continue with your life. hahax. great advice. whats more with an even shorter life, i think i should just heed their advice. such a waste to fret over all this stuff. i guess i am still as childish as ever.

lol.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-01-03T22:11:00.000+08:00

right..

so everything is my fault now?. wow. just wow. it is so remarkable that i wish i could just hug you for informing that on your blog. hmm. well you state that i should just tell you straight to the face. well. why didn't you tell my fault straight to my face then?.. know what. just drop that. i cant be bothered with it anymore.

it was clearly known that today meeting was compulsory. fine. if you never come for the last meeting.unknown to you. but shouldn't you be asking anyone from your class? why cant you just open that mouth and just ask. what is so difficult about it?.

and yes. i m freaking mad at you. i wouldn't be that mad if you have not write all the stuff in your entry. i think i will have forgiven you by now.

my tolerance level has reach its peak. as a friend, you are fun. but as a partner in a group don't even think about it. we can never work together. pushing all the work aside i think you are a great friend. seriously. we can have fun. you make jokes and all.

this madness is not about the minor thing. but i am really disappointed. try asking yourself why i m disappointed. don't think i never make use what i learn in my GEMS class. i do. it is you who do not know what exactly we are learning.

i admit, i make mistake at time. i need the help of my friends to tell me where i went wrong. but the way you did was way too much. you should have just tell me what was wrong and stop blaming me the whole thing. not everything was my fault. find your mistake first before you point others mistake.

gosh. really am disappointed in you.

ll.aishah.ll

2008-01-02T22:20:00.000+08:00

so.. here i m.. counting down the days..
to exams, holidays and events.. ah!!

test - 12 more day
economic paper - 19 more days
project management paper - 29 more days
holiday - 30 more days
annual dinner and dance - 52 more days
freshman orientation preparation - 76 more days
my birthday - 81 more days
freshman orientation camp - 90 more days

now i m feeling more stress up..
ah!!

ll.aishah.ll

2008-01-01T02:41:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU!!

hahax.

at last. the new year is year. everything will be new. erm. i think. lol. i know i have made new resolution. new promises. new goals. new determination. but i don't think i can have the new me. though i will try to change.

bb was darn sweet just now. hahax. went out to see the firework at johore bahru. hahax. don't know why have to go there also. i mean there were some firework at singapore to celebrate the countdown right?. we can just go down to marina or to vivo. no need to go all the way to johore. gosh. luckily my parents allowed me to go with him since they themselves were going to malaysia. so we ended up going to the same destination, but in different car. hahax. he gave me a bunch of blue rose, a box of chocolates and a teddy bear(all my favourites). gosh. you know how much i love chocolate. hahax. i could practically just hug him the whole night for the gifts. THX BB. appreciate and love them lots. well we went to some bay at johore bahru. had a fair there. so we ended up eating alot. hmm. well the seafood were nice. thanks for the treat bb. gosh. fireworks were like filled in the sky. we were watching the firework in front of us when a firework just explode behind us. totally cool i am telling you. it was a really nice place to have a date there. hmm. ok. i m talking nonsense.

alright. below are the pictures of the appreciation dinner. it was kinda fun actually. laugh alot during that night. hahax. food was ok. though, it was difficult eating sambal prawn. lol. oh not forgetting. the waiting time after the registration was freaking long. sheesh.

Before the dinner. At the lobby

Wherever BE is, there will always be DEPM students.

Our public relation team

Our treasurer team
During the dinner

The decoration

Theme: Masquerade (damnation!)

Silver mask

The gold mask

Table setup

Putting on the mask

Doug and Xavier

Me and Shiffa

The gang with mask

During the games

Intently watching

After the dinner

Ubai, fathi and doug

Jessie(sports club), feldy(sma club), farhan(be club),
the 3 presidents.

farhan, fathi and doug

i wonder what are they doing?. hmm.

skye laughing at ubai.

the gang. without me.

the full gang. lol

alright. will update some other time. hmm. better rush through my emc now. sheesh.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-12-25T00:57:00.001+08:00

ah..

yesh.. and here i am.. back in singapore. at long last. hahax. i was just waiting for this moment. to update my blog. to check my mail. to go online. hahax. holiday was somewhat so-so. nothing that scary or memorable. though some of the ride will be lock in my memory box. hahax. ok. let me start my kuala lumpur - cum - genting highland trip. starting with a list of dissapointment i encountered.

KUALA LUMPUR - CUM - GENTING HIGHLAND TRIP
list of dissapointment:
1. i did not get to go TIME SQUARE (the all time favourite shopping mall of mine)

2. traffic jam in KL was bad (and i really mean that bad)

3. it was a raining season after all, so i fell erm like countless of time

4. i did not get to play all the games at Genting highland! (totally unfair!)

5. service at Malaysia is bad (i guess because i m so used to getting good service in singapore?)

6. mom like to nag

7. my lil' brother was unbearable (totally hyperactive)

8. promises made by my parents were broken

9. shopping time was cut short due to delay of time - the adults just talk too much

10. my sister is really getting out of hand

11. food was nothing comparable to Singapore (like duh!)

12. searching for souveneirs really take a long time due to the crowd

13. it took at least 20 min just to wait for my turn for food and games (gosh)

14. the water heater was not really working so half the time i was bathing in cold water at Genting ( and gosh was i shivering)

15. I DID NOT GET MY DRESS FOR APPRECIATION DINNER (URGH!)

1st day (20 Dec 2007)

alright. i was already freaking angry as i was made to wake up as early as 6am just for the trip. gosh. i was ready to say i am not going but thinking that i am at long last going to reach genting, i held back. well. by 7.30 am i was all ready, clothes all ironed and packed, room clean and all. i thought the rest of the family will be ready also. but guess what?. they were not even bath. damnation to that. i ended up cleaning the whole mess they create while getting ready for the trip. plus i even had to cook for my granddad. gosh. i was made to wake up early just to do the freaking chores?. well kept quiet. when i m quiet, my family knows that they should not mess with me. at the very least they know that. so yeah. nobody dare to mess with me. well. at about 10 am, we left singapore and head off for bukit indah - johore bahru, where my cousins are staying. our trip partner. yep. they are fun people. hehex. well. by 11 am we reach their place.

11.30 am we headed off for kuala lumpur.

3 freaking hours trip. butt hurt like hell i am telling you. we had our stopover 1 hour later. erm. ok. i never even take note of the place. sheesh. our second stopover was at malacca. hmm. the food was ok. but anyway below is a picture of our first and second stopover.

the toilet - really clean.

on our way to the second stopover.

the view at our second stopover

our second stopover.

right. after our second stopover, after we filled our stomach, we went over my aunt house who stayed somewhere near KL. just a small town name CERAS. hmm. loved the view from her house. we could see the petronas tower, better known as the KLCC. hmm. i got some picture of the view, but it wasnt that clear enough

nice view ah?. well then on with the story.

ok. we rest for quite some time before proceeding to the hotel where my cousin have book. let me try to recall the name of the hotel - erm.. equtorial?. equaloratial? lol. something like that. i only remember the equa- something. hahax.

after sending them to the hotel, it was 8 pm plus. well, we did some night sighting. very nice view i have to say. hmm. below are some of the pictures.

night sighting

alright then. slept over at my aunt place.

of to the 2nd day

2nd day (21 december 2007)

well then,i couldnt wake up in the morning (nothing surprising there). my sis have to splash water just to wake me up. hahax. ok. fine. breakfast was nice, thanks to my aunt splendid cooking. well off we went to KLCC shopping mall. things there were expensive. i though orchard road stuff were expensive enough but this place is even expensive. some of the items were like 2 more of what we pay in singapore. so let say a shirt cost about 50 bucks in singapore, there it cost like 200 bucks!! but love window shopping all the more. i mean, where else can you find jimmy choo shop?. gosh. well decoration of the place for christmas there were nice. service was bad as per usual. waited for like a freaking 30 min just for drinks to come. sheesh.

my lunch

did i mention that KLCC shopping mall is like ngee ann shopping centre?. well yeah. it is like that. anyway. we wanted to go time square after that. thought of taking the monorail. but guess what?. not only was it pack with people, it was freaking freaking late. we waited about 1 hours before the announcer said - the monorail facing some problem. some kind of service ah?. gosh. we then just went to my cousin hotel and hang out at the cafe there. oh. and guess what. after much calling and equiring, we at last got a hotel at genting highland! yep. that will be the next day. our trip to genting.well at night, we just went to some coffee shop and eat to our fill. yep. the food ad service there is so much better as compared to eating at restaurant. gosh. well anyway. ate kampong food. totally nice i have to say.

3rd day (22 december 2007)

well, in exactly 3 months time, i will be 18. lolx. hahax. anyway. we woke up at about 7 am. prepare our stuff and all. by 8, we were ready to leave for hotel gotongjaya, at genting. ok fine. genting is up on the hill. we are somewhere at the bottom. nearer off to the cable car. hahax. reach the hotel at about 11 am. the room was cosy. but what i love the most of that place is the view. gosh. it was magnificent i m telling you. you can see the cloud rolling in, covering genting highland. it was darn nice.

we did a bit of food shopping after we rest our body. after that, off to gotongjaya cable car station. yep. i manage to take a cable car up to genting highland. service was slow, as per usual. it was like after 1 hour of waiting before we get to ride the cable car. hmm. anyway. the view was nice. magnificent.

well. upon reaching there, we did not play any games - dissapointing. did a bit of shopping for souveneirs. hehex. there was this shop selling pretty nice souveneirs. worth of what i am paying. lol. anyway. there, we just walk around the shopping mall. nothing much. i was really eager to play already. the games seem exciting enough. hahax. well. after much walking around. we went back to the hotel to have our big rest before going off to play the games the next day

nice lightings. thanks to christmas, which was approaching.yep.

4th day ( 23rd december 2007)

well off we went to genting highland there. my cousin drive us there. well, he scared of height, so we cant take the cable car again. well there. we played the thrillest ride ever. yep. all the roller coaster i have ride on them. then there is this erm, let me recall the name. oh yeah. space shot. hahax. ok. i can name all the rides we took.

1. space shot

2. corkscrew

3.cyclone

4.flying dragon

5.spinner

these are 5 out of 12 thrill rides. if ever you guys come to genting. take this ride. it is worth waiting and your money.

5th day (24 december 2007)

well. we check out the hotel at about 11 am. went to my mom's uncle. kampong. gosh. miss the feeling of leaving in kampong. nice atmosphere and all. as compared to living in this material world. hmm.. anyway. hang out there for awhile, before we went to sungai wang shopping centre. at sungai wang, we just walk around parkson mall. that is all. sheesh. i never even get to shop for my dress. my freaking dress. urgh. well then. by 5.30pm we left the place, and back to singapore. had only one stopover. hmm. ate dinner there. food wasnt that nice apparently but when you are hungry, everything is nice it seem. hahax. well reached singapore at 11. and guess what? we were locked out of the house!. gosh. we were all already tired, now locked outside by my grandfather. gosh.

well. that was all on my trip. sorry about the pictures and all. lazy to rotate them. hahax. next entry will be on the mt night and the appreciation dinner.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-12-19T19:49:00.000+08:00

alright here i am. maybe the last entry before i go off for my holiday! hahax. the next entry could be like 2 weeks from now, when all the activities are done for.. yep.

let see.. i actually want to complain. lol

everybody say the eldest child get the most pampering when they were young. well. i beg to differ. i only receive about 5 months off pampering before my mom got pregnant with my second sis. wow. that is sure lots of pampering ah?. let see. what do i get to feel?. other then being milked and crying practically all day long, what pampering do i have?. well true i got the whole baby cot to myself before my sis was born, like that make any difference. eventhough my mom have not really gave birth to my sis, what do i get?. other than experiencing what a mom goes through while being pregnant. morning sickness, mood fling yada-yada, i experience not much of pampering before my sis is born. gosh.

and here my parents are lecturing that i got the most attention from the family. yes. i realise that. everything is upon me. nothing on my sis(s). i have to make sure i do well in my education for my family. i have to break up in this relationship i was in because of my family. i join different organization so that i can learn on how to become a better person, just for my family. i enter various course so that i get different qualification - also for my family. everything was for my family. and what did i get in return?. scolding for being a bad example to my sisbling. wow. that is a very good reward ah?.

all this while i tried all kind of ways to make my parents proud of me so that they can happily tell their other siblings about my achievement so that no one can look down at our family. well, nobody look down on me of course. my other younger cousins now look up at me as the role model. hehex. because of that, my parents keep pressurizing me to maintain the standard.

lazy at home?. how can i not be. half of my time is spend in school, by the time i reach home, i will have to finish this and that before i get really tired. and here they say i m lazy in doing household chores. very justifiable ah?.

sometime i feel fed up being at home and always getting pin-point by my parents. everything is my fault. if my sis talk on the phone too long, it will be my fault for not controlling her. what the bloody hell is with that?. i myself don't talk on the phone for that long.when she fail her paper, it will be my fault for spending much time in school instead of at home teaching her. you see why i m getting fed-up with this. where is the justice to my life?

i have this goal. that goal is to be a successful person before i reach the age of 35. don't think me as a money oriented person. it just that i want my family to lead a better life, and not suffer how we are suffering now. but it can sure be quite stressful, if you ask me. everyone look at you - your cousin, aunties, nephew, nieces, uncles etc. name them all. everyone will just look and talk, good and bad, about you just because you are doing quite well (their terms of well is being able to enter poly with one time attempt of o'level). now, i can't even make a mistake. any small mistake, it will sure be an embarrasement to my family. so what with this bloody attitude? i mean, we are entitled to make mistake right? nobody is perfect - so what up with this?

i have enough of this kind of attitude. it is time i break out of this and lead my own life. you know. my plan now is to finish my 2 diplomas, get a degree here (if not oversea), then go switzerland and live happily ever after. yep. since i learn switzerland in social studies, i have always dream of living there. hahax. true there will be racism and all. but who give a shit on it?. it is my life, i should venture it out on my own - shouldn't i? independency is what my parents always lecture me on. yep. now i will show it to them.

right then. i have my fair bit of complaining. hahax. till next entry.

oh. to all poly students - HAPPY HOLIDAY
to all the muslim - SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL ADHA
to all the christian - MERRY CHRISTMAS
to everyone in the world - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

ll.aishah.ll

2007-12-19T09:28:00.000+08:00

yesh.
tomorrow is the day. yes. tomorrow till chrismas i will be away from singapore. away from all the stress. hahax. i m so loving this. lol. but guess what. even though i m going on holiday, i will still be bringing along my notes for revision. how kiasu can i be?. that is just me. i feel rather insecure if i don't bring some study materials to study there. gosh.

kl. here i come. hahax. shopping. lots and lots of shopping. i can shop for the dress for the upcoming appreciation dinner. yep. then for ADD maybe i will just ask my mom to sew my dress after i design it. gosh. i am so darn lazy to even sew myself.

let see. the last time i went to kl was like when i was 4 years old?. that is like more than 10 years plus. i don't even any memories to that event. all i have was pictures taken at that time. still, i don't remember what i play and all. hahax. i was young. so tendency of remembering all this details is ditto. lolx.

so tomorrow morning, once my dad come back from hari raya prayer i will be off to Tuas checkpoint. then go kl to my aunt place there. sleepover there. sightseeing to kl on friday. then saturday go genting highland. yesh. i wonder when i am going time square. plan to meet ama there since she is going kl also, coincidentally. lol. right ama. so maybe we can meet at time square on friday?. hahax. ok. i am retarded.

christmas. well. i was hoping to spend the time with the special person. but whatever. i can't be bothered already with this details. kinda piss with him. the heck with this.

so now, i better get back to finishing my tutorials so that i can hand them in later to BE office. sheesh. go back to school just to hand in the tutorials. maybe i can go shopping after that with val. lol.

well then

GoodBye Singapore, Hello Malaysia!!

ll.aishah.ll

2007-12-18T17:21:00.000+08:00

do you all know.. hadi mirza rating during the asian idol was 28%? followed by jaclyn victor which is 27%.. gosh. that is darn close. but i still was expecting jaclyn to win. hmm.. wait. why am i even talking about this asian idol?. i m certainly not in my right mind now.

alright. i did not go to school today. supposedly to - to wrap the gifts for the early birds for those who bought the ADD tickets. thanks to my siblings, i m stuck at home. to ama and shiffa, really am sorry for not coming down to help you guys.

ok. so what was i doing the whole day you may ask me.

well.
other than rushing through the tutorials that i own the lecturers and frequently getting nagged by my mom to start packing for my holiday trip, i did nothing. half the time i was stoning. my gosh. i should stop doing it already and start on my revision. i am ok with all modules except for AVS. gosh. i simply can't grasp the concept. just hate physics. i guess i have to learn to love it so that i can concentrate on it. i mean, everytime i tried revising for AVS, i will somehow feel lethargic. not for economics though. i can like study economics for a whole 8 hours straight. with breaks in between. but still you can see the major differences when studying for this 2 modules. gosh. i am just weird.

PM is the best of all. it is not exactly my forte but it is the easiest to understand if you ask me. you just basically apply to your daily activities and all the experiences you had for the event you hold. yep. easy. though i can be quite complacent at time. i remembered my last PM test. gosh. i merely read through only. wait. never even read. i just flip through the paper. see how complacent i was?. but i can score like quite high. so maybe if i just put in a little bit of effort i can at least secure an A for this module. yep. i should do that.

Autocad is easy thanks to all the cheat method me and val develop. hahax. much easier to work on. gosh.

well. just got news from my mom that my sis did pretty alright for her Nlevel. my cousin who also take Nlevel this year is going to take Olevel next year. congrats to you all. though i don't understand why you all are not excited at all. just a "yeah, i pass all of them alright". thats all?. where is the joy?. the excitement?. gosh. i remember the day when i collect my o'level result. my hand was sweaty and all. heart was pumping so hard. i was so nervous. somemore i was the 4th person in line to collect my result. i was darn scared. in my head i was like, what if i fail?. i will be such a dissapointment to my parents. see aishah, you never put your heart and soul to the exam. never revise right?. serve you right if you fail. yep. that was what went through in my head.then it was my turn. i slowly sat opposite my form teacher. my form teacher than had very expressionless face. then he said "right, aishah. lets see. looking at your result, you did ok. let see. altogether about 11 point for L1R4. congrats aishah." gosh was i stunned when he said that. i thought the ok was like 15 to 17 points since my prelim result was somewhat near horrendous. but nope. there it was on my result slip - 11 pt with cca. 12 pt without cca. my form teacher, mr pang, merely grin at me and pass to me all the necessary documentation needed for registration of course. right after that i called my mom and shouted to her the good news. hahax. what can you expect from a very excited person right?. hahax. see. at least there were joys when i found out i did pretty well. but for my sis and cousin?. nil. ditto. gosh. are they really that boring?. hahax.

right then. i think i better start revising. i must do well for this exam. yep. a must. though i sometime wonder how to do so.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-12-17T11:12:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh. can you believe it?. hadi mizra won the first asian idol.. HADI!!. lol. 3 cheers and 3 cheers and 3 cheers for hadi.. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. gosh. it was a shocking news. i was just doing my revision when my mom burst into my room saying hadi won. dumbfounded, i dashed out of my room to really see if it is true. my mom can be quite a joker something. doing this sort of things so that i will get out of the room to do something. lol. but true enough, there, on tv, hadi singing berserah composed by taufik batisah, with all the coffetti and all. yep. he definitely won the idol. surprising. hmm. i was actually expecting jacqueline victor to win. i mean, who to deny? she got such a darn nice voice. hmm.. but nevertheless, singapore have won. meaning a whole week of hadi song on radio. and hadi album will really go into the market, since he is the asian idol now. hmm. wasnt such a great fan of his. i m more of taufik fan. lol. i guess he is just kind of cute only. that is all. lol.

oh. you should have seen me, ama and farhan online.. cheering like hell cause hadi won. yep. this goes to show singapore have the potential. hahax

well
CONGRATS TO HADI MIRZA - OUR VERY FIRST ASIAN IDOL

ll.aishah.ll

2007-12-16T20:03:00.000+08:00

i m freaking piss now. so u come for the discussion just to show face is it? don't you feel remorseful since you never even help me with the first one?. you did not even volunteer yourself to help out in the project. who the hell you think you are?. some big boss daughter?. gosh. i m so regretting doing my project with you.

you know. i should have learn my lesson from first semester. the time. design and drawing project. i told you to do some research. did you do it?. no. you claim you were busy. like hell yeah. as if i m not busy myself. like as if i got nothing better to do but do yours and my part. ended up what do we get?. a mere pass. thanks to your last minute work. urgh.

then emc. didn't we say we meet at 7.30 pm?. how come you only reach at 8.15 pm then?. don't you have any sense of urgency. well. fine. you come late. close one eye. but you change practically half the slide. and i was freaking lost. this is the first presentation that i have done, and got lost during the presentation itself. why is that so?. you edit the slide so as to follow your way. oh my freaking gawd. i spend countless of hours doing that. and you just change at the last minute?. so you did your part well. as in your presentation well. while the 3 of us were like shit?. who the fucking hell are you to do that?. don't you even understand the fucking 'group work' mean?. you fucking piss me off now that i m fucking scolding all the vulgarities.

ideas presentation you at last minute decided not to come. oh gawd. i have done the slide. yet you never even show face to me to even present your part?. damnation to this man. i thought you would have changed after what happen during the first semester. now this semester also? are you trying to bring all of us down?. cause if you do. watch out for aishah here. i m no more the miss nice-girl who give the person a chance if they never do anything. i m no more the miss tolerable who will tolerate all this bloody nonsense. don't even think you can step over my head now. no more miss nice. you are on your way to seeing me turn into miss devil. just don't you make any mistake. one more mistake and i will be very nasty to you.

gosh. spoiling my day just because of one idiot. urgh

||.aishah.||

2007-12-16T02:05:00.000+08:00

our retard moment after the emc presentation. lol. we, as in me, zhi li, val and mel were practically cam whoring. val camera was made use into somekind of neoprint machine where it take lots of snapshot at one time. gosh. i wasnt into the cam whoring scene though. just wasnt in the mood since i failed to do well for this presentation. sheesh. and presentation was somewhat my forte back in secondary school. i really do not know what happen to me now.

alright. i m definitely tired and bump out. the whole week i have been sleeping in late and waking up early. rushing through projects and all. now that holidays is here, i could catch my breathe for a while, having been in the hectic pace for quite some time. after some rest, it is back to revision since exam is like in erm 4 wks?. gosh. time sure fly real fast.

slept like at 12 mn yesterday. woke up 12 pm. felt grouchy after that. i guess too much sleep can really hit you. but i seriously do miss my bed. now i get it to myself. i can spend half of my time on the bed just practically slacking. yeap.

well. friday was the DEPM appreciation dinner. the food was awesome though. but the hyperness to it was kinda low. well i was there actually wishing the half of the BE club members were there and really create the atmosphere of a party. just like Disco Night. that is so totally happening. with all the dancing and jumping and singing. gosh. totally cool. i dont mind like dancing on my heels. who give a damn to heels and blister when you are having fun and you are high. you just know everything is awesome.

i m kinda confuse with myself. one moment i thought i forgotten him. the next moment not?. ah? why arent i decisive? didnt i say i will forget him?. shouldnt i be forgetting him by now?i should. i should. i should. the confusion start after he make a move of talking to me. hmm. maybe i just need to catch a breathe and re-think and sort out my mind. i guess after the holiday i will be ok. well. i jolly hope so.

well. i really cant wait to go on holidays. i mean,yeah only KL. but it has been some time since i last go on holiday. the only time i was having fun oversea was the GYL camp which was held at Batam. but that was with school mate. now i m going with my family. my cousins and aunties. gosh. they are crazy people when you are talking about shopping and entertainment. never for anything. so yeah. 5 whole days in Malaysia. just cant wait for that. will take this opportunity to shop for SPSU appreciation dinner which is held on 27 Dec. gosh. i still do not know what to wear.

well. 26 dec is another MT night. we sure do have lots of exposure. hahax. chanbarra camp ah?. ok. i cant be the ghost anymore, which is kinda unfair.. sheesh. nevermind. at the very least cedric, my helper, will be coming down for it. well. i actually asked him to come for it cause it will give him great exposure on how we run the camp. hehex.

welll time to sleep already. been yawning from just now. gosh. i just wonder what time i will wake up tomorrow. hope i wont be late for the econs discussion meeting.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-12-09T21:50:00.000+08:00

i m so darn proud of myself. yep. proud. hahax. want to know why?. well. i manage to not to think of him for the very first time since GYL camp. shouldnt i be proud of myself?. lolx. kinda retarded. i know. but hey. you know. it have been quite difficult. trying to forget him and all. he may be special. but not special enough for me. yep. hahax. i m not thinking of him. the first step of getting rid of this feeling for him. ALAS!!.

friday was fun. it was the FOC prop making session. darn kewl. we were the only club having that prop making. other club have yet to plan for it. hehex. GOOD JOB BE!. sing-a-long was fun. i just love ging-gang-goli. hahax. i was out of breathe trying to beat the other group by shouting oompah. lol. then while the campers were doing the props, i was half cleaning the room and half doing the proposal. and guess what happen to the room?. it was a major renovation!!. ok fine. not a renovation. it was the same room with the same cupboards and the same bean bags. but there are lesser stuff in the room now. lots of junks have been thrown away. and this time. I GOT MY OWN TABLE!!. yep. it is my very own TABLE. they are giving it to me since i m the secretary of the club. very cool!! dont blame me for getting hype out and all. the last position of the table was not condusive enough. everyone passing the BE room love to knock on the window panel. so when im doing my work, it is quite irritating hearing to knocks but do not know who the hell did that. now. not anymore!!. AH!!!. i love BE room even more. thanks to those who have help out to clean the room. people like alvin, riz, jj, sky, rong fa, ama, val and everyone else who play a part in cleaning the room. THANKS!!.

well. i slept at 4 am in clubhouse. i was actually planning not to sleep in the first place. i just put the sleeping bag on my knees and put my head on it to just rest for awhile. but val and ama make me sleep on the floor, with sleeping bag laid. hahax. i get this gut feeling that they are worried. even abu and farhan look worried over my well-being. really thanks for the care. love you guys.

woke up at 6. hahax. slept back. it was freaking dark. lol. and freezing cold. i have with me my jacket and val chanbarra uniform just to keep myself warmth. well. it was warm after i have the uniform and jacket on me. but not when i was with my jacket. it was totally cold. i was shivering. hahax. val was there next to me when i woke up due to the cold. thanks again val!! when i woke up, mat was sleeping next to me. his classmate, erm, forgot one of them and cedric was on the day bed. well it used to be a day bed. but not anymore. hahax. nvm. skye was on the other side of the room. really hurdled up in his sleeping back. oh. this is just for skye to see: your alarm was really irritating. fancy putting THATS HOW YOU KNOW has your alarm sound. woke me a few time from sleep. sheesh.

well. 7 i went to bath. with val following me. she slept on the bench of the toilet. poor thing. she never even sleep during the night. gosh. i was about to fall asleep after a bath. so val tried all ways to make me stay awake. lol. quite hilarious though. farhan and abu join in her scheme. i wanted to just take a small nap on the bean bag. they did not allow me to do so. the both of us then when to eat at foodcourt 3 for breakfast. having traveled by ferry so many time, i know that i will definitely barf if i m on empty stomach while traveling on the ferry. hahax. ordered hot milo with toast and 2 half boiled eggs. really nice to have it especially when you wake up to a cold morning and going to travel to the southern island of singapore.

well. went to marina south pier after that. took a ferry to st john island. everyone , i think, fell asleep in the ferry. gosh. everyone was tired. all except for doug since he missed the props making session. it was quite fun though at st john island. the place is freaking nice. the scenery and all. i have to say. for a campsite, the place was way beyond the expectation i had for the campsite. seriously nice place i m telling you. i cant wait for lezlie to post the pictures onto BE blog. hahax. take a look out for that.

when i reach to mainland, i straight away met my cousin to go to malaysia. hahax. felt asleep throughout my journey there. when i reach my cousin house i just freshened myself then throw myself to the bed in one of her guest room. the next thing i know it was bbq time. lol. lots of food and laughter. whats with my other cousins coming over also. hahax. darn kewl.

well then. that is all. i stay over my cousin house. settled a few things. came back to singapore today. i had fun all in all. ooh. cant wait for my upcoming KL trip with them. yep. 20 dec to 24 dec 07 i wont be in singapore. at last i m going holiday. i really deserve this trip what with all the events and stresses and all. hahax..

well till the next entry then.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-12-05T15:06:00.000+08:00

yesh!.
just revamp my blog. hahax. gosh. i really love this colour. black and red. totally cool ah?. it gave this feeling of being emotional but at the same time loving. ok. nevermind. i will just think whatever i want to think.

guess what?. the doctor that i saw just now said i was merely stress up over school work. that is why i m falling sick. WOW!. like as if i did not know that. everytime i visit the polyclinic, the doctor will keep saying that i m stress up. DORTZ!. now my mom is nagging at me for being too involved in the school stuff. she make me stay at home instead of meeting the rest of the organizing committee for a sing-a-long session which will be later at 5.30 pm. URGH!. now my whole body is itching to go out. i cant stay at home. it is so noisy that i cant do anything much. well except to revamp my blog, youtubing and watch movie. i m telling you, i m already sick of doing those by now.

ok. i m missing everyone in school. ah!!. i want to go to school. this is my first time i skip the whole day of school. usually if i skip class i will somehow still come to school. no matter how sick i was. always doing my school stuff at school. never at home. i just lose concentration if i do at home. hmm.. instead of spending 1 hour doing economics, i will definitely spend the 1 hour sketching some stupid drawing. it will be ok if it is for my design project. but it is not at all!. gosh. procrastinating too much.

well. i think i better start doing some work. then can finish everything by tonight. yup.

missing him.
is hurting me.
why cant i just let you go.
and let me be who i am?
why is it so hard to do so?

ll.aishah.ll

2007-12-04T22:18:00.000+08:00

i officially declare myself as being very sick as of today. being in class was a torture. i cant breathe properly due to my coughing and nose block. even worst. while walking towards the bus interchange, i almost black out yet again. thank gawd my friend was there supporting me. if not i wonder where i would be now. haiz. i m so going to see the doctor at the polyclinic tomorrow. i think the nurse there will be like ' ok, it is this girl again. seeing the doctor.' gosh

this whole week and last have been really hectic. i slept at 2 am just to get some stuff done. if not for school work, it will be my art work. AH!!. submission for my art work is this friday. i wonder if i can get it even half done. sheesh. it is my final year project some more. haiz. back in secondary school, i can do a 6 month project withing one week since secondary school was quite relax. but now in poly?. gosh. after tutorial, there are projects. after projects there will be event. ah!!. it never end. hmm. nvm. tomorrow will spend my time doing them. why in the world did i chose the theme gothic for a dinner also?. i m really out to kill myself.

ok. i want to sleep already. eating the current medicine i have now really makes one drowsy. that is why i will never take the medicine before i come to school or during school time. ah. *yawn*.

i will never forget the touch
the sensational touch you created on me
it will always be remembered no matter how hard i tried to forget it
it will be etched in my heart forever

ll.aishah.ll

2007-11-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

just reached home.gosh m i feeling burn out. even if i skip econs tutorial, the tiredness is still there. whats more, tomorrow another whole day in school. haiz

as of today, i regard my doctor as my godfather. hahax. he was practically laughing his heart out when i ask him that. my face was red because of that. i mean, half of my time, other then spending it in school and at home, i spend it on hospital check up. and this doctor of mine, being a cool dude, was really entertaining me during my check up no matter how dead the check up was. he tell me his experience back in oxford university. yup. he is from oxford. how cool is that?. then he told me his love life. don't know why he told me also. hahax. i m like a nobody to him. but he just tell me nevertheless. even met his girlfriend. very pretty lady. yup. sophisticated. wait. did i wrote this i my previous entry?. whatever.

medicine after medicine. doctor was nagging at me for joining physical sport. i mean, i was just randomly playing captain ball for BE club. but he nagged like nobody business. on top of that, he add an additional of 2 other medicines. gosh. i m like eating altogether 6 medicine. and i thought 4 was enough. sheesh.

on top of all the nagging, i still have my projects piling up on my study table here. wait. i can't even call my study table a table. i don't even have space to do anything on it. hahax. it is filled with notes. and notes. and more notes. yup

had foc meeting just. had the best laugh ever. its cool to be in a team of organizer who are very enthusiastic. totally. had dinner together also. we really are a bunch of idiots if you ask me. hahax.

at last. we have finalize the venue for ADD. yup.
date: 22 feb 208
time: 6.30 pm - 11pm
venue: grand copthorne waterfront hotel
tix price: $55

we have unofficially start selling tickets for ADD as of today. trying to meet the quota of 10 table. yeap. we can do this. all the way ADD organizing committee. without you guys, i will be really lost. so c'mon. a bit more to go before reaching our ultimate goal. erm. what is that again? gosh.

copthorne was really not what i expected. i had thought it will be grand and all. but nope. it was really cosy. darn nice for relaxing. i don't mind paying $55 for that place lah. really worth it to me.

i cant get through what is inside his head?. what is it that he really want?. i m totally lost. one moment, he was there for me. the next he disappeared. now he reappeared again. i m lost and confuse. can you tell me what exactly you want me to go through? please don't get me hurt again. i have enough of it. i was just leading a normal life, even though i was hurt deep inside. please don't get me fooled.

what is there in store for me?
why can't i just lead a normal life like others?
why must the problem lies with me?
ll.aishah.ll

2007-11-24T20:43:00.000+08:00

just got back from east coast park. gosh. we cycled for 4 freaking hours. hahax. we actually book for 2 hours, but got another 2 hours for free. so yeah. we cycled for 4 hours. and i m telling you, i m totally tired. beat. with cramps all over the body. sheesh. hahax. i wonder if by any chance i get to go with abu to check out the price of the lucky draw. urmph. we (me, ama, ubai, farhan, rege, alwyn and riz) cycled from one end of the beach to the other end. it was that freaking long that ama learnt how to cycled. yay to ama. hahax. the day was fun actually. gosh. you know i cant believed i told my mom there was a briefing on standard chartered event at ECP. i feel like a liar. well. i guess i m now since i lied to her. hmm.better tell her what exactly i did at ECP. gosh. but i know i tell her the venue correctly. yup.

anyway. yesterday was the sp superstar. actually my plan there was to support alia, BE singer. yep. i m telling you, i just love her voice. she sang animal instinct and stupid cupid, my favourite, and gosh, was it nice. i mean. yeah. tough competition with all the good singers coming together singing as representatives of the school. but she came on top. well she got 2nd runner up and gosh was i proud of her. she really made BE club proud. 3 cheers for alia. hahax. well 1st runner up was reza from smit while champion was the duo from smit also. you see. BE can do it. i mean, alia got third place during the BE - SD talentime to marina and this guy whom i forgot his name. she beat them flat. they werent even in the top 6. 3 cheers again for alia. hahax.

ooh. alia just got me addicted to the song stupid cupid by mandy moore. well below is the video. enjoy.

2007-11-19T22:59:00.000+08:00

i m so piss. PISS. PISS. who the FARKING hell he think he is?. why in the world are you trying to RUIN MY DAY!!!. who in the right mind gave you that privilege to do so? . why oh why must u make me feel like KILLING YOU NOW?. one semester ago i find that you were a great leader. the person who i look upon on. now?. i feel like STEPPING and just STABBING YOU. feel the pleasure of seeing your blood being spilled out of your body. URGH!. i have never hate people. but now you are making me hate you.

i was actually planning to update my blog which is now accumulating spider web until i received that darn email. sure is darn thing to get it. now i don't feel like doing anything. i m like writing all the vulgarities on the paper like nobody business. urgh.

a ruin day.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-11-12T22:28:00.000+08:00

i cannot take it anymore. without medicine. urgh. my head is spinning so badly that i cant even think straight. now of all time it have to happen. the time where i am suppose to do lots of thinking for all the event i m holding. why didnt i go to hospital yesterday to get the darn medicine. urgh.

as my head is spinning, i m making every effort to type an entry. apart from not having medicine, i m kinda piss with someone. this certain someone really know how to get into my nerve. demanding as ever ah?. i spend time and quality on the club. and this is how i was treated?. wow. i dont need sympathy and all. but a little bit of understanding will be enough if you ask me. just a bit, so that you can bloody understand what the hell i m going through now. you are making me piss over the slightest thing now. urgh.

i m hating every moment now. i m feeling aghast on everything. can someone please just come up to me, hit on my head and tell me to wake up?. time is short. i should be enjoying every moment now. not getting angry over the slightest thing. sheesh. aishah WAKE UP!! JUST ENJOY LIFE.

that i have to say can be easily concluded as impossible to happen even though i promise to do so.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-11-11T20:52:00.000+08:00

parents kept in the dark.
because of that, i feel like i am an unfilial child. gosh. they are my parents. they should know what exactly i am going through right?. what the doctor said and all. the results. the life span. they should know. but why cant i just tell them exactly. something inside me is stopping from telling them. one day they will eventually find out. they will. i can sense that. when and how is still make unknown. i will have to gather my courage to tell them personally before they hear from somebody else. but when will that be?.

i am currently at Malaysia. hahax. brought my laptop along with me since i am going straight to school once i return from malaysia. my aunt. got really sick. ok. fine. she is not exactly my aunt. she is like my great aunt the favourite of all among all my other aunts in my father family chart. she was the one who told me the story of how the life of a chinese lady and a malay man intertwined together. that is my grandparents if you are still clueless. hmm. love the story that she told me. always made me want to have that kind of love they had. hmm..

well. school start again tomorrow. gosh. i dun really feel like going to school if you ask me. hmm. right after mst we are back to our normal schedules. tutorial. projects. lectures. the boring stuff. better learn to get on by. hmm..

well. going off soon. watching heroes. yep. totally hooked now. i am like left with 3 more episodes before i can start watching heroes season 2. season 1 has been darn good. i wonder how season 2 is going to be.hmmmm..

ll.aishah.ll

2007-11-09T17:35:00.000+08:00

its a wonder how just a single picture bring back all the memory that you tried so hard to forget. was just looking through the gyl camp photo and the last gathering we had. those pictures are enough to bring tears to my eyes. well, i guess i m being rather emotional here. but who gives a damn. hmm. emotional. sheesh. better wipe off this tears before my mom start asking me anything.

i feel like just going back into time. back to the gyl camp to be precise. it was that moment that changes me. it was that moment that i find myself wanting to experience more than just being love. it was that moment that i thought theres a guy who love me for whom i m. it was just that moment. now everything changes. i guess i can adept to changes better than some people. well at least that is what i m feeling now. i m continuing life like as if he never exist, though i still yearn for him. contradicting uh?. well who give a damn shit of what i m going through.

had a mini gyl lunch gathering just now. gosh. it is totally fun meeting up again all this people. miss them alot. how can i not?. they were the one who thought me to say ROCK ON (leonard), accept the fact that i m distorted (the guys), singing susu ball (jondave), how a guy become a gay (again the guys), the 'go fly kite' song (the girls), how to get darn high (everyone) and to know who to lean on when you are in need. actually there is alot more that i learn here, apart from being the class committee and all. but too many to list down, so i just cant be bothered to list it down. some of these are memories which are difficult to be deleted away, so you wont hear me talking about it so often. oh yeah. i want more gyl gathering!!

at very last, i have told ama and shiffa. now i dont feel quite burdensome of not telling anyone from sp. hahax. thanks for listening in to me. really can feel the care from the both of you. dont worry so much about me ay?. especially shiffa. you make it sound like as if i m leaving anytime now. hahax. i guess skye will be wondering what i tell them ah?. knowing skye. hahax. well then, if you are reading this, ask the two of them ok?. i have told them to tell you if you ask them. hmm.

life is very contradicting. you feel like this but want to do another way. hmm. yup. totally contradicting. i m like contradicting words now myself. lol.

loving him has never been the same as loving any other person. this feeling is neutral at time.
explosive at others. and hurtful at time. the ignorance game has already started seeing the way
you treated me just now. i get it now. i know where i stand. and i know just what to do.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-11-08T21:10:00.000+08:00

hurt is what i am feeling right now.
tortured is what i get everytime i see you.
hate start burning in me for loving you
suicidal is what i feel like doing now

today. holiday. at last i get to feel holiday. after mugging for test and all. gosh. and today. i woke up at 1230. my well deserved sleep have been obtain after all the sleepless night. hahax

ok. i have been watching heroes eversince i reach home from school yesterday. and now, sad to say. i m hooked to it. gosh. it is really a nice tv series. the first episode - genesis. darn. it is really good. i do not know how they manage to come up with the story line. wish i had that kind of power. maybe the ability to read people mind. then i can hear what they are thinking. gosh. hahax.

went to my cousin house today for a mini birthday party celebration for my nephew. hmm. i realise one thing. my cousin really notice me. ok. i dont know how to rephrase it actually. hmm. everything they did or have, the first thing they do is to offer it to me first. not to my aunt or anything lah. felt weird i guess.

well then. going to continue watching the heroes again. finish loading at last. gosh

did you even notice wherever i am?
did you even care to do so?
will you even think of me more than what you think of me now?
or will you just continue to do so?

ll.aishah.ll

2007-11-07T19:47:00.000+08:00

i m pissed with myself for thinking of him. why cant i forget him as easily as some of my friend did to their ex?. what is it that make him so special that i cant forget him. i return home today feeling a mixed emotion. angry. sad. jealous. every other emotion but happiness. contradicting my promises to my friend where i promise to be happy no matter what. i hate this feeling. i hate it. who ever like when the guy you like are around every other girl but you. i want to forget him. i m tired of waiting. i m tired of feeling this anguishment. i m sick and tired for having anything that has got to do with him. shouldn't i deserve something better? why cant i just feel the love?why him of all people? it is so easy to fall for him. but why isn't it easy to fall out of this feeling?. why? i m tired of everything.

grouchiness is what i m feeling now. having received only 10 hours of sleep for the past few days had me this way. distorted is what i think best describe. i get hurt easily. i get emotional easily. and i get to laugh so easily that i think people think i m mad. mst. get over and done with. one more to go. and it is a hip hip hurray for me. before i start worrying for the add.

add. sheesh. no one realize this. but i m at the panic mode now. in 3 months time, we are holding the add. in 3 months time. and still do not have any venue. freaking venue. why of all thing the problem lies at the venue? once the venue is settled, everything will fallen into place. entertainment will be a ready-to-go thanks to weilin and evelyn. lucky draw list is done. theme is chosen. budget pending due to the venue. door gift ideas have already been thought off. so why now the venue?. i hate it when the initial plan have been rejected due to safety measure. sheesh. aren't we old enough to take care of ourselves?. the idea was darn good till someone have to reject it. wth.

installed autocadd after 5 weeks in school. gosh. thanks val for following me to the spice desk then to t302b to help me with it. gosh. i m so totally clueless on what i was suppose to do for my laptop. val was the one answering all my question. thanks again val. don't know what i would have done if i was alone.

i collected five light stick from the farewell party just now. sheesh. people must have thought i am nuts since they are like throwing the light stick away while i was going around collecting it. lol

having hard time trying not to see him. even heart pain when he never acknowledge me. like i was merely a wall there. how about this - maybe we play the ignorance game?. we ignore each other and we'll see who lasted the longest. is that what you want?. well if that is it, then you are on.i ignore you. you ignore me. true, the heart hurts. but i want to see that you feel the hurts of what you have been doing to me as much as i feel.

ok. my post are quite random. i need my sleep. thank gawd tomorrow is deepavali. sleeping in till afternoon before having to go my cousin house for the birthday party. ooh. i cant wait for my 18th birthday party which my parents promised me. been such a long time since i last have a party. the last time was like when i was 4 years old?. hahax. it went way back then. i still have the favourite giraffe doll that i got during that party. gosh.

to ama and shiffa -
there are things about me that i think its time for you to know also. it will be unfair not to tell you guys since you are practically like the bestest friends i have, well apart from my secondary school clique. this thing that i m going to tell you, is best to tell personally. even my parents don't even know about it. the only 2 other person who know about this are my 2 closest friends from secondary school. so i think you should know about this. however do remind me to tell you, k? i always forget to tell you all whenever i meet you guys. gosh.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-11-06T14:37:00.001+08:00

Heartbreak

There's no use in weeping,
Though we are condemned to part:
There's such a thing as keeping,
A remembrance in one's heart...

Love Life

The person who tries to live alone
will not succeed as a human being.
His heart withers
if it does not answer another heart.
His mind shrinks away
if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts
and finds no other inspiration.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-11-06T13:43:00.000+08:00

MST week. sheesh. i seriously do think that my course should be a project based course. where we have event after avent. just like the architecture and landscape architecture student. drawing after drawing they have to produce. wouldnt it be better for us?. rather than sitting on the chair writing all the stuff we studied like hell the night before than throwing all of them away once we graduates. i mean. i can see the need of studying the theory of everything, since we need theory to do practical. but i just dont get it why must we sit for the paper also?. will it be applicable in the working life. at the very least event management communication is going somewhere. doing proposal and brochure. should do more of that instead of studying economics. or even illuminance level of the light. sheesh.

gosh. that is very random. the lack of sleep have made me grouchy and insane. i slept the maximum of only 4 hours everyday for the past day. last week i slept late to really study the concept of every module i am taking. now i m sleeping like at 2 am just to do last minute revision.

and guess what lack of sleep led to?. late to school of course. yep. freaking late just now. usually on a test week i will wake up at 5 am. do a bit of revision and leave for school at about 630 am. early yes. but at least i would not be late. today. i woke up at about 715 am. yes. 715am. after a very quick bath and all (it is darn quick that my mom thought i did not even touch the water. merely brush my teeth. sheesh. never will i do that. getting ready and all, with no hair cream on my hair and not properly put on make up, i just left the home. it was 730 am by then. i was in tears. well not exactly crying. about to if you ask me. my dad volunteered to send me to the mrt station. ok. one obstacle pass. now. what am i going to do about the train?. freaking 45 mins. sheesh. well, i ended up taking the taxi. a very risky thing i m telling you. peak hour is one thing. and the 2 bucks charge was another. and i brought only like 20 bucks to school. haiz. oh. yeah. totally forgot. my junior came all the way to my house to pass me this cow doll. gosh. i totally forgot i was late for school then. he is so totally shweet. thanks alot A. hahax ok. back to my marvelous story. well. late. clementi pie was heavy traffic, so i went around, meaning going to amk towards thompson road and all. sheeh. there also was heavy traffic. i just read my notes quietly in the taxi. i guess the taxi driver can send my anguishment. speeding through the way. at one point almost had an accident. darn. well. i reach the school just on time. the class was just reading through the paper first. the 10 min reading time. thank god for that. use to think why do we even need that. now i guess i know what it is for. and guess what?. the stuff i studied in the taxi came out. hahax. gas discharge. glare. discomfort. reflectance. i was smiling my way through the paper. i just hope i will do as well as i think it will be. and for econs also. hmm..

well. to jondave and A. HAPPPY BIRTHDAY. to A. i know i promise to get you a present. dont worry, i will still get for you. it is a promise. just need some time. lots of thing to buy for next month. and i just use up my this week allowance on the appreciation dinner ticket and the taxi fare. sheesh. be patient eh.

life has been unfair for me . it is not as what i expected. though i can just continue with my life thinking that i got a long journey ahead when i dont. life revolving around tubes and doctors, nurses, injection and medicine is never a nice thing. positive thinking is now a must for me. i will live my life to the fullest. making sure i did everything without regret. let me fufil my wish and dreams before the time is up. thanks phoe and ron for the support you have been giving me. lets just keep this secret among the three of us. i will try to make myself the happiest girl alive on earth despite obstacle and problems. cheer me on, k?

well then. better continue with my revision. two more paper to go and i will be done. project management and cadd. all the way. all the way.

to all student who are currently having MST. study hard eh?.
jiayou.
we can for sure do it.
gosh. so random.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-10-30T21:20:00.000+08:00

gosh..
i think i can just use blog as my place to tell people my favourite songs. hahax.
lolx. well anyway. he is hot. jd. totally when he played basketball. gosh. why m i looking at him again?. shouldnt i be like trying to avoid doing so?. gosh. that is so typical me. any good idea on how to forget him. anyone?. i can go nut nowadays because out of nowhere i will be thinking about him. sheesh.

anyway.
love story by katharine mcphee. totally nice song. and she is hot also. c'mon guys. you will totally agree with me even if you try denying it. hehex. well enjoy.

Online Videos by Veoh.com

LOVE STORY
by katharine mcphee

Oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh ah
oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh ah

I think it was the summer time
When I laid eye's on you
I didn't even know you're name
Some how we'd end up in the same room
Never crossed my mind
I never saw you like that
I should've listened to my best friend
She knew we'd be a perfect match

It's a typical love story
We started out as friends
We met way back when
This is just a
Typical love story
The boy you never wanted
Just steals your heart
I never saw it comin'
Till I fell so hard

Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh ah

I always made up some excuse
Sayin' that you weren't my type
Didn't wanna face the truth
Didn't wanna cross that line
Till one day I saw you
Out of the corner of my eye
You were flirting with some girl
And I said I thought I would die

It's a typical love story
We started out as friends
(friends)
We met way back when
(when)
This is just a typical love story
The boy you never wanted
Just steals your heart
I never saw it comin'
Till I fell so hard

Can't believe it's happening
When I least expect it
My prince under disguise
How you fooled me with those eyes
When I feel like letting go
In your arms is where I know
I am (don't know what she says there)
From the beginning
We always belong

Love Love Story Love
Love Story Love
Love Story Love
Love Story Love
Love Story Love
(This is my)
Love Story Love
(This is my Love Story)
Love Story love
Love Story Love
This is my Love Story

It's a typical love story
We started out as friends
This is how it ends
This is just a
Typical love story
The boy you never wanted
Just steals your heart
I never saw it comin'
Till I fell so hard

It's a typical love story
We started out as friends
This is how it ends
This is just a
Typical love story
The boy you never wanted
Just steals your heart
I never saw it comin'
Till I fell so hard

Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh ah
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh ah

2007-10-28T18:05:00.000+08:00

ok.. abmit it. this song really make me move. it is so groovy.
thx phoe for intro me this song. =)

LADIES NIGHT
by nina sky feat ivey queen

Nina Sky]
I steped up in the party boy i can see you
calling cuz your eyes are on my body and it shows.
i know that you want it not a dance for me to flawn it.
you want me to show you whats under my clothes. (my clothes)

[Chorus]
everytime you come around boy i cant control it,
oh dont want to move fast slow down
now i know you want to see how far im gonna take it.
you must be mistaken i dont want no...

Ivy queen:(hook)
papi no te crea que contigo va bailar,
la noche es buena pa mujeres disfrutar, let me know nina sky ivy, queen si tu quiere te lo canto
en reggaeton no permitas que pierdas el control dejamelo ami

[Nina Sky]
now im feeling hot and bottom you making me feel like i want you
but i know this cant go down here tonight,
cuz we just came here to party not to stay out with nobody,
im not leaving here with you up on my side.

[Chorus]
everytime you come around, boy i cant controll it,
oh dont want to move fast slow down now i know you want to see how far
im gonna take it. you must be mistaken i dont want no...

[Ivy Queen]:(hook)
papi no te crea que contigo va bailar,
la noche es buena pa mujeres disfrutar,
let me know nina sky, ivy queen si tu quiere te lo canto en reggaeton
no permitas que pierdas el control dejamelo ami

[Ivy Queen]
a ti te gusta cuando bailo, cuando lo canto,
oye mi coro hoy te quedas solo papi, entra al pari baby,
quiero bailar, la noche es de mujeres y se hizo pa gozar
mi cuerpo a ti te provoca, pero yo quiero bailar y cuando escuches mi canto
en mi siempre pensaras

[Nina Sky]
its ladies night lets get it start it. come on girls move your body fast or shake it slow ohhh...
chorus:
everytime you come around boy i cant controll it,
oh dont want to move fast slow down now i know you want to see how far
im gonna take it. you must be mistaken i dont want no

2007-10-28T17:42:00.000+08:00

yesh!!!. i got the whole house to myself. the whole family went to malaysia for hari raya. gave the reason that test is coming so need to study. but ended up watching movies after movies all by myself. without mum nagging. siblings quarrelling. listening sis smarling at you. or even better, fighting with your dad. yesh. at last.

well. todae went out with phoe. hahax. went to canberra. which is practically in sembawang. lolx. it is a freaking hot day. gosh. i regret wearing jeans. well. went to jelutang community centre. if i m not mistaken. hahax. nothing much there. collect some stuff. then we took a bus to yishun int.

and here is where the shopping begins. ok. northpoint and yishun. i been like practically leaving in yishun for the past 17 years of my life. in 5 month time it will be 18 years. lolx. my dad leave here like 21 years of his life. my mom 19 years. gosh. why in the world m i stating the years and all. dortz. anyway. by now, i m like practically sick of northpoint. i can practically list down the shop available in northpoint. that is how sick and frequent i went to northpoint. but gosh. i tell you. when it come to sales, ah, i just love coming to northpoint. the thing about northpoint is that the sales always a surprise. i mean the GSS is definitely a yes there. but i never shop during that period of time. gosh. the price are like practically same. it is this stock sale thingy that i love the most. you know, when shops have to clear their stocks to stack in new ones?. well yeah. those are the time i love. that is when the discount start from 50% onward. lolx.

well. today is one of the day. hahax. i bought two set of contact lens. use for 2 months. brown colour somemore. i bought this vest for a freaking $5. gosh. it was on sale. so i just buy and buy. but since i did not bring much money, thinking that i wont shop so much, i just brought this stuff. with lots and lots of food. hahax. i think i will go back at night and shop all by myself. hahax. no boundaries. and no parents stopping you from buying stuff. yeah..

hahax.

ok

i m seriously going nuts. to phoe: lets have an outing soon with the monkeys once they finish their Os ay?. can wear the vest together. and kesha can also wear it with us. hahax. 3 different colours: white(me), purple(u) and pink(kesha). gosh. this is so totally kewl. oh and i realise, you never took photo like you always do. lolx..

ll.aishah.ll

2007-10-28T00:05:00.000+08:00

INCOSOLABLE
by Backstreet Boys

I close the door
Like so many times, so many times before
Felt like a scene on the cutting room floor
When I let you walk away tonight
Without a word

I try to sleep, yeah
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me
A thousand more regrets unraveling, ohh
If you were here right now, I swear,
I'd tell you this

CHORUS:
Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all i ever want, it comes right down to you
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

I climb the walls
I can see the edge but I can't take the fall, no.
I've memorized the number
So why can't I make the call?
Maybe 'cause I know you'll always be with me
In the possibility

CHORUS:
Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

I don't want to be like this,
I just want to let you know,
Everything that I'm holding,
Is everything I can't let go, can't let go.

CHORUS:
Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

Don't you know it baby
I don't want to waste another day

I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

2007-10-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

i was practically stoning the whole day today. true, lots of my relatives came by to my house for hari raya. but my mind and soul wasnt on the event itself. i was thinking to myself. what the hell am i doing to my life?. why am i even thinking about him after what he done to me?. why still even yearn for him. isnt he a worthless piece of s***?.

well. i did lots of thinking despite my stoning. i ask myself why did i do all those things i have been doing?. why didnt i think of the future when i was doing such things?. gosh. regretting now is too late. coz it had happen. it has pass. the event is now in past tense. no more in futre or present tense.

after sorting out my thinking, i realise, i still love him no matter how hurtful he cause my heart. i still love him. hurtful, but memorable. it is a piece of puzzles that cannot be deleted from my mind. or memory. the sensation he created when he touch me. when he kiss me. when he cuddle me. when he hug me. it was the first ever thing i ever experience. and for me. first experience always leave a mark in my heart. a mark that cannot be erase. it will be there permanently.

i love him from the bottom of my heart. i still do. hurtful words he say, but i really do love him. it is because of him i learn a valuable lesson. think before doing something. think. you just cant lose it expecially in the presence of guys. but sometime you just lose it. ask me why. go on. ask me. well i tell you why. we just lose it because we feel insecure and this guys make us feel the security. well. that is what i feel.

friends have help me to get back on with life. i had my short stop. but now i am back to the hectic world. i can never forget him. that is for sure. but i would not let him hinder my journey of life. there will be times where jealousy will just came. or even sadness. but it will affect me only for a short period of time. it will be so short that no one will notice any difference.

i will continue loving him until i find someone who is as comparable as him. not in term of his hurtful words and all. but his heart. the security he create when i was with him. i just need those.i just need a person who i can depend on and love me. who will care for me and ensure that i am at the very least fine.

gosh. why in the world i m preachin my own thoughts. sheesh. just ignore whatever i said. i myself dont know what the hell i am talking about. see, what happen when you stoned to much. lolx..

ll.aishah.ll

2007-10-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

ok..

i guess it is time for me to update my blog. i can practically see spider crawling around my blog. gosh. hahax.

well life have been practically the same. except that i have the tendency to be emo. hahax. gosh. that is the only problem with me. i emo too much. hahax. it is like there are places that just remind me of him. and i m telling you, i m trying the best that i could to just forget him. on bus, i remember him. at habour front, his face just appear in my head. when couple walk pass, i just remember the way he hold my hand. gosh. believe me, i m doing the best that i could to forget him. i guess not all memories could be wipe off easily. those time we spent were one of them. those, well, i have to admit, were one of the happiest moment in my life. where i feel appreciated and love. well only for that moment. after that it is like practically torturing. dortz.

anyway, apart from trying to stay away from my dad to avoid fights and quarrel, i have been seriously behind time for my revision. in 2 wks time, i will be sitting for my term test. N I M NOT AT ALL READY. well true, i have been revising at home. but somehow i feel the revision is not enough. well. nevermind then. just cant wait for the sleepover with ama n shiffa during the e-learning week. it will be a private gurl party. and intense revision. hahax.

well.. wednesday, riz, shiffa, ama, skye, ubai, farhan and abu came over my house. hahax. celebrate hari raya. since my family wont be at home on sunday. hahax. went over to ama house first. gosh. her house is damn kewl. the decor and all. totally awesome. came over my house, they ate bone stick. hahax. nice experience ah skye?
lolx.

well.. then, thursday add meeting. well. themes is still masquerade. gosh. the idea is kinda kewl now. though we are having trouble searching for venue. lolx.

fri. the night walk. damn was i piss off. especially with the campers. who do they think they are throwing off vulgar words so easily?. gosh. if i was really a ghost, i will just haunt them down till they ... . really piss off by them. and i really dressed up like a retard. hahax. my hair were stiff and all over the place. with powder put on my face. gosh. i will be scared to suddenly see my reflection in the dark. lolx. well we, as in me and the be members, slept in the clubhouse. well we cant like go home at 4 am in the morn rite?. hahax. so we slept in the clubhouse. freaking cold i m telling you.the floor. the air con. but damn was it fun. at last i get to sleep in the clubhouse. hahax. had like macdonald breakfast early in the morning. half asleep, i cut my hotcakes like as if i was about to murder someone. lolx.

sat. be outing. the supposedly. gosh. the planner of the event could not even make it for the event lah. imagine. your event. you plan for it. and then, on the day. you did not come. all your hardwork planning. totally wasted. gosh. well. again. i was emo-ing at sentosa. thanks to my parents. sheesh. was hoping to get tan. well i guess there wasnt much different. dortz.

sun. hari raya outing. totally kewl. every house i ate. and damn was the food nice. hahax. sheesh. thx for the food everyone!. hahax. had total fun. yup.

well then. i tink i better go sleep now. tmr will be another long day for me. haiz.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-10-18T21:31:00.000+08:00

just surfin the net..
wen i got into this website..
kinda kewl if u ask me..
hahax..
look at wic artist look like me..

lolx.

2007-10-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

new blog skin.

hoping for a new life.
with definitely a new vision.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-10-11T19:54:00.000+08:00

it appears that the time has come and gone. a few days ago, i wouldn't mind staying in school just to look at him. but now i dread coming to school and have to see him. and even worst. he really hurt me now big time. a msg that definitely change my mood. well what can i say. i guess i deserve it. uh.. should have not hope for the best. should not have even think of hoping. i should just be there and pretend that the night had never happen. but why couldn't i do so?.

to ama, rege and everyone in the clubhouse who tried to cheer me just now. thank you very much. especially to that SMA guy who just randomly come up to me and tried to joke even when i was crying real badly there. ok. at that time, i find the joke unhumourless. but now to think of it, it is actually funny. thank you. to xiao ming aka kelvin, who was the first to pat my back. thank you. well in actual fact, it actually made me cry even more. but hey. now my heart feel much better. the pain that i initially felt ceased away. to ama who was there half hugging me. thank you. without that, i dont think i was able to control my tears. to rege and abu. thanks for your advice. and last but not least to skye. thanks for the cheer. even when you are hurrying for your dance sport, you had made the effort to actually tell me to cheer up. thank you for that.

Thank you everyone for doing this. i guess without you guys, i would not know where i will be.

now you see. i can live without you. i can survive without you. and why is this so?. because i got wonderful friends all around me. advising and supporting me. it is because of them that i am able to carry on.

hate to say this, but i think its best we dont even acknowledge each other now. it hurts me even worst now. when you said bye when i left the school just now, my heart start to burn. tears start welling up in my eyes. but i remember the support my friends have given me. making me control. i guess it is better this way.

i am going to start a new life without thinking of you anymore. enough is enough. i thought i could change your perception or whatever you think it was. but i thought wrong. let me start a new life now. without you intruding or even coming back to my life.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-10-10T21:34:00.000+08:00

my life have been different when i get to know you. but now. i feel that i should not have meet you. i regret it. you made me hope. true you have state your stand, but still those time we spend together made me have high hope and also make me feel that i could change your stand. i hope. and still hoping. but now. i realised. i m just a toy for you to play. those moments. those touches. were done so for yourself and not for us. it makes me go nuts thinking and waiting every night that we will do it again. every night i will stay next to my phone, hoping and wishing you will just msg me asking how was my day. caring for me. but it never happen. every night i went to sleep, disappointed. what happen to all the promises you promised me?. what happen to all your sweet talk about treating me right?. want to know what i feel about all this?. i feel its a waste of my precious time, saliva and moment. i feel wasted trying to make you realize how i feel for you. there were times where i wished you were never there for me at all. but then again. i think it back. then, how was i to know how to handle if ever i meet this kind of people in the future?. so i guess now is the time for me to learn my lesson.

do you even know, everytime, when i msg you and you never even bothered to reply back, i cried my lungs out?. i will cry till i sleep. the next morning my eyes will be sore. but did you notice?. of course not. i put a very thick foundation just to hide the blocthiness on my face. every day you see me. you say hi. well yeah. a cold hi. a hi that you dont seem to sincerely wish. a hi that hurt me everytime i see you. have you ever realise this?. uh.. i doubt so. you hurt me so bad. so so bad that i just feel like killing you - part of me. the other part of me just want to go up to you, cry right in front of you and ask you what the hell you are doing to me. hve to admit, even distorting doesnt feel this bad.

everyone warn me about you. warn me against you. never had i listen to them. i always told them you werent what they thought you were. i thought i know you enough to tell them that. i thought wrong. totally wrong. now. i feel anger burning inside me. hatred. sadness. rejcted. and every other emotion by loved and happy. i tried my very best to be hyper in front of my friends. i always put on my smiley face. laughing over the slightest joke. creating lame jokes, just to make myself pre-occupied. all this while i put on a mask in front of my friends. hoping they did not realised. only one person know what exactly i'm feeling and that is your primary school friend. the one whom you play basketball with. ask him how i feel. i think he will be more than willing to tell you. i have always irritate him with my problem. luckily he was there to listen. if not, i dont think i will still be in this world.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-10-07T13:35:00.000+08:00

gosh..

tis song made me nuts..
love tis song totally man..

wait, i haf post tis sumwhere b4?..
hmm.. hu give the heck...

ah!!!

do you know (the ping pong song)
enrique iglesias

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away.
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know
the lock on the door has changed.

If birds flying south is a sign of changes
At least you can predict this every year.
Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
I can’t get it to speak
Maybe finding all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes to see something about me
I’m standing on the edge and I don’t know what else to give.

Do you know what it feels like loving someone
that’s in a rush to throw you away.

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know
the lock on the door has changed.

How can I love you How can I love you How can I love you
If you just don’t talk to me, babe.

I flow through my act
The question is she needed
And decide all the man I can ever be.
Looking at the last 3 years like I did,
I could never see us ending like this.
Seeing your face no more on my pillow
Is a scene that’s never happened to me.
But after this episode I don’t see,
you could never tell the next thing life could be

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away.
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know
the lock on the door has changed.

Do you know what it feels like loving someone
that’s in a rush to throw you away.
Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know
the lock on the door has changed.

Do you know,
Do you know, Do you know....

2007-10-06T17:37:00.000+08:00

ah...

the second week of school just pass..
n i m telling u..
tis is the darn best week i ever had..
hahax..
ok..

on top of the stressing over add, n coming up term test wic is like in 5 weeks time, i have gotten myself a new clas committee.. hahax.. valerie is the asst class rep while melyssa is the class treasurer.. well i guess it look biased, since the pple i chose were pple whom i m closed to.. but hey.. valerie went gyl camp, so she need to get a taste of how a class committee feel.. n for mel.. well.. i wld not pass this treasury post to a person whom i dun trust.. well then.. for val n mel (hmm.. it sure rhymes).. WELCOME ABOARD TO DEPM/1B/04 CLASS COMMITTEE.. i m tellin u.. i sure feel very tired wen i was the onli one in charge of the class.. haf to do tis.. do that.. now my loads haf been lighten of thx to this pple..

well.. i m oso goin for be prize presentation held on 10 oct 2007.. erm.. went for the briefin at be meeting room.. gosh.. that place is darn nice.. hahax.. thats the problem wen u nvr enter ur school office before.. well.. the lecturers brief 10 of the depm students of wat was going to happen on that day.. hmm.. sumhow i forsee problems.. yep.. problems.. haiz.. nvm.. just wait n c on that day..

ooh.. not forgettin.. BE CLUB HAF OUR OWN EDITORIAL TEAM!!!.. yeah. they are in charge of the yearbook which will b done next yr.. to michelle n carvan.. welcome aboard to the committee..the president n v president.. hmm.. oh n to the others too.. work hard on it aY?.. if ever need help in doin the proposal, just come up to me.. oh.. the sub comm haf a new name now.. PIONEERS!!.. yeah!!.. will make sure the main comm n the pioneers work hand in hand.. yep.. BE RAWKZ..

i realize.. coming to poly changed my life.. ok.. not drastically.. but it gave me a new in sight on frends n schools.. if not for be club.. i dun tink i will b tis nuts man.. i guess foc paid off lah.. i mean.. if i did not c ama signin up for the camp.. i doubt i will know other be students.. yesh... i haf to agree to wat skye n ama said in their blog.. hmm.. hahax.. i can still rmb the first two frend i made during my entrance to poly.. met ama n fauziana.. during enrolment itself... hehex.. then during the camp.. met shiffa n nures.. this are some memories i will not forget.. it will b someting well kept in my head n heart..

well guess wat now.. on top of chairin add, i m now FOC 08/09 project coordinator.. hahax.. n i m tellin u.. right from the bottom of my heart.. i wasnt expecting tis actually.. i thgt being in the add committe is enuff.. now i m in foc.. gosh.. i sure had my doubts initially.. but i look at the others eyes.. they give me some kind of look wic tell me that they are goin to support me no matter wat.. the encouragement that was in their eyes made me said yes to the post that i was given.. i dun even noe that i said that.. gosh.. but to all be club members.. i will make sure FOC will be a success.. n i will try my very best not to let u guys down.. n thx for givin us ur encouragement n supports.. love u all..

hahax.. well oso.. before the reveals of foc comm.. i was alrdy to happy in my hart. hangin out with him really made my day.. gosh..

then.. yesterday.. went to geylang.. ooh. before that.. wen other pple were having gems.. me n ama had actually had a headstart for add.. ooh.. did i tell that our two months of hardwork on plannin haf gone down to waste because our advisor reject the ideas?.. well yeah.. that wat exactly happen.. now.. we haf to start all over again.. to the add comm.. i m really sorry abt tis.. really sorry.. the two months of hardwork u all have put in was sumting i cant pay back in money.. i m really sorry that u all will haf to start over again... lets just work together to make the event a success ay?

well.. back to my geylang story.. yep.. wen geylang with riz, ama, shiffa, abu n farhan.. hahax.. had held out of time shoppin baju kurung for shiffa.. hmm.. then.. my parents send abu n ama.. hahax.. really sorry for the long trip, ama n abu.. i guess my dad took over dosage of medicine that he cant tink properly.. sorry again...

well.. that is all now.. gosh.. m i feelin darn tired now.. fasting.. fasting.. in exactly one week time.. it wil b HARI RAYA!!.. so cant wait for it..

EMOTION TEST

2007-10-02T22:58:00.000+08:00

The answers are at the bottom, BUT
don't cheat..

Then repost this for others to answer..

1. Your favorite color out of: red,
blue, green, yellow.

2. Your first initial?

3. What month were you born in?

4. Which color do you like more:
-black or white?

5. Name one of your friend?

6. Your favorite number?
<2>

7. Do you like flying or driving more?

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean
more?

9. Think of a wish, but don't write
it.

1. If you choose:

Red- You are alert and your life is
full of love.
Black - You are conservative and
aggressive.
Green - Your soul is relaxed and you
are laid back.
Blue- You are spontaneous and love
kisses and affection from the ones you
love and give good advice to those who
are down.
Yellow - You are a very happy person.

2. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and
friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy your life to
the maximum & your love life is soon to
blossom.
S-Z You like to help others and your
future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will go very well
for you and you will discover that
you fall in love with someone totally
unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong
love relationship that will last
forever.
July-Sept: You will have a great year
and will experience a major life-
changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will be
great, and eventually you will find
your soulmate.

4. If you chose:

Black: Your life will take on a
different direction, it will seem hard
at the time but will be the best
thing for you, and you will be glad
for the change.
White: You will have a friend who
completely confides in you and would
do anything for you, but you may not
realize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6. This is how many true friends you
have in your lifetime.

7. If you choose:

Flying: You like adventure.
Driving: You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:

Lake: You are loyal to your friends
and your lover and yourself are very
reserved and not emotional.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like
to please people but have many emotions

9. This wish will come true only if
you repost this:

"Emotion-test. Dont cheat"

2007-09-29T11:15:00.001+08:00

ok..

the first week of sch of pass..now left with 11 more weeks..or something like that lah...wateva..

school hasnt been much pleasurable actually..i have been going home late..the latest was on fri..wich is yesterday.. left the school at abt 9.45 pm.. so i ended up reaching home at about 11pm.. gosh was i tired.. luckily not much haf been done during the first week of school..

well i guess the only thing that i think i will b struggling will b econs.. gosh.. 2 hrs lecture on the first day of school.. i paid full attention for the first hour.. but wen the second part came, i was like.. ah?.. wat the heck is ms lim tokin abt?.. sheesh.. totally clueless.. so i ended up goin hm readin more abt it.. n still i feel so dumb coz i still dun understand wat the heck it is talkin abt lah.. gosh.. mayb i can borrow ron notes on econs.. hmm..

ok fine.. not everyting has not been fun in sch.. i mean.. i had a hell lots of fun during talentime.. the be members are nut case i m tellin u.. sure crowds wasnt that good.. but hey.. mrs sam alwys emphasize.. we can never foresee the crowds lah.. it is not up to us to control them.. but entertainment wise, sheesh.. darn fun.. laugh here.. laugh there.. then we kept cheering.. i guess our camp fever has not exactly depleted away.. hehex.. i got this very feelin that the sd pple might be wonderin wich planet did we came from.. hahax..we shout like nobody business.. even doug join us in.. gosh... BE CLUB RAWKZ!!.. that is all i got to say..

then came tuesday, wednesday and thursday.. hahax.. ok.. my timetable are ok lah.. start class at 10 for mon n tues.. 9 for wed.. 8 for thurs n fri.. hmm.. at the very least.. i end class like before 3 lah... except for fri.. had a whole 2 hours to myself since gems is like at 8 in the morn on thurs.. hmm.. felt that i have been distorting myself.. gosh.. been shouting ROCK ON.. to everyone i see.. hahax.. doug was my no. 1 victim.. hehex.. oh.. n oso skye since we went to gyl.. hmm.. haf to say.. the 3 of us got even more closer ever sing GYL camp.. i mean.. last sem odug onli come to the room provided he was needed to.. now hor.. he just came in to slack with us.. hehex.. very fun guy.. he torture me i torture him.. well i ended up gettin tortured by him actually.. hahax.. then skye.. well.. he get even crazier now.. but nevertheless.. he is kewl.. i kept laughin weneva i m with him.. n doug of course.. n with the depm peeps.. sheesh.. be club members are gettin more united now.. hehex.. this is a very gd news actually.. yeah.. was hopin to c this is be club.. but then again.. it is the first year who are united.. dunno wats up with the second and third year.. hmm..

ok.. i dun find it pleasurable nowadays to come to school because he been like practically avoidin me.. u said frends.. well yeah.. i dun mind that.. but since when frends wun say hi to another frends?.. since wen frends have not acknowledge a frend presence there?.. he, i can easily said.. been avoidin me.. so totally hurt now.. well not physically lah.. but mentally.. so guess wat i did just to make sure i ignore this kind of behaviour?.. well, i distort myself of course.. i admit.. i was behaving flirtatious n all.. not as if i did not notice lah.. i was part of my plan.. but it is not workin that well if u ask me.. grr.. y must this behaviour happen on the first week of school?.. now i dun feel like comin to sch.. even if it try to avoid him at all cost, my mind suddenly just drift to him back again... n not forgettin.. he n shiffa are like in the same class.. n same course as me.. haiz.. it is kinda irritating with this behaviour.. cant focus on one ting for long.. sheesh.. luckily i haf all my frends arnd me makin me laugh n laugh.. it is one thing i can do to try n forget him.. after all the hurtful things he haf done..

well the be club now haf officially launch A BE BLOG!!.. yeah.. BE SPIRIT : EVERLASTING.. hahax.. add is below..

http://www.sp-beclub.blogspot.com

wonder if i haf mention abt this in my last entry.. hmm..

aniwae.. last sun.. a day b4 school reopen.. had bbq with the other gyl peeps.. gosh do i miss them.. well, some did not came.. like nigel n leonard.. n not forgettin the hard gay guy : Ivan.. hahax.. but still it was fun.. before goin to the bbq.. i felt very empty.. hmm.. dunno y. felt like i dun deserve a place in this world.. everyting is not goin well for me.. quarrelled with like my mom n sis in the aftnn of the bbq.. gosh.. went to the bbq.. forgot everyting.. hahax.. thx to mat.. gosh.. look at him, n u just laugh.. he made lame jokes wic really made us laugh till our stomach pain.. hahax.. all the girls who came for gyl came down for bbq.. nuts bunch of grp.. jd brought his guitar to sing for us.. ooh.. the food was nice.. hahax. jun kai n skye was thrown into the swimming pool.. hahax. i hope skye haf the video on it.. hehex.. feel like watchin the whole event again...

well then.. kinda tired now.. feel like sleepin again.. haiz.. i dun quite feel healthy now.. mayb due to sleepin late n wakin up early.. hmm..

wel then.. ROCK ON!!

ll.aishah.ll

2007-09-23T01:14:00.000+08:00

Only hope - mandy moore

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give You my destiny
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

2007-09-23T00:56:00.000+08:00

aite.. i m back to update my blog..

like as if there is anything interesting for me to update.. sheesh.. ok.. you know.. i m starting to pity my parents now.. haiz.. much of the money saved for cabinet haf been used up on me.. well.. that is wat i heard lah.. wen i was eavesdroppin to their conversation.. i feel so bad now.. n the money is n ot exactly spent on sch stuff or necessities.. nope.. if that is the case, i wldnt mind actually.. instead.. the money haf been used for my medical needs.. haiz.. i haf been in n out of hosp i dunno for how many time tis yr alone.. fever lah.. this lah.. that lah.. gosh.. n the doctor dun allow me to b active in sports animore.. darn it.. my netball gone.. sheesh.. i hate to b sickly n all.. hw cld this actually happen?.. back in my sec sch.. i hav been hopin to fall sick.. but rarely it happen.. ok.. except when it is darn near to exam.. got to stress up.. then asthma attack.. hahax.. but other than that.. i was fit n healthy.. i cld run 2.4 km with ease.. it was easy runnin that.. but now.. all this haf gone apart.. very unfair if you ask me.. i wan to b the active girl that receive recognition for the energy n spirit.. haiz..

aniwae. today.. went out with phoe.. she wanted to update her particulars on the job she just quit.. hahax.. out of 10 days.. she did like only 3.. dun mind followin her since i had to go to sch for my talentime meeting oso.. hahax.. ok.. she thgt it was at jtc buildin actually.. but turn out it was at the cpf buildin.. gosh.. made one whole round arnd jurong mrt stn.. sheesh.. i was perspiring badly.. then after she updated her stuff n all.. came to sch.. she at last get to walk arnd sp.. hahax.. all this time.. i haf been goin to np lah.. havin tours n all..had talentime meetin n all.. then went to daiso to visit kesha.. yup.. kesh workin there now.. erm.. to kesh n phoe, if u still nd part time job.. tell me hor.. i tink i haf one lah.. be facilitators to pri sch kids.. u noe the maths n sci trails thingy?.. well yea.. got the contact for that.. this is a part time job.. a project based work.. contact me if u are interested k?.. hahax.. well aniwae.. aft that.. went to sembawang lib.. gosh.. i was dyin to read nicholas spark book.. aft watchin the movie.. hahax.. gosh.. i m such a romantic junkie.. hahax..

well.. this aft at last is goin to b the all awaited bbq.. cant wait for it.. hahax.. can at last meet my grp mates again.. so missed them.. yea.. gyl is such a blast.. feel like turnin back time n havin the whole thin again.. hahax..

well then.. feelin darn slpy here.. the next entry is a video clip frm a walk to remember.. the part where mandy moore sang only hope.. really inspiring song.. well.. enjoy!!

ll.aishah.ll

2007-09-22T01:20:00.000+08:00

oh gosh..

i m so addicted to the movie called "A walk to remember"... acted by shane west and mandy moore.. gosh.. i haf nvr watch any movie as touchin as this... n how i wish i haf the boyfrend who is just like shane west.. caring .. loving.. n daring.. i mean.. he even dared to ask jamie's dad to allow her to go on a date with him.. haf yet to c that kind of guy yet..

well yeap.. i haf been watchin this movie on you tube.. this is my 4 time watchin it.. cant blame me.. i can b a romantic movie addict at times.. hahax.. really is touchin.. well if you are into those romantic stuff lah.. hmm.. i wonder if there is any couple who went thru the same ting as them..

well.. a walk to remember.. mandy moore.. she sang.. n i haf to say.. her voice was wonderful.. really.. i mean.. the song are actually more of a church kind of song.. but the lyrics were touchin.. really talkin in depth abt 2 pple in love.. i especially like Only hope.. wait.. i tink i can get the video here... hmm..

well dunno y i m talkin abt the movie.. first vanessa.. now a walk to remember.. i wonder wats next.. not exactly talkin abt my daily life here.. hmm.. i seriously need to revamp my head.. ooh.. the only thing i can talk abt is the fight that i had with my mom.. ok.. it is not exactly a fight.. n argument to b exact.. gosh.. she just dun believe that i had studied for my papers.. after seein my result that is.. gosh.. i was really hopin they wun send by mail.. hmm.. thought wrong.. sheesh.. she thought all this while.. i haf been going out not to study.. but to just hang arnd shoppin centre... gosh.. does she tink i got all the time to do that.. i m not exactly the type who love shoppin. nope.. i do follow my girlfriends out on window shoppin.. but it is not exactly me lah.. i will only shop if i need to.. hahax.. thats wat happen in batam.. i shop for clothes.. coz i was in need of more.. hahax...i feel so nutty now.. aniwae.. yeah.. she kept sayin if i were to stay at home.. at least i can study.. she haf yet to understand me eventhough she been takin care of me for 17 yrs now.. not includin inside the womb and all.. i mean.. i prefer to study in an environment where either others are studyin or just alone at the place.. for example.. lib is an ideal place for me to study.. lookin at pple studyin makes me panic n the urge to study.. at home.. i will wake up at abt 4 am to study.. first bath in cold water so that i wun slp wen studyin.. hahax.. nvr will i study wen everyone is still awake.. gosh.. nvr.. where with all the distraction.. n my lil bro knockin on the damn bloody door askin me to entertain him.. n my mom askin me to cook or clean the house.. gosh.. there will b sumtin to distract me frm studyin..
haiz...

wel.. i tink i better stop complainin here.. i feel like watchin a walk to remember.. hahax.. addicted to it now.. sheesh...

ll.aishah.ll

2007-09-19T01:07:00.000+08:00

you know i was youtubing and watchin concert put up by the hsm cast.. n i realised sumting.. they all keep insultin vanessa hudgens.. VANESSA HUDGENS.. gosh.. just because of some naked pic, her reputation been tarnished.. i dun get this pple.. i mean.. its her life rite?.. y shud they bother.. coverin it up for her and all.. let her be wateva she wan lah.. she can put her naked photo all over the internet for all i care.. but i will still b her fan.. lets admit it.. she got talent.. she can sing n dance n act.. sumtime i do wish i haf the kind of talent she haf.. it will b a bliss.. able to entertain pple n all... hmm.. i go for talent n i cant b bothered with wat she do to her life.. she can b takin drug and murderin pple for all i care.. but she still is talented..'

i dunno y i the world m i talkin abt vanessa hudgens also.. i guess i m disappointed with her so call fans.. claimed to b a fan.. but turn their back to her just wen she make mistake.. i mean.. gosh.. people do make mistake.. there tonnes of pple doin wat she doin.. but y arent they being insulted?.. because they r not a star..

ok.. i m really not makin any sense here.. hahax... i guess the tiredness of helpin my mom to babysit my bro is really hittin me.. gosh.. takin care of him.. is like takin care 3 babies at one go.. because of this.. i remind myself.. to haf onli 2 kids aft i got married.. any more than tt will really kill me.. hahax..

ll.aishah.ll

2007-09-18T12:17:00.000+08:00

yay..

i m back to blog...
gosh.. i really dunno wat to talk abt actually.. i been like practically slacking at home.. doin nuthing.. well except help my mom to cook.. hmm.. now that it is the fasting month, my movement haf been much restricted.. b4 the fastin mth, weneva bored at hm, i will just play any funky song and just dance to the beat as a form of exercise.. hahax.. move any oh how.. i admit dancing isnt exactly my forte but hey, it really made me relax especially wen depressed.. now, i cant even dance that much.. i tried doin so, ended up fainting in my rm.. sheesh.. that is the prob wen u haf low blood pressure and u are workin on empty stomach.. haiz..

anyway, bb is back i singapore alrdy.. gosh.. he looked tan.. went to meet him at the jetty since i promise to b4 he left.. n my parents dun even noe i was there.. hahax.. anyway, it was kinda weird talkin to him now eversince the quarrel on the phone over his mom.. sometime i wonder whether all rich mom behave like that... hmm... usually weneva i meet him.. i can talk to him so easily.. hahax.. the talkative one.. yeap.. i can talk and talk.. then he will add jokes and all.. that is how i got warmth up to him.. he was one of the few guys whom i can really talk to.. but now.. it seem to me that there is a barrier btw us.. i haf to tink long and hard to come up with sumting to talk abt.. and his jokes werent that laughable now.. kinda lame actually.. haiz.. i miss those time we hang out together.. i mean, yeah we agreed that it is better to stay as frends but still... nvm...

ooh... i m starting to miss all the people frm gyl.. as in the be peeps.. gosh.. the laughter.. the songs jon create.. hahax..
susu ball susu ball
hanging on the wall..
one big big..
one small small..
hanging on the wall..

gosh.. i cant believe i was made to sing that song.. hahax.. then.. the raft collapse and all.. it real laughter.. then the shopping spree.. but of all thing, i miss the community service the most.. i mean.. gosh.. i spoke in malay.. n now i know that i m terribly horrible at it.. dunno if the kids there understood me.. hahax.. wish there was sumone video tapin our every movement.. then i can keep watchin it till i get sick of it.. hahax..

well.. tmr is the sub comm meeting.. i hope the majority frm gyl wil come down for the meetin and we can hang out.. really miss them all.. hahax. wait.. how many time haf i said that?.. hahax..
ooh.. and then there is the add meeting that i haf to work out on.. gosh.. haf to pay 50% deposit.. wic mean abt 3000 bucks.. dunno where and how to get that money to pay man..

well then. i gues til here lah.. haf to start tinkin abt the agenda for tmr meetin alrdy.. oso i need to tink of wat bloody gem to take.. feel like takin watercolouring though.. but as skye said.. it defeat the purpose of takin gems since i haf done watercolouring during my sec school time.. hahax..

ll.aishah.ll

2007-09-13T01:05:00.000+08:00

okie..

i m back to update my blog. again. hahax. lets c. where did i stop. hmm.. i have talked abt the gyl camps rite?. so now i will talk about the fot and the trip down to arenalive, ikea and changi village.

i was supposedly to come on the first day of fot camp at about 5 pm. after getting some rest and all. but guess what. i haf to go to msia to visit someone there. ok. this should not exactly be an excused lah. i told fathi and farhan abt it so they know i will b abit late. but guess wat again?.. i haf to fall sick in msia and b send to the nearest clinic due to my fever. and there i was. supposedly visiting someone but ended up being sick. sheesh. hmm. at the clinic, everyone was making a fuss over me. gosh. it is onli fever and flu and cough. they made it sound like as if i was abt to die there and then.. i dunno how many cloth haf been put on my forehead to get my fever down. frankly speakin, i actually dun feel that gd with all the fussin arnd. i rather be left there alone. sheesh

well then. i went to fot despite being sick and all.. but onli on the second day of the camp. it was onli a 3 days 2 night camp. and since i miss out the first nite, i ended up missin the mt night. no fun. aniwae. i arrived school at abt 4 plus. thx gawd my dad send me to sch if not i tink i will have faint sumwhere without anyone noticing me. hahax.

wen i reach the camp area (just outside the clubhouse), there was only 2 grp there. apparently the other 2 grp are still playing amazing race. gosh. that is like damn kewl lah. i remember all my council camps in sec sch. there is alwys amazing race. love them seh. well i was posted to grp b which was VENOM!! hahax. that grp is awesome. the pple in the grp are : jun hao, putri, amalina, keith, brenda and michelle.had loads of fun with them actually..

nuthing mac happen except there was the telematch and my beloved hp got wet. urgh. could not on the hp after that. then it was disco nite. love it to the core as it actually made me really groove. the solo nite. i was still sick lah. so i dun quite notice wat happen arnd me. coughin so badly that i toss and turn on my slpin bag. and it was freakin warm that area lah.. sheesh. bt i was still a gd experience. made me tink that actually all the mt night i have went thru help me to make me more braver (i tink).

okie. let c. then break camp. erm. nuthing muc lah on the last day of camp. i haf alwys hated last day of camp. made me wish the camp was longer. just like gyl. gosh. now to tink of it. how i wish the camp was like 1 whole week lah. that will be so totally awesome. but then again i will be even blacker as compared to now.

well then on tues, a day aft the camp, me, shiffa, ama, rege, abu, gideon and farhan went to check out the add venue. arenalive. so damn awesome. it is that kewl man. gosh. to kathleen. thx for introducing the place to me. gosh. it is simply awesome. fell in love with the place when we step into the place. oh my gosh. i really hope my year of add will b as kewl as wat we are planning for this yr graduatin student. the place really is suitable for our theme. the colour and all.. urgh.. love that place.

then we went to tampines ikea. hahax. wen to check out furniture for the clubhouse again. this time, since we haf more head to come together, we can tink of more ideas on how to decorate the room. but we will just wait and c.

the next day. which is yesterday onli. i went to watch movie with doug, jon, beatrice, len, skye and nabeel. watch 19 level to hell. thgt it was a scary movie. but turn out to b quite lame. b4 meetin them, i actually walk alone arnd wisma. and guess who i see?.. bb mom. to b polite i just said hi to her. n i thgt she will say hi back. but no. instead of a simple hello or hi. she start hurling abusive word to me in front of the bloody crowd. oh for goodness sake. doesnt she realised that me n him are not even contacting each other anymore?. i ended up quarrellin with him on the phone abt his mom behaviour. my whole face became black because of her and the quarrel. really spoil my mood.

well then, after watchin movie.. went to bugis to buy gid bdae present. sad to say, i almost got lost in bugis. yeap. me gettin lost in bugis. dun blame me. i m just not an expert in the town area. you ask me abt heartlanders shop and all, i am definitely an expert to that. hahax. then. me regina and ama went down to changi village to celebrate gid bdae. yup. it is his bday.

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY GIDEON!

well till here then.. freakin tired now. n it will b the start of fastin today. time sure pass very fast ah?.. hahax.

ll.aishah.ll

2007-09-08T11:04:00.000+08:00

okie...

i m back from batam..
n now i m preparing my stuff to fot..
gosh..
hahax..

batam haf hell lots of fun..
with all the peeps i m with and all..
SCHOOL OF BE RAWKZ..

we were totally hyper on it lah..

let me recall first..
erm..
did i talk about spac2go camp?..
hmm.. i guess not.. so i tink i will talk about both camp here..

spac2go..
came late for it cause got gyl briefing.. had flag painting and all..
i thgt since shiffa or ama was not there i will be bored to death with no one to talk to.. but nope.. it was simply awesome talking to my teammate which consist off:
benjamin (leader)
nigel(deputy leader)
wen ting
douglas
ivan
jondave
pamela
kenneth
fad
gordon..

we were laughin our heads out tinking off all the stupid stuff we going to bring for the gyl camp.. like guitar, volleyball etc.. hahax.. we are really nuts.. but fun.. i even brought them to the be clubhouse to just intro them abit.. ok.. fine.. i did not exactly intro abt it to them, just that, we need to get some cheer for our group so we decided to go to the room to lookout for any cheer.. guess wat cheer we found??... camp fire cheer.. hahax.. well then we had our lunch together with skye grp.. hilarious to b with them..

aft all of this, me n wen ting who happen to b in spac2go also, went for our camp.. yeah.. i got a new friend who is going to the same camp as me.. hahax.. the camp was alrite.. practically all the seniors know me by now cause i m either known as the girl who ask alot or the malay girl who look like chinese.. hahax... went we came, me and wen ting, again happen to be in the same grp, just sit arnd tinkin of wat cheer to tink off.. by then my brain juices haf been used up for gyl camp.. so i was kinda brain dead.. lolx.. then.. it was a talk by mr francis.. he very funny n kinda kewl... made me wish i was that inspiring like him.. hahax.. oh.. had our telematch n all.. dinner.. then preparation for our talentime.. lights off.. first day was kinda boring...

then second day.. again talks on spac2go.. yada yada...nothing much to talk there.. i will just go strgt to the part wic i like the most.. talentime n night walk.. talentime.. ok.. to change the boring stuff of having skit.. we decided to just sing a camp fire song.. i feel so dortz now.. hahax.. with the help off sihffa grp, we managed to pull it off.. shiffa grp did the clap cheer.. so we also help them to make it even better.. yep.. n both grp pull it off.. aft the talentime, we just sat arnd playin sum games like big fish and small fish, the hand game and lotz more.. i thgh we were doin that to just kill time before lights off.. guess not.. we were to walk arnd t15, t16, koufu area, t7, t3a and w5.. there r sum places that me n my partner went to.. just that i forget what place is that.. hahax.. the first part was scary.. with all the scaring frm back to front.. sheesh.. arent they scared?.. i mean it is the hungry ghost festival?.. shudnt they b feelin a lil timid at the very least?.. hmm..

ok.. we slpt like arnd 5 am like that.. we were all sticky and all since we did not bath the whole day.. so we decided to just bath at like 8 am.. by then.. the number of girls left during the camp was from 9 to 4.. sheesh..

okie.. at 8 am the girls woke up and we walk all the way fro t15 go sport complex to bath.. nuts.. we can just bath at moberly but we chose to bath at the sport complex.. but then again, the toilet there is freakin clean.. yep.. ok.. then breakfast.. ya da yada.. apparently the senior haf yet to woke up because they slpt as late as 6 am.. hahax.. it will b evil to say serve them rite.. but it really does.. hahax.. gosh.. aniwae.. we had to read this book on the differ courses in sp.. sheesh.. then present to the whole spac2go.. n i tell u.. it was tiring.. hahax.. by 1.30.. camp ended.. oh.. n my dad just gotten his new car... volunteer to pick me up frm the camp.. but sheesh. haf to wait for him till 3.. n i was dead tired by then... my brain has been pack with add n gyl that i was that exhausted... lol.. ok guess i m not makin sense lah.. hahax..

ok the next day.. i haf to go to my aunt house for this party she had.. wait.. i tink i miss out sumting.. oh yea.. i send bb off to tekong.. n guess wat he said?.. ok.. nvm wat he said.. but i m freakin angry with him.. bah. get away.. we shud not haf started anyting lah... luckily we are just frends.. if not i will haf slaughter him.. urgh.. wat he said.. really made me piss..

back to my aunt house.. ok.. i wanted to wear this black dress that i bought at jurong. but sumhow my dad find it inappropriate.. so guess wat i did.. i just wear jeans.. fold it up to my knees then wear the dress over.. with my white shoes of as high as 2 inch.. that made my dad quiet.. gosh.. he really did not know i can go way into fashion if i wan to.. then made phoe.. jon.. terence..and kesha.. my best of frends.. went arnd city hall.. ate at.. erm.. wait.. i forgot where i ate.. but i remember it was sumwhere.. dortz.. hahax.. then.. we were practically cam whoring.. sheesh.. i took so many pic with my phone that my phone do not haf any more memory.. hahax.. phoe was like cam whoring practically everywhere.. dortz..

the followin day was a mon.. had sub comm meeting.. all main comm was suppose to attend it.. but the year 2.. coz of the fot plannin, did not come.. so it was left with year 1.. lookin at the pathetic number of us attendin.. i told myself to get more people to join the sub comm.. i mean.. BE may b small but we want to whole school to participate in the event we plan.. so we need lots of recruitment to help us out... oh gosh.. i m startin to hate my post.. dun ask me y.. i just do.. minutes.. minutes and more minutes... people keep tinkin that my post is really high for a first year.. ok.. i admit.. it was.. but at the same time.. stressful.. sumore i m in charge of the biggest event in be : ADD.. even tedious work.. luckily the majority in my team are depm student.. so they kinda lift some of the load up frm me.. thx guys!!

oh.. then the last briefin b4 gyl.. i was freakin anxious abt tis lah.. i cant wait to meet my team n just create sum crazy stuff to make people laugh.. i dun quite know the mm well.. they look kinda serious to me.. so i wasnt sure if i could even make frends with any of them lah.. well.. we were practically laughin our heads off during the talk.. even over the smallest ting.. by then, i was anxious for the camp..me pam, jk n skye went to imm to shop for the stuff for our community service which will b held on the last day of camp.. initially jondave wanted to join.. he decided not to coz he was tired.. well dun mind though.. he himself need to pack his stuff since he will b bringin guitar and speaker n all of those stuf..

the day of the camp arived... i met jing gui at yishun int at 630.. the bus to bedok was freakin slow if you ask me lah.. every bus stop the bus had to stop.. so instead of a 45 min trips, we ended up on a 1 hr trip.. gosh.. was 15 min late to meet wen ting and valerie.. we then, from bedok mrt tok taxi to tanah merah ferry terminal.. aparrently, skye arrived the terminal at abt 5 am ++.. claimed that he was afraid he wil oversleep.. hahax..

on the ferry.. we sat at the top deck.. awesome i m telling you.. wind was blowing so strong.. very fun.. totally.. hahax. the sea view made me recall wat bb said.. n i guess.. there and then.. that i shud try to forget him and just move on.. well i hope to b able to do that.. hahax..

turi beach resort is really a beautiful place if you ask me.. nice sea view.. nice breeze.. best of all.. nice resort.. me pam n wen ting shared a rm.. then again.. we are the only 3 girls in the grp lah.. hahax.. our first activity was trekkin.. it was muddy and all.. the ground was slippery.. i m tellin you, i regret wearin the shoe i was wearin coz it was my fav shoe.. n i haf to step on muds.. yep.. muds.. of all tings.. sheesh.. but kinda kewl lah.. we sang our way thru the treks.. singing national anthem etc, just to keep our spirit up.. hahax...

we ended up 2nd.. out of 3 teams.. but i m proud of my team.. y u may ask?.. the team spirit is there.. we nvr say give up or anyting.. we just keep going on.. the guys help us girls thru the diff path and all.. we keep our spirit alive though we were half dead halfway thru the trek.. i was having fun with this grp of my mind.. GO TELAGA aka ACE OF SPADES!!...
it was dinner aft that.. dinner was nice.. really nice.. i guess went we are hungry, everyting appear nice.. hahax.. then sum talks.. then we went to doug rm to discuss on our raft buildin and gala night.. hehex.. it was fun talkin with the guys.. they were practically nuts.. talkin dirty.. but really sensible wen need to.. but of all the guys, i haf to say i was closer to jondave.. it was much easier talkin to him compared to the other guys... hahax...

second day.. it was raft building.. lol.. our supposedly plan raft broke into 2.. i ended up swimmin in the sea with corals underneath.. hehex.. i real tiring ting.. my i was half burnt by the time we end.. hahax.. aft raft buildin, we just jump into the swimmin pool to cool ourselve down.. we played water captain ball and water volleyball.. hahax.. lunch n more talks.. then had free and easy slot.. the guys went to the lounge to haf fun there.. ok.. too much fun can cause disastrous effect i m tellin u.. then at night.. aft our boring talk.. we went again to doug rm to discuss again on our gala night.. hahax.. cute i m tellin u.. they initially. as in jondave, doug and ken came to our rm to discuss.. but we were so noisy that our supposedly neighbour complain abt us.. dortz..

let c.. on third day.. we kayak and dragonboat.. awesome.. i miss kayakin.. the last time i kayak was during the sec 3 camp.. which feels like centuries ago.. hahax.. then dragonboatin.. remind me of the first time i became vice captain of the volley ball team and had to row the dragonboat together with other student leaders.. that was in 2003.. so u can see how long it has been.. free and easy.. me, pam n wen ting wanted to jump into the pool again.. but sumhow we were not alowed to do so without swimmin costume.. gosh.. no way m i wearin swimming costume in front of the guys.. so ended up the 3 of us went back to our bunk.. wash up.. then slp.. until jon and doug came in.. that also.. doug, pam and wen ting slept.. while me n jon talk our way thru.. hahax.. we then went to doug rm.. aft everyone woken up.. to haf our last rehearsal.. i haf to say.. it was kinda hilarious.. but sumhow.. it will only b hilarious if you are in be.. coz onli the be know wat the joke is about.. then we went back to our bunk and change out to our gala night clothes.. i was really wearin sumting simple.. just wearing shirt with jeans and heels.. hahax.. u shud c the girls from mm.. they really look glamourous if you ask me.. all the gowns and all.. look as if they were going to prom night or sumting like that..

gala night was boring.. i haf to admit.. it will b better if the depm student were the one to organize. i mean.. we were thought to organize this kind of tings lah.. so the gala night was boring.. the emcees were not up to standard of becomin emcees.. they seem to b onli entertaining the mm onli hu were the onli one to find it fun.. hahax.. oh.. yeah.. the onli ting that was fun was.. GRP A, telaga, WON FIRST PRIZE FOR THE BEST GRP... hahax.. we shud won tis also.. hahax..

then, we gals went up to our bunk.. our bunk is not as far as the guys bunk.. it was really near to the lobby compared to the guys.. which haf to go all the uphill n all.. hahax.. so we went back. change out to our slping clothes.. watch sum show, then went out to doug bunk, tinkin mayb we shud just slp with them lah.. n just haf fun.. but guess wat.. jon and doug ended up comin to our rm to haf a slpover.. hahax.. we were watchin this movie on hbo about this singer.. a biography movie.. i was still awake.. then getin bored.. we watch 300.. not even half way thru, my eyes were slowly closing. hahax.. so we all ended up slpin.. imagine.. 5 people slpin on 2 queen side bed.. hahax.. pam was slpin on the extreme right.. followed by doug.. then jon.. then me.. then wen ting.. hahax.. it was really a night that i will definitely rmb...

the last day.. we check out.. then was cam whoring again.. hahax... be is so known as a cam whoring sch.. everyone love to take pic.. well including me i guess.. hahax.. we then went to an elementary school for our community service.. gosh.. i really pity the kids there.. their school is not at all condusive learning place... they survive in a rm without fan and windows are closed.. gosh.. n we singaporean here are practically complainin abt how warm wen we are in the rm with all the fans on.. gosh.. i had lots of fun interacting with the kids there.. they are really cute.. n summore.. an advantage for me is that i can speak malay.. so they sumhow understand me..
after that we went shoppin. yep.. on the long trip to our shoppin destination, we sang lots of song.. frm our created song to chinese songs to eng songs.. hahax..

we ate lunch first there.. A&W.. long time no eat.. hahax.. but the service was extremely bad.. totaly.. haiz.. i waited for 1/2 an hour for my food.. by then.. i dun feel like eating.. so i just packet the food away and went shoppin.. the clothes are extremely cheap i m tellin u.. gosh.. hahax.. i bought like 4 shirts altogether and one wallet.. hehex.. nice wallet if you ask me.. then it was time to go home.. i sat together with doug and jon in the ferry lah... really tired.. i literally slpt on jon shoulder.. cant b bothered with wat others will say..

the whole bunch of us then went to habour frnt interchange to eat our dinner.. i was freakin hungry by then.. i skip lunch bcoz of the bad service lah.. so i ordered mee goreng and chendol.. hahax.. i tink i can still eat another plate of mee goreng then...

well luckily my dad agreed to pick me up.. i was so tired lah.. i dun even tink i can reach yishun in like 10 mins time if i were to take mrt home.. hahax.. ok then.. i m dead tired.. n i haf yet to pack my bag for fot.. n i still need to go msia tonight.. sheesh.. well then..

next entry.. with all the pics.. hehex..